Hi all,

in a serious effort not to get carried away with my "symptoms" I have turned my attention to next cycle. And I'm slightly worried. Hubby and I haven't had sex since I ovulated this time, it's been a tiring week what with my nan passing away and all. But see, it's not unusual for us to go long periods without. We have evening commitments and both work, so finding time when we are both awake and up for it can be difficult.

It worked out alright this month because DH was off work that week and I only work afternoons, so we had long lie ins together in the mornings

I don't want BDing to be a chore, something we *have* to do, because that just won't work for us.

Weekend mornings are a good time, if we're not doing anything that requires getting out of bed early! But ov doesn't always work out that way. Although I do have a regular 28 day cycle and reckon I ov on a Saturday most months, but that doesn't allow for BDing in the run up to ov.

How do you ladies find the time and how do you avoid it being a chore?

My OH and I always make time in the evenings just before we go to sleep. If we wake up early we have another go. We set the alarm clock 30 mins earlier so we get more time and it doesn't feel rushed or clinical. I never see it has something I have to do, we call it practise to try and keep it light as I did worry that we could end up feeling like machines.

Try both having a nice bath before you go to bed and then make that the time when you are both relaxed.

So sorry to hear about your nan hun x

Sorry to hear about your Nan. xx

We're having the same kind of problem with the BDing. We end up doing it even though we're really tired and even though it's still nice, it's not the same as being spontaneous and really being in the mood. We already get up between 5.30am and 6.00 for work so we're really not up for mornings in the week.

This morning we agreed we'd start going to bed an hour earlier (not necessarily every night) and making it more of the evening's event!!, rather than what we do once our evening is over - if that make sense. For us it's definitely the tiredness we need to overcome so I'm hoping this will work for us.

xx

Tough one for us. We're like you. It didn't used to be unusual for us to go ages without it. I teach, and do private tuition on weekday evenings, so I'm hardly at home during the week. DH is a nurse and works NHS shifts. He does usually have Sunday off, but the rest of the time is unpredicatable. We can literally have days when we hardly see each other. It's made TTC really tough. My cycles are not regular, but sods law I nearly always ovulate midweek or late in the week (I use OPKs to be sure). I must admit that BDing never seems like a chore to me, however tired I am, but DH finds it a real chore when he's been working. He sometimes gets in at 11pm and has to be up again at 5.30 the next morning. There's been a few rows when I've tried to get him to BD on these occasions!! He also does not like the OPK thing, and says it's a turn off when I tell him he has to perform as I've had a positive OPK.
When I got my BFP in May it was because he'd had a few days off in the week, and we'd managed to time it just right. I'm concerned that we'll never get another one just BDing on a Sunday, unless my body decided to OV on a Monday sometime soon.
Sorry for the rant, and sorry I don't really have any answers, just sympathy for your situation.
What I have done this month (I'm due AF but 99% sure I'm not PG this month) is asked DH to let me know his shifts for July. I've worked out for next cycle when all the possible BD occasions are. Luckily my term ends before I'm due to OV, so I will be at home all the time to fit around his shifts. I'm hoping for a BFP over the summer break!
Good luck and let me know if you get any solutions please.
xxxx

Thanks for the replies. I'm glad I'm not the only one with this sort of situation.

I like the idea of going to bed early and making an "event" out of it. That's worked for us in the past.

Good luck to us all!

to be honest sometimes for me it is a chore,as i have a low sex drive.

But I am obviously really trying to boost it, i dont want to be this way.

We find times in the evenings, as we get home at 6pm at the latest, try not to worry too much about it hun because it will stress you out
xxx

I'm in a similar situation - I'm due to ovulate around now and as we hadn't BD Sunday I think we both kinda felt that we "had to" last night and as a result it didn't work and DH couldn't finish the job so to speak! He works as a floor-layer so even though the hours aren't long its a very physical job so he's usually exhausted by the time we get to bed and mornings really don't work for us as DH usually gets up at half 6 and goes for a run and my 3 year old gets up anytime between 6 and 7!!!
It is very difficult and I really wish I knew wot to do to make it less of a chore - think I might have to go visit Ann Summers!!!!!

im not really a big fan tho when i start it i enjoy it , its just getting in the mood i find hard. I have been getting :sex mybe 2/3 a week but i will admit thats all i want

Yeah, I have a low sex drive too, hays. There's nothing like wanting a LO to motivate me though. But still, if I'm not in the mood, I'm not in the mood, you know.

But I think making sure the love is there and that it isn't *just* about ttc is very important. That's part of why I'm trying not to get too obsessed with charts and temping etc. I don't want this to become too clinical, or it will only put me off BDing!

I have a low sex drive so I find variety the key. Like I say have a bath together or a special meal, anything to spice it up. Very difficult when there is little time but lets face it our main aim is to have a little one and if that means I have to BD like a rabbit for 5 days a month then bring it on!! Aim to tire him out in those 5 days and then you get 3 weeks off!!!