hayz1981

I find it hard. One of my best friends keeps asking when we're going to start trying and I keep making up reasons. It's hard because I love her and want to tell her in some ways, but I just think I will feel under added pressure, and I don't want to keep being asked about TTC. In some weird way it makes me feel like more of a failure if people know. But I do hate lying to friends and it just gets harder.

I told one of my close friends and really regretted it. She's lovely but just always asks me things, when I'd rather she didnt - if I wanted to talk about it, I would bring it up. The other night we went out and she bought me a drink and I said oh just a soft drink. And she said, oh is there any reason I should know about why you're not drinking?, all kind of nudge nudge. And I was like, no, but thanks for reminding me of that! She means well but it makes me feel horrible.

And that is why I'm not telling any more friends until I get my !!!

xxx

AppleSeed

In the same boat as you. Really sucks actually. I didn't even go to work today - feeling that blah today. And then in return that will probably make things worse at work - more fuel for them to ask questions. Been married for 2 years now - so the questions are thick! Very thankful for this forum these days. Take care.

Loo

I feel the same. A few of my friends know cos they know about my mc. I think that makes them very good at not asking, cos it wasnt good news last time if you know what I mean. Its made them (and me) more cautious with celebrations.

I've stopped denying things now and just say a 'to the point' answer that doesnt invite further questionning. Something like "Yes we'd love to have kids one day.." or even "I'd love to have kids, but things dont always go to plan.."

These are risky!! as they may well ask more questions...but ive been lucky and its shut them up completely.

TrixieLox

Think of it this way hon - I told loads of people at work when I was drunk one night a few months ago, and now they all know we're TTCing so feel even more pressure. If I've put a bit of weight on, they look at my belly and wink. If my bbs are particularly big, they smile knowingly. If I say I feel like crap, they say 'ooooo, any news?'. Each time, rubbing it in that there IS no news And now it's been a few months, they look at me sympathetically whenever someone else announces they're pregnant.

So honest hon, it's better your way. A coupla your friends know and you have us here. It's far worse when almost e'one u work with knows cos of one drunkern night. x

Lazy Leo

hey there, I am so sorry that you are so down about all of this. First and foremost never mind everyone else, you obviously need some serious TLC. Hopefully everyone at BnB can give you that.

I am so sad that you are unhappy enough that people think your relationship is in trouble. I know what you mean though, it's coming up to my birthday and lots of people have been asking my hubby what to get me and I kee saying to him, there's nothing I need /want.... just a baba. And no-one can buy me one of those.

Is there anything you can do to feel a bit more pro-active and positive about ttc? I know when I started on a health kick (an excuse to buy a wii-fit actually!) and got some reflexology it really made me feel positive and a bit more in control of it all.

As for what you can tell people, I'm not too sure. Tell them you are having some medical issues which you don't want to go into in any further detail?

Huge hun xxx

Loo

The other option is to be quite honest with those friends that know and that you wish didn't. Just say to them...

"I don't mean to sound rude, but when you ooo/ahh/wink/nudge (fill in with most annoying habit) etc it makes it worse/morepainful/reminds me of my ttc problems (again fill in for you)etc etc and I would rather you tried not to do that. If I have any news I will tell you and I promise you'll be one of the first to know."

One of my friends was a bit uber protective after my mc and phoned all the time and in the end I asked her just to lay off a bit and promised I would phone her if I needed to chat. She was fine about it and understood what I was trying to say. She just wanted whatever was best for me.

I am sorry you are feeling so down at the moment. Big hugs x

jems30

just wanted to wish you luck with your work peeps . im one of them that have been honnist with the team i work with but as we are a group of nurses in mental health i think its a bit diffrent as they are all very understanding and try there very best to understand my raging moods when on the clomid and other wonderfull things

xx

celine

Yes I just experienced that very annoyance today.

I try to tell them that I need to focus on getting a job first and we need to move into our new place before thinking about it...truth is there is a 'spare'room which would make the best baby room How I wish I had a baby to put in there