Annoyed with mother in law!!

zowiey · Dec 12th, 2008, 17:57 PM

Grrrr! She gets me so mad! Basically me and my husband have told our parents we are 'trying' for a baby(mainly to shut my mother up!!) My mum was really happy for us, and began making plans for the future!!

Mil on the other hand, her response was how will you afford your mortage? You do know once it's here your stuck with it?!! There's no going back. shouldn't you wait until your abit older?!!

I'm 25 nearly 26, oh is 28 nearly 29 and we have been together for 10 years!!! As for the mortage, it's over 25 years!!! Does she expect us to wait untill we've paid it off?!!! i'll be 49!!!

Sorry for the rant,it just hurt a little that she couldn't share our excitment.

Did anyone else get this or have you kept it quiet?!!

Luvlybabybump · Dec 12th, 2008, 18:55 PM

I'm sorry your mil can't be excited for you. There may never be a perfect time to have children. Only you and your DH know what is best for you both. I wanted to keep it quite once I finally got my IUD removed. I tried to avoid the topic but since both my mom and mil are impatient to become grandmothers and they kept asking. Finally I just came out with it. Now they seem to have relaxed and are patiently waiting for the annoucement.
I'm sure your mil will change her tune once she sees her beautiful grandbaby. If not, then it's her loss. Try not to let it bring you down.
Good Luck

T'elle · Dec 12th, 2008, 19:12 PM

aww we havent had that situation as the mil isnt around for that kind of stuff, but i understand what your saying huni, and as luvly has said there is never a perfect time to have a baby, its only perfect timing when the baby is here and you will be so happy. I think there are plenty mil's who are the same as yours huni, but you and DH have made your decision to TTC and they have to respect that decision, maybe it will be different when a little bean arrives and things will be better, good luck hun!! xxx

jodi_19 · Dec 12th, 2008, 19:31 PM

I know exactly how you feel. We recently decided to try and had to overcome the same type of obstacle. My mother in law responded by saying "Why don't you wait a few years. I was 25 before I have my first baby." Little did she realize If I were to be pregnant now I would be 25 when I gave birth. Way to put your foot in you mouth mom!

PrEgSeCoNdJoY · Dec 12th, 2008, 20:01 PM

Hunnie my first is 2 years old and mil has never seen her in person!! It is hard to gain the respect from the mil but sometimes not even worth it we are trying for our second and she still has no plans to come see us its sad but we have got to keep going on with our lives as long as your oh is in the same boat as you then i wouldn't worry about it if she is nothing like my dh mother then she will come around!!! GOOD LUCK!!

Pux · Dec 12th, 2008, 21:56 PM

If people waited until they were "ready" or waited to not have to pay bills the earth wouldn't very populated

zowiey · Dec 13th, 2008, 05:04 AM

Thanks everyone!! I think I was just more annoyed because, I felt that as I was telling my mum then my husband should tell his, he didn't particuly want to as he felt she would have that reaction but I thought that when it came to such a postive thing she would be happy!!

Do you think mother in laws are funny 'cos we took their little boys away from them?!! DH mum did everything for him untill he moved in with me, she definatley over mothered him!! Even starched his socks!!!!!

stargazer · Dec 13th, 2008, 05:58 AM

We haven't told our parents we are trying...but I KNOW that would be exactly the reaction we would get from MIL! She has one grandson already and all she does is moan when he is over coz he makes too much mess....she hardly even plays with him, just puts dvds on for him to watch...He is nearly 5!!! She drives me up the wall! I know exactly what her reaction'll be when we finally get pg and im not looking forward too it!

Charlie19 · Dec 13th, 2008, 13:07 PM

jus ignore the stupid woman, she is probably menapausal, they all go a bit funny at around 50, my MIL was a nighmare when we go married and hence she does not lknow we are TTC, best cross that bridge when we come to it, cheer up, !! I am 27 MIL was 18 when she got married I was 26 and aparently "too young to be settling down" but me and DH have been together 12 years now !!!! don't worry she will come round they always do !!!

SJK · Dec 13th, 2008, 13:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zowiey

Thanks everyone!! I think I was just more annoyed because, I felt that as I was telling my mum then my husband should tell his, he didn't particuly want to as he felt she would have that reaction but I thought that when it came to such a postive thing she would be happy!!

Do you think mother in laws are funny 'cos we took their little boys away from them?!! DH mum did everything for him untill he moved in with me, she definatley over mothered him!! Even starched his socks!!!!!

I know exactly how you feel xx

Dec 12th, 2008, 17:57 PM	#1
zowiey Trying to conceive (TTC) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Leicestershire Posts: 1,134	Annoyed with mother in law!! Grrrr! She gets me so mad! Basically me and my husband have told our parents we are 'trying' for a baby(mainly to shut my mother up!!) My mum was really happy for us, and began making plans for the future!! Mil on the other hand, her response was how will you afford your mortage? You do know once it's here your stuck with it?!! There's no going back. shouldn't you wait until your abit older?!! I'm 25 nearly 26, oh is 28 nearly 29 and we have been together for 10 years!!! As for the mortage, it's over 25 years!!! Does she expect us to wait untill we've paid it off?!!! i'll be 49!!! Sorry for the rant,it just hurt a little that she couldn't share our excitment. Did anyone else get this or have you kept it quiet?!!

Status: Offline

Dec 12th, 2008, 18:55 PM	#2
Luvlybabybump Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: California Desert Posts: 75	I'm sorry your mil can't be excited for you. There may never be a perfect time to have children. Only you and your DH know what is best for you both. I wanted to keep it quite once I finally got my IUD removed. I tried to avoid the topic but since both my mom and mil are impatient to become grandmothers and they kept asking. Finally I just came out with it. Now they seem to have relaxed and are patiently waiting for the annoucement. I'm sure your mil will change her tune once she sees her beautiful grandbaby. If not, then it's her loss. Try not to let it bring you down. Good Luck

Status: Offline

Dec 12th, 2008, 19:12 PM	#3
T'elle Other BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: South Wales Posts: 2,962	aww we havent had that situation as the mil isnt around for that kind of stuff, but i understand what your saying huni, and as luvly has said there is never a perfect time to have a baby, its only perfect timing when the baby is here and you will be so happy. I think there are plenty mil's who are the same as yours huni, but you and DH have made your decision to TTC and they have to respect that decision, maybe it will be different when a little bean arrives and things will be better, good luck hun!! xxx

Status: Offline

Dec 12th, 2008, 19:31 PM	#4
jodi_19 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 1,120	I know exactly how you feel. We recently decided to try and had to overcome the same type of obstacle. My mother in law responded by saying "Why don't you wait a few years. I was 25 before I have my first baby." Little did she realize If I were to be pregnant now I would be 25 when I gave birth. Way to put your foot in you mouth mom!

Status: Offline

Dec 12th, 2008, 20:01 PM	#5
PrEgSeCoNdJoY Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Westminster SC Posts: 701	Hunnie my first is 2 years old and mil has never seen her in person!! It is hard to gain the respect from the mil but sometimes not even worth it we are trying for our second and she still has no plans to come see us its sad but we have got to keep going on with our lives as long as your oh is in the same boat as you then i wouldn't worry about it if she is nothing like my dh mother then she will come around!!! GOOD LUCK!!

Status: Offline

Dec 12th, 2008, 21:56 PM	#6
Pux Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Calgary, Canada Posts: 1,420	If people waited until they were "ready" or waited to not have to pay bills the earth wouldn't very populated

Status: Offline

Dec 13th, 2008, 05:04 AM	#7
zowiey Trying to conceive (TTC) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Leicestershire Posts: 1,134	Thanks everyone!! I think I was just more annoyed because, I felt that as I was telling my mum then my husband should tell his, he didn't particuly want to as he felt she would have that reaction but I thought that when it came to such a postive thing she would be happy!! Do you think mother in laws are funny 'cos we took their little boys away from them?!! DH mum did everything for him untill he moved in with me, she definatley over mothered him!! Even starched his socks!!!!!

Status: Offline

Dec 13th, 2008, 05:58 AM	#8
stargazer Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: London Posts: 455	We haven't told our parents we are trying...but I KNOW that would be exactly the reaction we would get from MIL! She has one grandson already and all she does is moan when he is over coz he makes too much mess....she hardly even plays with him, just puts dvds on for him to watch...He is nearly 5!!! She drives me up the wall! I know exactly what her reaction'll be when we finally get pg and im not looking forward too it!

Status: Offline

Dec 13th, 2008, 13:07 PM	#9
Charlie19 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: UK Posts: 78	jus ignore the stupid woman, she is probably menapausal, they all go a bit funny at around 50, my MIL was a nighmare when we go married and hence she does not lknow we are TTC, best cross that bridge when we come to it, cheer up, !! I am 27 MIL was 18 when she got married I was 26 and aparently "too young to be settling down" but me and DH have been together 12 years now !!!! don't worry she will come round they always do !!!

Status: Offline

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