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May 2nd, 2008, 19:28 PM
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#1 | | Just DH & I Active BnB member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: UK
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| Opinions Please Girls.....my and DH have decided to up the pace a little from just BDing and hoping for the best to, OPK's and temping.
Just wondering how your DH's & OH's see this all? When we began trying we both knew that its what we wanted and both said that we wouldn't get too involved and obsessed. Now 7 months later i'm getting more and more desperate for a little one, especially since so many friends have become PG since then.
I'm worried that my DH may see it that every time we BD that thats the only reason for it, and i'm paranoid about it. I need and want him to know that we BD because i love him and i enjoy it.
He knew this before TTC, but i still worry!!! I know he wants a baby too, and he knows that it takes some work. I just don't want BD to become just that!!!!
If you don't mind me asking, have any of you had trouble with this or is DH/OH happy to just be getting it and it meaning more????
I'm confused and just don't want to upset DH in all of this...... | | | | Status: Offline
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May 2nd, 2008, 19:30 PM
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#2 | | Proud mother of 2 cats :) BabyandBump Team Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Toronto, ON
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I'm Currently Feeling: | I never did OPK's temping etc. My DH was always happy to get more (we did it every other day for the first couple of months). But I have read of some girls whose hubbys felt that they were being used only to make babies. My advice is that if you want to temp/chart etc. to go ahead and do it but don't involve hubby unless he seems to want to know, some men get turned off by the information.
Good luck  | | | | Status: Offline
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May 2nd, 2008, 19:37 PM
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#3 | | Just DH & I Active BnB member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: UK
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| This is exactly what i'm worried about  , i want a bub soooo much, as does DH, i just need him to know that i'm not just using him.
He handles things much better than me, and doesn't show 2 much emotion to it, though he makes it clear he wants a baby ( i think he worries it will add pressure if he talks to me about it.....make sense?)
Last thing i want is him feeling used as some kind of "machine", and no matter how much i re-assure him, i'll still worry....catch 22, as worrying doesn't help hey?
He hasn't said anything to make me feel this way.....i'm just worried....  | | | | Status: Offline
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May 2nd, 2008, 19:40 PM
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#4 | | Married to an amazing guy BabyandBump Team Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: San Francisco, CA USA
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I'm Currently Feeling: | i am on my 7 th month as well but my husband now is more than determinate than ever ...i think he really believed we will had our BFP by now ...so now he is the one who is looking at my calender every morning to see when i will "O" ...
good luck to you   | | | | Status: Offline
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May 2nd, 2008, 19:47 PM
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#5 | | Trying to conceive (TTC) Chat happy BnB member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Dublin
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I'm Currently Feeling: | Quote:
Originally Posted by butterflies This is exactly what i'm worried about  , i want a bub soooo much, as does DH, i just need him to know that i'm not just using him.
He handles things much better than me, and doesn't show 2 much emotion to it, though he makes it clear he wants a baby ( i think he worries it will add pressure if he talks to me about it.....make sense?)
Last thing i want is him feeling used as some kind of "machine", and no matter how much i re-assure him, i'll still worry....catch 22, as worrying doesn't help hey?
He hasn't said anything to make me feel this way.....i'm just worried....  | It's funny, I've been feeling exactly the same as you! My DH is very calm about the whole thing. I know he really wants a baby, he was ready before i was and I was getting worried that he would think I was obsessed and forcing him into bding for one reason only. That turned into me saying to him one night that it felt like he didn't care about it as much and was leaving me to put all the effort in. Turned out, he didn't feel that way at all and was quite hurt that I thought he wasn't as into it as me!
So now I've shown him how to read the cbfm so he has the same info as me and this month has been much better. Was showing him fertility friend which said I'd ov sooner than I thought and I told him so - his reaction was, who am I going to believe, a computer programme designed for this or you who doesnt really know, we're starting tryingnow!! So definitely been going well this month!
To be honest, having a baby requires effort on both parts and I don't see why we should have to deal with all the stress on our own just because it's our bodies. Having said that, I do keep some of the crazy for b&b and keep it away from hubby!
He does still say he's just a piece of meat to me but honestly I think he likes the idea of it!!!
Hope that helps, it's not just you!  | | | | Status: Offline
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May 2nd, 2008, 20:04 PM
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#6 | | 2nd Tri - Team Pink BabyandBump Mini-Mod Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Hertfordshire
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I'm Currently Feeling: | When i was TTC my OH was obv in the loop but i didnt bog him down with it too much as a feared it might make him feel pressured. So he knew what he needed to know and i left it at that
He used to know i used OPK's and he used to sing "POAS POAS" when i went to the bathroom lol | | | | Status: Offline
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May 2nd, 2008, 20:13 PM
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#7 | | Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Scotland
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I'm Currently Feeling: | My DH has now become more obsessed than me! He never used to be that interested but think he thought it would just happen. Going into cycle #10 he now asks all about the opks which I never thought he would. You really need to support each other as much as possible.  | | | | Status: Online
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May 2nd, 2008, 20:15 PM
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#8 | | Pregnant ~ 1st Trimester Active BnB member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Surrey,UK
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I'm Currently Feeling: | After reading all your replies, I asked my dh what his thoughts were on this subject
he has always been involved with the opk and temping etc, we share the whole journey.
so from a male point of view he says your dh will totally understand what it takes to get pregnant, your in this together but there is only those few days a month that you are fertile, so when your not fertile, try to make time to make bd'ing fun and not about making sure sperm meets egg.
basically instead of sperm being in the right place and the right time make it sperm in the wrong place at the wrong time.
i hope this helps  | | | | Status: Offline
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May 2nd, 2008, 21:11 PM
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#9 | | Just DH & I Active BnB member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: UK
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by Shel After reading all your replies, I asked my dh what his thoughts were on this subject
he has always been involved with the opk and temping etc, we share the whole journey.
so from a male point of view he says your dh will totally understand what it takes to get pregnant, your in this together but there is only those few days a month that you are fertile, so when your not fertile, try to make time to make bd'ing fun and not about making sure sperm meets egg.
basically instead of sperm being in the right place and the right time make it sperm in the wrong place at the wrong time.
i hope this helps  | Wow, thats really sweet of you!!! thanks!!! & lol at the comment of sprem in the wrong place at the wrong time  | | | | Status: Offline
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May 2nd, 2008, 21:19 PM
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#10 | | Just DH & I Active BnB member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: UK
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| I appreciate all replies so far & its helping me.
To be honest, i don't think i have any need to worry, just can't help it anyway!!!!
I know DH does understand and he has seen me both delighted that friends are expecting/given birth and also silently gutted that i'm watching all my nearest and dearest go through what i long for so much.
I guess i'm worried because it seems so.....planned.....formal & maybe clinical.
That said i'm sure if i talk to hm about it all and include him in as much as he wants/feels comfortable with, then we will be fine.
We had a brief chat earlier about it all and he said to me that if  shows up this month, we can go out together and buy the appropriate bits, i also saw some TTC vitamins for both him and her and his face perked right up at that idea......odd man!!!
This re-asssured me abit. He also came in whilst i was on here and said "oh is this your baby forum whasit" and i said yeah thinking he's going to think i'm obsessed!!! He just said " you seem to be getting some good info from there, seems like time well spent". That also reassured me.
I guess i'm just worried for silly reasons, and because i hoped like he did that TTC could be entirely un-aided....but i think if thats the case we may wait forever, and i can't!!!! | | | | Status: Offline
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