ktsl123

So I have been keeping track of everything this first month of TTC and that includes temping, ovulation test, things with my body. The thing is I just knew I was not pregnant. I really feel that I will know when it happens and my intuition told me no this month. Even with all the signs I was
having I was not going to fool myself. The thing is with all my signs you would think I was pregnant. My temp was high until today, my cervix was high and soft till today, my boobs were sore and I had cramping for several days.

Today I finally got AF. I was really desperatly waiting for it to come to get it over with since I know I am not pregnant. When I got it I yelled yes! yes!
I was also really sad because it really just confirmed I am not pregnant.

I just cried for like 2 hours. My husband said "Maybe God is trying to tell us something". I said "Fuck You"! What he meant was maybe it's just not the right time and we need to make more money. Really though what we have is never enough. We have everything anyone would want, but it is never enough for him! We are 26 we have a big house with 3 bedrooms and 2 nice cars. He makes a good living on his own. I don't even really need to work. I won't get all that into it, but the point is he doesn't understand my feelings. I was crying my eyes out and he basically tells me that maybe God does not want me pregnant right now! Well did God want my sister pregnant at 17 years old in HS! No, it's either your lucky and you get pregnant or you don't.


I know this is my first official month TTC but I wanted to start TTC in July 07 when we got married and he made me wait till now! I have been waiting and waiting and waiting! Every month passed and it was another chance going by every month he would say "no, I told you when we will start I am not ready." Now over a year later the month I have been waiting over a year for is here. We did everything perfectly this month BUT I AM NOT PREGNANT!

I am just so pissed and upset and angry that I am not pregnant! For God sakes I even used preseed!! I am even more angry that my husband thought that all it takes is one time and poof I am pregnant! Every month I reminded him that that is now how it works. What really makes me mad is I want to be pregnant NOW!! He honestly is just like whatever it happens whenever it happens. Yes, I know that is a much easier way to look at it, but it just shows he doesn't really care and understand me.

I just don't understand if I can handle all this. The waiting is just killing me. All it is is waiting constantly for ovulation then for my bfp. For my sanity I am praying and praying I get a BFP soon.

I am just sad, stressed...so many things..... and thought letting it out would make me feel better. Crying helped a lot though.

LeaArr

littlestar

I understand your fustration hun, we're all trying for the one and only thing money can't truely buy.
It will happen in good time, enjoy the BD'ing, enjoy each other! It WILL happen, It's just not happened this month!

shoeshopper

oh sweetie please try not to be so upset, it is hard when AF arrives and we dont want it to. I have had the same conversation with my husband so many times BUT remeber you will get your BFP.
enjoy your self with your husband try not to be too focused on the right time to bd because you know being relaxed helps too!
take care i ahve pm'd you as there is something else to add but dont want to on here!

Annaspanna

Dont stress too much honey, we can all empathise with you. I am on my third month TTC and the stress did get to me the other day when I knew we should be DTD but we just couldn't. But I think everything happens when it is supposed to. Me and DH had a talk and i got upset, but feel much better now that we are both on the same wave length. It is so hard not to think about it when its the one thing you want more than anything, but try to focus on your relationship and that can only bring you closer, and hopefully result in you BFP.
Hope your ok,
Love Anna xx

Omi

Hun, i can only second what everyone else have said. Try (i know, not easy as you've waited so long to get here) but try if you can not to get tooo crazy about ttc as what you've experienced is perfectly normal- the dissapointment at not being pg, and not getting pg your first month of ttc. As far as your oh..well, thats normal too.

Most men dont go through the emotional rollercoaster we do with all our hormones etc. Also most also think its gonna be really easy getting pg- playing on feelings of being 'macho' and having 'supersperm' etc, lol!

Reality is that even for a healthy young couple it can take som time..and with time most guys become aware of this and will change their attitude, becoming more eager and understanding. Mine's really eager now and when i get af he always tells me how will nail the bfp next month,etc etc He wasnt like that in the beginning, i can tell you!

My best advice to you would be

1) to hope for the best but expect the worst
2) try something new each month so as to not feeling ttc is running you but that you are proactively running ttc (i know you've already been very good at that but it helps, trust me )
3) Talk to your oh about how you're feeling. Being open about and discussing how you both feel greatly helps any stress of ttc and makes you feel better about eachother as a couple. I cannot stress this enough!!!
4) Be kind to yourself and eachother..so it didnt work this month- next month is just as good a month and who knows- you might get lucky!!
5) when af comes , have a glass of wine or a nice meal together. draw up a plan of action for next month (I print out a bd plan (from mymonthlycycles.com) and stick it on the fridge! Lol!!)

Dont be despondent honey..it will happen for you and i hope its very very soon!! Until then try to remember you are more likely than most to get pg - and your moment will come!!!

Big , Omi xxx

cheeselover

Well said Omi!
Good luck for next month XXX

todteach

Big hun.

Chris77

Feel better hun.

snowbrdbella8

Hey hun ... I haven't been on the boards since yest... Because well to be honest same thing happened to me.. All the signs, High temps, High Cervix, nausea, AF was 5 days late... Everyone thought i was BFP, was my first month TTC and yest AF came, and i cried all day, just wanted answers, and my fiance was like we will try again, and im like u dont understand.. i didnt wanna talk, i didnt want people telling me i was ok, because im still not ok.. My hearts broken.. I am just going to try everything again, pre seed, temps, CP, OPK, my ov watch, my moniter, and just try my best, but my fiance is in cali for 2 months, soooo i dont know how this is going to work.. but i dont know.. good luck hun.. and if u need to talk just message me k hun