CloudyDay

Hi ladies,

You were all so wonderful and supportive when I needed hope (I need hope! Please reply if you TTCd more than 6 months then got a BFP!). Thanks to all your caring words I really do have a renewed faith that I will get my one day. So, when AF came today I handled the disappointment much better. I didn't feel angry or bawl my eyes out this time. Just moped for a bit, then picked myself up and I'm ready for this new cycle - my eighth month of TTC.

After reading your stories in my "I need hope" thread, I'm inspired to TTC in a much more relaxed fashion this cycle, but I don't know how to let go. I'm in this for the long haul but, now, how do I relax??? Up until this cycle, I've been doing as much as I can, without spending gobs of money or time, to increase my chances of getting P. Some of the things I've been doing on a regular basis each cycle:

• temping on a daily basis
• tracking CM several times a day
• using temps and CM to predict Ov
• taking my prenatals daily
• timing BD to begin around 5 days before Ov and at least one more session after Ov
• making sure I also get an "O" (sorry tmi) after DH has his "O"
• keeping my bum raised for 1/2 hour after BD
• making sure DH wears boxers every day during the BD periods of time

Phew! I am tired of going about TTC in such a calculated fashion. DH and I really need a break from it. Temping and tracking CM are fun and not a burden to me, and taking the prenatals with my dinner isn't a bother either... but I've always found timing BD and getting in plenty of BD sessions very stressful and my least favourite part of TTC. I'd really like to relax and BD less or just when we feel like it BUT...

I'm finding it so hard to just let go and go with the flow. I just can't stand the fact that I may be decreasing my chances of getting P if I don't time BD well or if we don't try to BD frequently.

What to do, ladies??

ktsl123

Hello,

I just wanted to tell you that I am getting afraid of the same thing as you. I mean I am really thinking stress must have a huge effect on a women's body. I think it really must mess with the hormones. I mean so many babies are born on accident like nothing! Why does it seem like the ones that actually try are the ones that take awhile. I was talking to a lot of women in my family and come to find out almost all the people in my family were accidents lol!!!
I thought it was just wild when my gma told me her 10 pregnancies were all unplanned! I couldn't believe that when she told me! The thing is they are all close in age. I just really think it is just a great idea to find another focus in your life while your trying to conceive. That way you can ease the stress a lot. You need to set your mind at ease.

AppleSeed

I have to laugh as well. I spend 13 years trying NOT to get pregnant - and now all I want to do is nail it on the head and get a and yes - seems like people are getting pregnant left and right and its a "oops" - and yet here we are worrying about boxers and elevating our hips after - ha. It is SO stressful trying to get the right day to have - and arghhh is all that I can say. Not sure what I would do without this forum really. My husband couldn't handle all my worries - good thing you guys listen to all of it, haha.

yaya

Hi Cloudy

I'm totally with you hun! I've been through a similar process myself & am still trying to take it easy on all of this stuff -- like you though, I do still want a baba!

So I have decided to still temp daily (I'm like you in that I don't find it an issue) and I also check my cm (far less of the time though - once/twice a day only). I've stopped checking cervical position and absolutely refuse to do the bum-in-air thing after sex! As for the bd-ing -- which is the most tricky part of all really -- I have sort of just decided to try and go with the flow -- luckily I normally get an increased libido for a couple of days before ov anyway, so I try and listen to my body and initiate sex then. I am not one for all-out-bd-marathons so try (ideally) for once every two days in the days leading up to ov. If it doesn't happen like that I try not to get upset. There is always another chance the following cycle after all!

The biggest thing for me is to try and change my mindset away from the idea that -- "it has to be this cycle". I found it was that frame of mind that was really getting to me and making me become quite desperate at times.

I also try and take breaks from BnB at certain times of the cycle & focus on other things in my life.

Hope that helps a bit hunnie -- not least in knowing that you are not the only one going through this!



Yaya xxx

molly83

after huge strain on my marraige we have decided to have sex for fun again. no charting or timing . i said to my self the other day " why did i get pregnant twice at the drop of a hat"? i know now i didnt track my fertility once we just had loads of sex and enjoyed our selves. so forget about it all totally let your self relax have lots of sex because you want to not cos you need to and watch for the soon!.

after all i only had sex once the month i got pregnant with my daughter .

lots of

tansey

DF said sex has to be enjoyed so we are making sure we don't over it and i'm only using my CBFM and folic acid.
xx

Loo

I've got pregnant straight away last time, and we weren't really trying, so actually didn't have sex much at all around the right time. But it worked!! So dont panic if you miss a bit here and there, the body is amazing.

As sods law dictates, now I am trying properly, nothing is happening! So now I too am trying to sit back and bit and relax, as being a 'perfect TTCer' isnt doing much good!

Chris77

Hi Cloudy - I just wanted to spread lots of in your journa. I really hope this is your month for a

Farie

Hey chick, DF and i have been TTC 9 months now and I am trying very hard to chill back about it all. I'm using a CBFM and pre-seed (cos I don't get a lot of EWCM) and I take the vits etc.
I try to take time to just enjoy DF and his company, try to get on with life and not make exceptions 'because we are TTC', there is nothing wrong with having a break, I have found that 99% of the time women's libido increases round O so you'll likely BD around the right time anyway.
As appleseed said, we spend ages obsessing about NOT getting preg and now we are obsessing about getting preg
we all find it hard as time passed with no but we have our OH's and we try to retain some of our sanity!

Snowdrop

I'm not sure I know the answer to your question, I've been getting a bit stressed about it all recently and am hoping to try a more relaxed approach myself.

At the moment I'm only temping and CBFM, and I take daily prenatals and often have grapefruit juice, none of which I find a trial so I will keep doing.

This month my aim is to try and keep busy with other things. I'm in a new job so that's keeping me fairly occupied. I'm thinking about doing a home-learning or evening course, I'm planning a holiday and also trying to re-discover some hobbies that I've been neglecting for a while. (Wow! now I've written it all down is there going to be any time left for TTC?!)

I'm also going to try and have some breaks from BnB. It's really great here but also good to escape from time to time and remember I have a life outside TTC and BnB.

Like Yaya I often find myself feeling that -- "it has to be this cycle". I work out when my due date would be and convince myself that it's all perfect so it has to be and if I wish hard enough surely it will happen. I'd love to know how to get away from this and just go with the flow and 'what will be will be' but it's not easy to do. I'm just hoping that keeping busy will do the trick.

Thanks for posting the question, it's interesting to see other people's suggestions. I hope you work out the best approach for you.