Hi everyone,

Im new around these parts and Ive got a bit of a dilema on my hands at the mo..

Me and my partner myself (21 almost 22) and my partner (18 almost 19) have been together 8months now and have started trying for a baby, now its something that we both want, maybe myself more than him at the moment and that we've spoken about over the past month or so.

Even before things got serious between us he always spoke about wanting children early in his life and to settle down, he doesnt know why really but just something he's always felt was right for him.

Now Ive spoken to a few people about this over the past month. Some people are very happy for us and wish us the best of luck but then a good friend of mine had tried to put me right off of the whole idea for another year or two.

Now I can understand where she is coming from, yes he is young and I may be left holding the baby so to speak and that scares the utter poop out of me, but then I think of growing a bump and holding my child for the first time, seeing them grow ect..

Im now feeling like Im stuck in a very weird place in my mind now and I cant seem to shake those words off.

So Im here to really get some words of wisdom from all you lovely ladys if thats alright?

Oh and one other thing, Im pretty much lost at all the short hand you use in this forum I understand TTC and WTC ect, but the rest I might as well be reading another language lol

Take Care

xxx

Welcome to the forum.

This might help you with the lingo and abbreviations BabyandBump Lingo & Abbreviations

As for the other, only and your partner can decide when is the best time for you to have a baby. If you and he both feel that now is the right time, than I wouldn't let all the nay-sayers get you down or deter you from what you really want

I can tell you that you and your partner are the only ones who can say when the time is right. If you feel in your heart that you want to have this joy in your life, and you can not think of any reason (of importance) to wait then I say go for it and all the best!

baby dust to you and your partner

For me personally I don't think any one can tell you when it's right to TTC except yourself. My Hubby and I started TTC right off the bad after we got Married (perhaps secretly before too) A lot of people told us to wait, but we knew this was what we wanted, and besides I was in my late 20s and knew my time was getting limited for a large family.

And lo and behold - it will be 3 years this sept since we began TTC and we are still to get our first child. It's been a long and heartbreaking journey. I'm so glad we didn't decide to wait on the opinion of others. Because if I was just starting this journey I would be 33 and still trying to sort out what was wrong with me.

So I would go with my feelings hun, if it's what you want then don't let anyone stop you

I see why you might be so confused. It's a big choice to make. On one hand, if this is it, then this is it. Then on the other... what's there? Maybe a pro/con list is in order. I agree that it's a decision that you two need to make together for yourselves. For life changing things like this, my opinion shouldn't matter too much to you. Ya know?
P

I agree with everyone else it is entirley up to you and your partner. My Mother In Law does not know me and DH are trying (none of our family does) She has said at a family do that in a couple of yrs will be right for us. Me and DH are like no I am 33 and DH will be 36 this yr so, we cannot wait another couple of yrs. When we tell her that we are having our little bundle of joy (no idea when that will be as only been TTC 1 cycle) she will have to like it or lump it as, it is our decision when or when not to start. All I will say is make sure it is what you both really want, are you both happy to sacrifice a large portion of your social lives yet ect then go for it or wait entirley up to you both.



Shmoo

Hello!

There are a few good articles on the internet that discuss readiness for having a child - eg. emotional, financial, lifestyle, physical factors to consider. As others have said, you and your partner are the only people who can really tell whether ttc is right for you now. My advice would be that the two of you have a really open and honest conversation about the pro's and con's and how you really feel about it all. If you decide that now is the time then lots of luck to you both If on the other hand you decide to wait a while, you can still be doing research and putting your efforts into getting ready for when you do start trying.

The people on this forum are really lovely and between us we have quite a lot of info to share so if there's anything you want to ask at anytime you know where we are.

Lx

hi am new as well me and my partner have been trying 4 2 years now! am 22 he's 29, people will always have a say on what u want 2 do, its only u 2 who know whats right 4 u both, so good luck and all the best!

hey hun, welcome to the forums. You've seen that most people here think the decision to ttc is a very personal one and one which only you and your OH can take together and I completely agree with that. But, you may hate me for saying this, but the fact that you are asking suggests to me that you aren't quite sure yet. My advice on any big decision that gets you in a quandary is listen hard to your head and your heart. One will speak louder than the other - it may not be much louder but one will be louder. Trust your strongest instinct hun - and good luck for you and OH no matter what you decide xxxxxx

I agree with Nic, if you're asking are you really sure? Although it is a personal choice, I think you are young enough to wait at least a bit to see if your relationship is going to be a long term comittment and that a baby is something you want together at this point in your lives.
Good luck with whatever you decide!