Tanya

Hello girls

How do you keep the BD sessions alive with all the stress of TTC. My DH seems to always get stage fright when O day and close and then cant perform.... any advice to keep the sex life alive..other days he is fine.. I feel TTC is draining us and we just feel like robots....??

mizzi

maybe not tell him when you ov?
i dont tell my OH when i ov for that reason other wise it just feels false if you know what i mean>?

NikiJJones

I don't have any advice as we're going through the same!!! Just thought I'd let you know you're not alone.
xxxx

Tanya

Thanks for the posts girls!!! At least I know I am not alone....

WILSMUM

My DH and I are having the same problem - he says he feels pressured to perform during my fertile days and that in turns put him off and he ends up with stage fright so we decided to not talk about where I am in my cycle etc to see if that lifts the pressure.

Omi

Ive gone through the same but i dont ever feel like its a chore..but then again if i had too id do it sick, asleep etc..lol!! However, its not an option for the guys.

I finally had to sit him down and said that if he wants a baby (which he does) he's gonna have to do this one thing, seeing as i do EVERYTHING else

I know prepare him way in advance, he'll actually ask now 'which week?' so he's aware of it and can plan accordingly (less work, stress etc.)

Mind you this was only after i had a total meltdown and we had a long chat about it.. I also added the odd time of it not happening is to be expected and that i dont hold it against him..better not to heap anymore stress on the poor guy!

I print out a great calender from mymontlycycles.com (in the whenmybaby.com section, ovulation predictor) which forecasts all days you can bd by the shortest and longest cycles, it inlcudes when to use hpt and everything..i put this up on the fridge and that way he can see for himself!

Apart from that, i dont really have any great ideas, im sorry...we've come to the conclusion it just has to be done..But talking about it helps i found. You're not alone!!

, Omi xxx

HAYS

we struggle too,sometimes we are fine, i dont tend to announce when im ovulating,just so theres no pressure on him,but then i guess all month is pressure on him if ya get me
xx

ashrxxx

I know exactly what you mean hun and i worry sex is becoming all about TTC and thats not right, i even read some place an orgasm after the man comes pushes the sperm up through the cervix better, so i make him give me an orgasim after with his hand (TMI alert haha) but we are all going through this, no need for being bashfull hehe!!

I don't want lovemaking to just be about ttc but it is, so your not alone hun xxx

Tanya

thanks for all the advice... I get so angry cause i do all the temping, testing, checking Cm etc etc and I dont have a problem with BD but he just gets stage fright and then I get so angry and blame him for not wanting a . I feel so mean.... I eventually calm down and become rational again but in the moment I become a and just want to throw in the towel.... I made him feel so bad today as am meant to O between today and friday and he could not do the deed and now he had to go on a business trip till sunday so I may be out unless little spermies live till O day... its just that it happened on O day for the last 3 cycles now and I am starting to get frustrated.. he must just come to the party (excuse the pun) .. sorry for the rant and I do feel like I am acting like a spoilt brat...

Omi

I do that too