butterflies

DH and I have decided to go visit the DR again in the next few weeks to discuss TTC again and we're hoping we don't come up against another brick wall like we did initially.
I'm not hoping for miracles, just a little guidance and maybe a check to see if we're both "fully functioning!" it's all starting to get to me, watching all my nearest and dearest go through pregnancy and cuddle their new borns.

I'm stuck like this at the moment, i've wanted to start my own business for a long time, but knowing that we want a baby so much has made me put it on the back burner for now, thing is i feel like my life is one huge waiting game, and it hurts so much.
We're both still young, but i don't want to look back on my life and regret wasting years, i know that sounds selfish and that because i want a baby nothing else should matter, but i'm still human and i'm still me.
DH & I are stuck in jobs that "get us by" both too scared to make a change now incase i fall PG.
I'm feeling at the moment anyway because is here but all i'd like is a few pointers to help us, instead of us both being so down beat about appearing every time, thinking maybe if....
When i said our jobs "get us by", that sounded bad, they're good jobs, and perfect in a sense for us to have a baby by, but other than that we would both like so much more career wise, neither of us are following our trained professions right now.


Sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant, just needed to clear my chest

Farie

Hope the Dr can help
As for jobs, mine 'pays the bills' but not a lot else ... like you, don't want to move JIC I get my

Beckic

Know exactly how you feel - I have felt like my life has been on hold for the last two years since we have been TTC - dont want to change jobs as need maternity pay and the hours are brilliant, cant replace car as want to buy a family car when the time comes, the 'nursery' in our house has become a junk room that is just waiting for me to have a reason to decorate it, i am a nervous flyer so definitely wouldnt want to fly when pregnant - so only holidays in UK for last two years - I NEED some sunshine.
And whilst I am sitting her waiting and getting more miserable every month that passes - everyone around me seems to fall straight away.

Its crap and bloomin not fair.

My OH and I are going private next motnh to get all our tests done as the NHS are just taking too long.
After that we have promised ourselves that if the tests all come back ok and it is just a waiting game we will give it another 12 months.
After that - we are giving up on waiting and will start living our lives again and look into adoption.

I never thought it would be this hard!!!

Definitly get tests done - there is nothing worse than those what ifs every month AF arrives.

Crossing everything (except my legs) that this is your month hunni.

Bx x x

tansey

Yes, i'm doing a job JIC but seeing as how AF is here again, i have lined up a few interviews for other jobs that I want to do. If i end up PG i'll sort something out there. Can't put everything on hold forever if you're not happy! Good luck at docs! xx

Faerie

Hi hun, know exactly how you feel, I've been putting my life on hold for what feels like forever and ever, not not booking trips to see my family (in Australia and Mexico) just in case I fall pregnant and I know I can't travel... and then I don't get pregnant and it makes me mad.
I've just chucked my job in and I'm scared sh*tless, moving back to the UK to study and get different job experience... and I'll just have to deal with anything else that comes up as and when it does.
I've just realised that "I'm still me" and although I want this baby more than anything, at the same time TTC can't rule my life.
Hope you get some answers/guidances at the Drs xxx

butterflies

gosh it helps so much to know its not just me!!!!
Sometimes i think i'm selfish because i still want to live, and then i realise i'm still a person, and if i cease to be one then all i'm surely doing is risking my marriage.
This becomes such a huge part of your life that it can be so close to taking over, but i'm determined not to let it!

Once we've spoken to the Dr i'm sure i'll feel heaps better and will be able to think past this all a bit better!

Lu28

No, it's not just you hon! I've wanted to start my own business for years and even though my job doesn't give paid maternity leave, I still couldn't take that amount of time out from my own business. So I've decided I'll have to wait til we're finished having kids and then work around them but can't give birth and be worrying about what's happening in the business!

I've felt really guilty about all of this because once I made the decision about what business I wanted, it kick started me wanting to ttc properly so I could get the clock ticking! So selfish but we are still ourselves and we do have our own goals and there's nothing wrong with that.

butterflies

I Currently work a 40 hour week, in an extremely boring job, and i mean boring, its got quieter over the past few months and it just makes it worse, i only stay cos the other staff are cool and i know i'm entitled to maternity leave.
To be honest though its only our 8th month of trying, i'm starting to get really down about it all, i don't like my job but know for stabilitys sake i need to stay.
It hurts me that DH has really begun to hate his job recently but again stays because of the stability for not only our future baby but our house & because he will need time off soon for his operation.

TTC is so much harder and more stressful than i ever thought and we're not even "trying" that hard, i can't help but wonder if it would make it easier or even harder by trying harder.

I'm even starting to think maybe i need a break from this site, even though its been a wonderful font of knowledge and comfort, and i feel i've made some lovely friends in just a few weeks, i also wonder if its puttimg more pressure on me?!?