Coffee

Aww hun

Hope you get everything sorted. Men! Pah! Do you think he is reacting like this because maybe its affecting him more than he's letting on? My DH would tell me i'm over reacting and obsessing too much all the time, and it would really drive me mad! After a long chat one day i realised he was saying it as he thought it might help (in his own misguided weird man way!)!! Men just don't get hormones do they? I can cry when i am hormonal and it means nothing to me. DH sees me crying and thinks i'm about to flip out or have a mental break down or something!! Turns out DH was just as worried and upset about TTC as i was BUT he was hiding it and saying i was over reacting and needed to chill out as he was worried about seeing me crying and didnt want to make things worse. He thought if he played it all down a bit then it might help me (silly fool obviously didnt realise he was only making things worse as last thing you want is to feel like a silly hysterical woman!!).

With regards the friends and their babies comment.... hmmm.... that's not nice at all. I think sometimes this is where men and women differ. I can feel very down after seeing my friends and their babies. It just makes you see everything you are missing. It can be very draining. Men though.... they just seem on a different planet where this is concerned to me - it's like it's their own natural child that they long for, and other people's kids don't really affect them? Maybe i'm wrong? I don't know, but i don't think they react the same way we do. Maybe some of the male members can help with this one??!!

You'll get it sorted though hun, don't worry. It will 'all come out in the wash' as they say! Sometimes you just need a few days to calm down, reflect on what's been said and think about how you feel. Sometimes something like this can be a good thing as it innevitably means that at some point in the near future you will have a good old heart to heart and get to the bottom of it all.

wishing4ababy

I know how feeling like a failure feels hun and it is a horrible place to be.....i feel like that all over again now we are trying for #3. Please don't feel like that though - it will happen for you I promise. for some of us it just takes longer to conceive the perfect baby.
As for having the cup for all that time - i know exactly how annoying that is. It was in our kitchen for ages - until he finally rang me one day when i was working from home and said I'm on my way home - will you be able to run up to the hospital with my sample. I was like "WTF! Where has that come? and of course i will". I agree with what Coffee said about it affecting men differently. He was telling someone about it not very long ago and he was telling them how upsetting it was and how worried he was that it would never happen for us. He NEVER spoke to me about it - he listened to me and eventually took note of what I was saying but not once did he say he was upset. I think that they think (in their own "male" misguided way) that they don't want to add to our worry and they don't want to admit that there is a problem. Talk to him hun - tell him everything that you are feeling. You need to be in this together and he needs to support you through it all.
I hope you can get it sorted - and don't give up or lose hope.

Farie

hope you feeling a little better sweetie

butterflies

you all have some fantastic points, and i hear it all! You're all so right about the Men being men and just not getting it thing, but why does it have to be so hard to communicate with them? xx

Munchkin

for you hun!

shmoo75

Its because if they dont talk about it it will either go away or, be ok in the end!!!!! They just don't understand we need to know how they feel and, that they too want a baby just as much as we do! They just automatically think nothing could be wrong with them or us and it will happen when it happens!!! It is sooooooo true men are from mars and women are from venus!!!!!!! I am sorry that you are going through this with your OH maybe once this wedding is out of the way you can have a good heart to heart and clear the air tomorrow? to you

Schmelly

My heart went out to you wen I read your post.

I agree with the letter idea. I usually decide after I have written a letter if I actually want to give it or not. Sometimes just writing it is enough to clear your thoughts and help you decide what to do. Sometimes, though, there are things which need to be said, and things the men in our lives need to be made aware of.

As for the 'pot'............I decided to go into graphic detail with my DH about cervical smears, swabs, etc (and even exaggerated a bit ), just to make him realise that the tests women face can be far more unpleasant and invasive. He ended up squirming and pleading me to stop It did the trick and he accepted that his effort was much easier (if a little embarrassing). Can't you offer to give him a helping hand?

Good luck whatever you decide. I really hope things start to improve soon.

diva4180

I agree, the letter idea sosunds pretty good. I'm crap at communicating with words, whatever I say always comes out completely wrong and I mess things up further, but when I take the time to write it out before we discuss whatever issue we might be having, it's easier for me to put into words exactly how I feel, without me getting frustrated that what I'm saying isn't coming out right and ending up yelling. Much MUCH to you sweetie!!

butterflies

I get frustrated too and end up yelling if i'm not saying what i wanted to say!!!!! You are so not alone on that one!!!!!!!

wishing4ababy

are you feeling any better hun?