genkigemini

I just want the to show. I hate this waiting. I finally told DH today that I am more panicked about having to take progesterone tabs again than anything else. I seriously can not explain to you how emotionally unstable they made me feel. I know that we will try a different pill than Provera to see if that helps but they are just terrible!!!

Even though I know there is a small chance for a , I am just so scared of the . Not so much because I will be crushed of not getting pregnant on the first go of Clomid but because I have to start ALL OVER AGAIN at square one.

It is so unfair! I keep hearing and seeing fucked up people getting pregnant every day and I see how the state is talking about taking my sisters children away again and I just wonder why! Growing up, I was always the little girl with the baby dolls saying that I was going to be a young mother. I was the one who knew what I wanted from the start. I am the one who is happily married. We are the ones who will take care of our kid WITHOUT STATE HELP! I want nothing more right now then to punch my sister and 2 of my crew members in the face. I want to scream at God but obviously that is not possible.

Like I said... this isn't even so much about a . I just want SOMETHING and it never happens for 9 and a half fucking years I get nothing.

Once again someone went up to my husband last night at work when they were talking and was like, "You have been married HOW LONG and you STILL don't have kids?!" He got really upset and walked away so his friend had to explain to her why it was so rude. He was still bothered by it this morning in the car and you could tell.

I feel so terrible. Everything with him works fine and I can not help but know that if he married someone else he would probably have a herd of kids right now but he doesn't and when it is all said and done, it is my bodies fault and I hate that so much. He has never been anything but wonderful and supportive through it all but still...

I just really hate this right now...

elmaxie

Awww honey

polo_princess

It wont be long now hun, you know you dont want to show but if she does it wont necessarily be a bad thing. It will mean that the Clomid is getting you regular, and that way you stand more of a chance of getting that

So look at it that way and hopefully it wont seem so bad

genkigemini

I love you, Holly!!!!

Thanks a lot! I think I needed to hear that.

miel

oh darling you having a hard time today we are here for you , you can scream and rant as much as you need to sweetie...

you will be a wonderful mom i know that good luck for this month darling you have a chance still don't give up

porkpie1981

brewanneanan

aww im sorry to hear all of this, but im sure stressing about it could make it worse, if you were to be pregnant im sure all this stressing could cause blood pressure problems....i dunno tbh it's just a guess, but good luck.

saraendepity

don't wanna jump in as i dont really know your story but remember to get to the good times you have to go thru the bad and this will only make your love for your wee one stronger when s/he comes along

you sound like you will make the best mum in the world



xxxx

polo_princess

Theres always a flipside to the secnario and its difficult for you to see it because your so wrapped up in it ...

Thats the way i see it though so whatever happens this cycle hun or the its positive and either a step closer or a step right over the line

lousielou

Hope you're feeling better today hun xx