butterflies

I am back girls, missed you all,
However i am going to try and spend less time on here than before, but the few days break has done me a bit of good.

I'm back sooner than i thought because i really could do with some ttc support.
Its been almost a year for us ttc and DH's god daughter is due any day now, and yes i'm excited but not nearly as excited as he is. He is so excited that there is going to be a baby that is going to be a proper part of his life, whilst i'm just waiting for our friends baby to be born.

The whole ttc thing is breaking me, the finally caught up with me the other day and pmt and hormones are rife!!!!!
I really thought i stood a chance and bang its over.
I'm still waiting to get my referral letter and still waiting for DH to make the effort and do his semen test which he just seems to push aside and ignore.

I tried to have a heart to heart with him earlier and all he said was "where has this all come from, see this is why we can't see our friends anymore, because they're having babies and you can't deal with it and your emotions" that HURT!!!!!!!!!!!! I've not spoken to him since, and the silence hurts more, to the point that i just want to walk out the house for a bit.
I am so in love with him and all i want is for a baby to complete us, i just don't think he feels this strongly any more, although he used to be as excited as me.

Re his comment about our friends the reality is they're spending more time with other expectant friends or friends that already have a LO because they have more in common with them than us now.

I'm sorry this is one long rant but i am hurting so much right now, added to the fact that my best friend has asked me to be bridesmaid next august and reality is, we'll have to take a small TTC break if i don't fall soon because it doesn't seem fair to play such a big part in her day while it be possible that i go into labour at any moment!!!! That however was my decision but i hate the idea of a break, but i will not let my friend down as it will be an honour to be her bridesmaid!!!!

Farie

oh honey, we all have bad days/weeks and sometimes our OH's just cannot find the right words and just make it worse.
I was really cut up last month when AF turned up 3 days late and after a mass of really promising seeming symptoms
Don't worry about the bridesmaid/wedding thing for the time being just focus on giving yourself some 'me' time, get your DH to give you a hug and may be try to explain to him that you do like seeing your friends, but it's hard when your mutual interests are moving apart as they have LO but you don't, and while you desperately want one spending loads of time around babies and new mothers is not exactly uplifting ... particularly if they all got pg really easily
As in the case of all my friends ... I get fed up of the ... "ohh it was such a surprise to find out I was pg .. I wasn't expecting it at all"
Argghh .. shut up! Its taking me over 9 months so I'm not interested in your 'it was so quick' stories
sweetie, we are all here for you

celine

Im so sorry you are going thru all this *hug* hope you feel better soon hun

butterflies

its all just a bit too much to deal with right now, if i could break it all down and deal with it bit by bit then that would be so much easier but its just humanly impossible.

Still not talking to DH, he is trying to make small talk and i just don't care for it tonight!!!!!!!!!!!

butterflies

I know exactly how you feel there.
Its getting harder and harder to talk to him so sometimes its easier that it just gets ignored, and thats hard but not as hard as the feeling i feel now after trying to talk about it..........would love a hug, but right now i don't want him that close to me, marriage is supposed to be about supporting each other isn't it???

Suzanne

Hun this may sound completely crazy but it really works for me so I thought I would share with you...

Can you write your DH a letter? Its hard when your not talking to eachother to break that silence but to even bring this subject up again may cause more grief, I know its hard I know it must hurt to hear what he is saying but you know what men are like they find it hard to talk about emotions!

Maybe you can write everything down about how your feeling! You dont even have to give him the letter but I always find that writing it down makes it appear alot clearer in your head!

But if you do give it to him and he reads it, it might hit home to him how important this is to you!

Worth a shot? Or am I talking complete rubbish?

polo_princess

tansey

Sorry you're going through this! Suzanne's suggestion sounds like a good idea. xx

celine

I like the letter idea too

littlestar

The letter idea is good, If I have any gripes with my DH I always send him an email.
I avoid strong confrontation which neither of us are good at, it also reduces the need to garbled, rushed, snappy responses when questioned.

By writing you can silently pass across the emotions and set out clearly how your feeling and how things are affected with as much detail you can which ensures he gets the complete message. It should be enough for him to understand you a bit more.

Men can be insensitive, and say things which can hurt us, they don't think about the things they're going to say before they say it, but if you don't tell him how your feeling, the bottleing up of all these fellings will just create tension and you need to relax when your TTC.