DolceBella

Hey all! Just wondering how everyone brooched the ttc topic with your friends/family... and when/how to tell them. I almost feel afraid to tell people, for fear that ttc may be challenging for me. I don't want to be asked all the time "are you pg yet?" And I also don't want to then explain any possible m/c. But I know I'll get funny looks when people realize I'm no longer drinking at social events. Any thoughts?

SJK

I didnt actually tell them, and when I had the mc, I only told those close to me , good luck xx

CupcakeGirl

I am going through something similar. While I was excited to tell my closest friends, I didn't really feel like it was anyone else's business, but sometimes I feel "forced" to tell them (in situations like yours, for example, where everyone is drinking and they're wondering why you aren't.)

tmr1234

iv not told any one as with my fam they all would look down at me like iam a let down coz i cant do soming so "easy" as to get preg agane. (like its that easy)

porkypig

I'm in a similar situation to you, none of my family or friends know we are ttc, and when im in the dpo state and i don't want to drink I always feel like people are thinking 'oo wonder if she's pg etc?'
I just say things like i've just taken headache tablets so i can't drink or just say you're on a diet and cutting out drink coz its got lots of calories etc xxx

littlestar

or have a soft drink and say you have vodka/rum etc in it but make sure no-one tries to buy you a drink, if they do politely ask for a soft drink in it own as the vodka/rum is normally a little more expensive and tell them you like to alternate them anyway.

my mum found out when i'd been referred for a scan, i also had to tell her that some of the comments she'd made the previous weekend had upset me as she found out bil's gf was pregnant and made comment to her lack of grandchildren. and asked if she could adopt theirs, needless to say i was livid! when i told her how long we'd been trying and that i'd wanted it to stay a surprise, but having the scan scared me and i needed my mum! she was upset how she'd been and to be perfectly honest i normally broocht eh subjuct with her, but initially i didn't want them to know becuase i thought they'd be badgering me all the time.
mil,fil etc now know about my scan but i didn't tell them directly what it was about i guess they suspect we're trying but i avoid the subject with them as bils gf got pg without even trying, mil has had 2 mc's in the past though and we have talk kids indirectly but not about us and kids iykwim.

helenbun2005

hey!

we told our immediate families - although mine wasnt happy (it was 3 months until our wedding and my folks didnt want me to spoil the wedding by being sick etc).

But we were pg in a month and ive been feeling fine! Ill be 16 weeks at our wedding, but it was right for us to tell people. We figured, if it went wrong, those are the people we would tell!

i told work that it was a "complete, unplanned shock" - it sounded better for them, than to say we were trying!

But we knew the truth - you do whats right for you. If you want to tell them -do! Good luck! x

dan-o

I havent told the families yet, but I will tell my mother the next time I speak to her, so I can pick her brains on all the problems she had conceiving us. I might also try to gain some knowledge from the MIL, but not just yet..

I dicussed it with the fella in stages until he completely came round to the idea of a baby (so as not to scare the living daylights out of him!) then finally came off BC last month

Jessgirl

Hi, we're going through this too and I don't know how to cope. Unfortunately everyone at work thinks I'm anti children - I had to put this about cos just this year alone there have been 9 people in our dept who have given birth and there have been broad hints n looks, also in my close circle of friends, we are the only couple who are childless and likewise in our family - its all very painful. There is of course the very akward situation of christmas where cos we live in london, our visitors need to stay overnight and everyone wants to spend xmas with the family with the children. So, we are thinking of solving that prob by pretending we are away on hols and locking our door. Sorry, I'm pretty bitter about this - all way tmi - but would be grateful for any advice. I'm sure all of these -ve feelings must just be my paranoia.

Re the drinking - I normally get a small glass of wine that I sip for whole evening and my DH normally scoffs all of it for me. Or, we arrange to drive somewhere to meet people and I'm designated driver - something which all accept, no stigma attached.

Good luck all.

twinmami07

I dont think you have to tell anyone unless you want to. Its no one elses business. How often do you normally go out drinking that it would be an issue?! I dont drink anyway so i've never had that problem. Although i think its perfectly understandable for someone to not want to drink one night even if they aren't TTC, it shouldnt be any big deal.

We have been trying for 8 months and i've only just told a close friend a couple of days ago. She wanted to make plans so i explained to her i have an appointment about TTC that day. We aren't telling our families (or anyone else) until we are 13+ weeks pregnant.