you are definately not alone - and i'm so glad all of these girls posted! makes me feel a bit less bad for not wanting it all the time! or hardly ever!

I think that after a long time of not 'doing it' it makes it really hard to get back in the saddle again, but perhaps once you're back in the habit of it (in a nice way) that it will be better?

I have long spells where I am just not interested (personal issue) and it must drive OH mad. But then there are spells where he doesn't want to and I feel so rejected by him - that must be how he feels when i dont want to

ah dear, never thought i'd say any of this....

Phew it's not just me then!!! Thanks for having the guts to post this Nat! I lost my sex drive when i was pg with no1 and had bleeding at 10 wks. The doc advised us not to get jiggy for the next 6-8 weeks. I was so scared about getting more bleeding (although it wasn't caused by sex) we didn't do it throughout my pg. After LO was born she was in our room for 6 months and always seemed to wake up if the sheets started rustling (I was secretly pleased ) When we finally moved her into her own room I had to face the music but had loads of pain. I went to the docs and was told i had candida (thrush) which apparently is common after pg. I had loads of medicaments but it just kept on coming back. I'm totally with you Nat that the psychological thing starts to get you and you just expect it to hurt and be horrible and so it is, because you are tense and stressed before you even start. When I finally (touch wood) got my candida cleared up I burst into tears the next time we sh*gg*d because it didn't hurt and I felt like I was 18 again- it wasn't until then (a year and a bit from the beginning of this saga!!!) that I realised that my sex-drive had been dimmed because of physical things and that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. It's hard to get back into to swing of things, but it definitely does get easier. We bd plenty now, and it's good fun. However, I think the scars of the past still linger, and I never *need* to do do it (except for bd purposes obviously!) It's a bit like a gin and tonic for me - it's nice, but I'm not bothered if I don't have one for a while.

We only did it once last month due to the pain I get, but I am hoping Preseed is my miracle cure...KY etc did nothing for me....I'm hoping as I BD more often that the desire comes back too...it's fine once we are at it, but the beginning part is awful, painful and I tense like anything....bring bak the good old days when we were at it all the time and really enjoyed it!!

Preseed certainly makes it easier especially if you aren't 'that into it' at the start..... you can use it as a warm up! he he he

Having said that we are BD like mad but this month my heart doesn't seem to be in it and last night is the first time it felt like we BD purely for baby's sake and not because we wanted to be together - that kinda sucked!

Well I do have my little BD routine worked out....BUT....to instill the romance...we have a night away right in the middle of it...so that will be fun!!! Hoping me and the love god can finally reconnect back to where we used to be!

That's good - straight after BD last night DH described it as 'nice' and then said that he felt we missed the starter and went straight to main course... he's right, it was pretty awful as it felt like i was doing it purely to get his swimmers!!! i just wanted to sleep!

Bad wifey, think we should have a night off tonight and cuddle up on the sofa - maybe kissing only!!!

i wouldnt say i have a low sex drive, prob far form it but it doesnt help ttc when your husband doesnt want to do it as much as you need to when ttc. but i have told him we can get to a and then he can be free LOL

What's a high sex drive? Every day? Then I don't have one of those! But I can certainly say that it's gotten oodles better with age! The closer I get to 30 the more horny I seem to be. And I can attest that this TTC rutine can sometimes get you more in the mood more often. We've been forced to spice up our sex life to keep up the BDathlons and I'm really happy we did, baby or no baby. PreSeed and the dolphin helped as well

On the other hand we're new -roughly a year- so it's still at the stage where pheromones kick in the second he touches me so I'm fully expecting it to get worse soon LOL.

The dolphin??!!!!

It's along these lines



But not that disgraceful colour. And dang it, it works!