butterflies

No not crazy a very good idea, i think i'll write one, but i'm not sure i can give it to him, i feel so mixed up at the moment.
Not another word of it got mentioned last night, and i went to bed hurting, he cuddled me and kissed the back of my head and said "goodnight sweetheart, i love you so much" but being the cow i am i just ignored him. Feel bad for that now, but whats done is done.

I'm at work today and my head is about a million miles from here, knowing we cant talk about it tonight either as we're going to a wedding.

krissi

You have just been through the cycle from hell so don't feel bad at all hun x

Sometimes a few days without talking about it can be a good thing as it stops the conversation being too emotional and enables you both to talk it through rationally. Go out at lunch and treat yourself to something small and it will get you though the morning having something to look forward to xx

butterflies

Very true, and it has been hell too.

Wish i could go out at lunch but i only get 30 mins and its barely enough time for a coffee and food!!!
Like the idea though and i've been working heaps of overtime recently and haven't had a day off in the week for ages, so not had chance to get my nails done, which i love and my fingers are looking so tatty, i hate it!!! I'm going to get them done tomorrow, if i get nothing else done at least i'll have my nice hands back. That can be my treat!

krissi

Good for you xx

wishing4ababy

hun i know exactly how you are feeling. I went through the exact same thing when we were trying for ds. it took oh 8 months to go and get his sperm tested he just put it off and put it off. I was in bits - constantly going for tests and all he had to do was do his stuff in a bloody cup! i just couldn't understand why he wouldn't do it. It took me to break down one day when af showed up AGAIN - i don't think he was prepared for finding me slumped in the bathroom crying my eyes out. I wouldn't go near him and eventually he came and held me whilst i cried and told him how the whole TTC thing was making me feel - and also how he was making me feel by not doing anything about it. It finally registered and he went and had them tested. Emotions are rife aren't they when af has just arrived and shattered our dreams again hun - it is always the hardest time of the month for me too. I think the idea of writing him a letter is a great idea. he will have to read it. I know my oh wouldn't go for the tests because he was frightened. They are all just little boys when it comes to stuff like that and they need to be told (guided i like to call it!!) when and how to do stuff.
I really hope you get your soon hun. take care. xx

buffycat

ouch, that comment would really have hurt me too....really insensitive of him to be honest...

maybe he is struggling too though...especially if he feels the need to fill his void by doting on his godchild.....i've noticed that i've been doing more of that...

and as for friends getting pregnant quickly.....ggrrr my friend told me that my godson only took 5 months, and the one that is due next month was 3 months...

it's difficult, it really is, but please stick with it.....and some days will be harder than others in terms of emotions too....

butterflies

wow, i know exactly how all that feels, trouble is i feel that he thinks i'm obsessed and over reacting to it all. I feel like a complete failure!!!
Test after test for me and he has had that sperm pot for about 2 months now, i've just let it be for so long and last night after the comment i just burst!!!

butterflies

Just makes me very bitter and i am just not a bitter person! He will soon have his god daughter to dote on yes, but i'm still stuck with a huge void, if he can fill his that way, great but i can't

How can he claim to be excited about having his own, put no real effort in and then get overly excited about the impending birth of his god child??????

Lu28

Oh honey I'm so sorry you're having such a horrible time at the moment. You have just had such an awful cycle and AF being around is the worst time of the cycle. That said, it sounds like he's doing that typical male thing of not engaging his brain before opening his mouth, I'd say all our OH's are guilty at one time or another! It's true with your friends with babies now, their lives are just going in a different direction and alot of the time it's due to them that they don't see you as much, not down to you and your OH should realise this.

Maybe you'll get a chance for a quick chat on the way to the wedding, just to let him know how you're feeling and that you need an indepth conversation tomorrow. I think the letter is a great idea too, even if you never send it. It's something I"ve done a few times when people have hurt me, I find it helps to sort my head out and really focus on what I need to talk to them about even if I never give the letter to them.

So sorry you're feeling awful hon, I'm thinking of you.

Huge

butterflies

men eh????? can be so useless at times!
I don't think chatting on the way to the wedding is a good idea, i HATE the bride with a passion (as some of you may remember the wedding back in june with some of his ex's there.....well she is one of them!) only going for groom!

Probably end up in a huge row and make life harder! I'll cook dinner on tuesday as its my day off and perhaps chat then i think.........hopefully