trying to help a friend through an abortion & I TTC

ravenmel · Mar 9th, 2010, 12:13 PM

My OH little sis thinks she might be pregnant and wants to have an abortion, how can I be supportive without feeling terrible inside because we're TTC?

She's only been with her boyfriend for 6 weeks and is studying and so is her boyfriend.They feel that they are not stable enough to have a child. My OH thinks that she is O.K and won't regret it later, I think she might she loves children and even works with them.I get the feeling they think the abortion pill will be quick and easy, but I've had friends who say it's not as easy as the media makes it out to be.

I feel selfish thinking why is she pregnant when she doesn't even want it, but can't help it and she's soo lovely. I need to find a way of keeping my baby wants out of my head when talking to her about her chose.

twinmummy · Mar 9th, 2010, 12:16 PM

I have just been through the same thing in the last couple of weeks with one of my closest friends but thankfully she changed her mind at the last minute. I won't lie to you, it was so difficult to support her yet hide the need for my own child, I actually nearly cried when they scanned her at the clinic. You just need to stay strong and try to detach yourself from what she's doing. I don't envy you one bit.

Be strong x

goddess25 · Mar 9th, 2010, 12:21 PM

I don't envy you either its a tough one.. but you will be fine supporting her through whichever choice she makes. I am sorry you need to go through this, it will be difficult if she decides to go ahead and have one but at least there are sites like this, you can vent on. I feel bad for your OH sister, she sounds so young and i bet she is pretty scared.

jen1604 · Mar 9th, 2010, 12:22 PM

You probably don't know this because you're only new to the forum honey but we're not allowed to discuss abortion (always turns into a heated subject) so this thread will probably be locked

x

ravenmel · Mar 9th, 2010, 12:35 PM

Thanks guys, didn't know we wasn't allowed to talk about this subject.

I wish my OH never told me now and think she shouldn't have told him either because she knows we're TTC so seems a bit cruel or maybe she wants us to convince her to have it. She's one of the only people we told that we're TTC.
She's not a teen just focusing on her career and their relationship is too immature is what she's thinking.

Never mind l'll just have to hold my tongue on this one and try to separate the two things.

Going to scream in to a pillow and then I'll be fine. xxx

trumpetbum · Mar 9th, 2010, 14:17 PM

I think you are being a fantastic sil, supporting her. It must be extremely hard for you and life doesn't seem to have rhyme nor reason when these things happen. I hope everything works out for both of you.

Mar 9th, 2010, 12:13 PM	#1
ravenmel Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: UK Posts: 217	trying to help a friend through an abortion & I TTC My OH little sis thinks she might be pregnant and wants to have an abortion, how can I be supportive without feeling terrible inside because we're TTC? She's only been with her boyfriend for 6 weeks and is studying and so is her boyfriend.They feel that they are not stable enough to have a child. My OH thinks that she is O.K and won't regret it later, I think she might she loves children and even works with them.I get the feeling they think the abortion pill will be quick and easy, but I've had friends who say it's not as easy as the media makes it out to be. I feel selfish thinking why is she pregnant when she doesn't even want it, but can't help it and she's soo lovely. I need to find a way of keeping my baby wants out of my head when talking to her about her chose.

Status: Offline

Mar 9th, 2010, 12:16 PM	#2
twinmummy Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 268	I have just been through the same thing in the last couple of weeks with one of my closest friends but thankfully she changed her mind at the last minute. I won't lie to you, it was so difficult to support her yet hide the need for my own child, I actually nearly cried when they scanned her at the clinic. You just need to stay strong and try to detach yourself from what she's doing. I don't envy you one bit. Be strong x

Status: Offline

Mar 9th, 2010, 12:21 PM	#3
goddess25 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: vancouver Posts: 5,603	I don't envy you either its a tough one.. but you will be fine supporting her through whichever choice she makes. I am sorry you need to go through this, it will be difficult if she decides to go ahead and have one but at least there are sites like this, you can vent on. I feel bad for your OH sister, she sounds so young and i bet she is pretty scared.

Status: Offline

Mar 9th, 2010, 12:22 PM	#4
jen1604 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Devon Posts: 7,504	You probably don't know this because you're only new to the forum honey but we're not allowed to discuss abortion (always turns into a heated subject) so this thread will probably be locked x

Status: Offline

Mar 9th, 2010, 12:35 PM	#5
ravenmel Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: UK Posts: 217	Thanks guys, didn't know we wasn't allowed to talk about this subject. I wish my OH never told me now and think she shouldn't have told him either because she knows we're TTC so seems a bit cruel or maybe she wants us to convince her to have it. She's one of the only people we told that we're TTC. She's not a teen just focusing on her career and their relationship is too immature is what she's thinking. Never mind l'll just have to hold my tongue on this one and try to separate the two things. Going to scream in to a pillow and then I'll be fine. xxx

Status: Offline

Mar 9th, 2010, 14:17 PM	#6
trumpetbum Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Glasvegas Posts: 3,398	I think you are being a fantastic sil, supporting her. It must be extremely hard for you and life doesn't seem to have rhyme nor reason when these things happen. I hope everything works out for both of you.

Status: Offline

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