Hi there girls, I would appreciate your advice on my situation. I live in the US but my work requires me to travel to Africa, where I must take malaria medication (it is required, not recommended bc I go to rural areas). My boss wants me to go on a trip in either January, February or March, we still don't know... The problem is that if I am gonna go on this trip, I can't try to conceive anymore.

My boss knows I've had a mc in June and that I've been ttc again, but she asked me to wait to get pregnant until we finalize this trip to Africa (although it is not hugely important that I go). She has no kids, and probably doesnt understand how 3 months seem like an eternity when you've been ttc for almost a year (started in Jan. 08, got pg in May, mc in June, put off trying in July ,August, Sept. bc I was in Africa, and have been trying again since Oct.)

My question: how can I try to explain to her that I don't want to put off ttc for 3 months? Am I being unreasonable, do I need a reality check? Am I over reacting about wanting so desperately to be able to ttc in the next 3 months? help...

Well, I hope this isn't too intrusive of a question, but how old are you? If you are in your mid-late 30's like me, I can understand not wanting to put off TTC, but if you are younger then I would go for it. Africa sounds like a blast no matter what the reason...I guess it also depends on how long you'd be gone?

Oh man, I missed the part where she actually asked you to put off TTC. The nerve!!! I say do whatever you feel is right for you. It's your life, not hers, and your job should not be your life.

Would you rather have this job or be TTC even if it means looking for a new job? If you'd rather be TTC at those costs, tell her that you don't want to go because you are TTC. I am not saying that you will lose your job at all, but that would be worse case scenario. Since that is the worse that can happen, you should think about it and how much you have to lose one way versus the other.

that is ridiculous. they cannot fire you for being preggo (if you are by the time the trip comes up). she also cannot ask you to not ttc. completely not allowed. live your life and don't let your boss make such unrealistic demands. good luck with your TTC journey. xox

That is stupid. Your boss surely isn't allowed to tell you not to ttc, as alerady said.. if you are pregnant by the time the trip comes around, you cant get fired just because you're pregnant and cant go!

I agree with frippledip, especially if you are in your 30's.

I am also in my 30's & TTC my first.. I simply wouldnt have the time to put TTC off for 3 months! Even my doctor tells me I may not have all that long left to TTC especially is anything goes wrong!

Tough one.
I presume it's not as easy as just "wait and see if you are pregnant by then"? I think this is what i'd do BUT, with malaria tablets don't you start taking them ages before you actually go? If so then i guess it's your dr you need to speak to more than anything? Not really sure but i think malaria tablets are not good in early pregnancy and you shouldn't take them when TTC?
If the malaria tablets aren't an issue i think i'd just continue TTC. Your boss can't ask you not to - thats ridiculous! She must be bonkers even saying that really. If employment law in the U.S. is anything like the U.K she could get into a lot of trouble for even suggesting that!

That seems pretty unreasonable of your boss to me!
Have you tried sitting her down and telling her just how important this is to you? Perhaps she doesn't actually comprehend how much of an impact 3 months of not ttc will have on you.
You could always maybe suggest that if it's in January, you will go, but any later and you won't. The problem with malaria tablets is that you have to take them for up to 4 weeks afterwards and then you should probably allow a further 2 weeks after that for the drugs to leave your system. I think that there is one brand (malarone I think) that you only need to take for 7 days afterwards so if you do have to go, try and get hold of those.

It's so frustrating that people who are not ttc, often have no idea just what it feels like to want your BFP. They also have no idea that every cycle counts!!

Good luck with your decision! We are all here for you

Ugh shes out of line asking you to put off ttc!
Shes your boss in WORK, not your entire life, especially not with YOUR life changing decisions. If you were to get pregnant before this trip, you'd just not go and thatd be the end of it...she couldnt have a go at you for being pregnant, and couldnt fire you or anything as thats against the law

Its completely up to you hun, you need to do whats right for YOU, and she has no right to expect otherwise