hiya! sorry you have a husband on strike
Personally, I would BD ALL month, not just during ov time.. he will know you care about him, because men have needs to believe it or not Also, if you *must* chart, temp, etc.. don't do it when he is near you. Go in the bathroom, temp without waking him, etc. My husband is all about it because we BD regularly with lots of foreplay, whether TTC or anytime in my cycle (not when AF is here lol). I temp without waking him/turning on a light, and he doesn't know I am on FF. He knows I am here on BnB, but I don't talk about it. Good luck, and I hope he gets back into the swing of things..

Hiya Lizzybix,

I actually had my hubby say to me "I'm not a machine!"

That made me take stock.
I was obsessed with trying. And still am, but it takes two to make a baby and he needed something different to get him in the mood. Me telling him "I'll be ready when you get home" sounds great on paper - not when he's just done a 10-hour afternoon shift and it's 11pm!
So I gave him reverse psychology for a few weeks and took a cycle off.
I didn't touch him. Told him I'd got the Witch in, I was tired, I'd got to get up early, anything to avoid sex or the like... And by the third week he was gagging!

I work with a lot of guys (I work in an engineering firm) and I know that when they say they want to make a baby they don't want to think about that when they are doing the thing they have to do to make a baby. It's almost a perverted thing in their eyes.

Talk to your hubby, when mine realised what TTC was/ is doing to me, he became a lot more understanding.

Hope this helps?

PS - TMI warning - now he gets to choose the place. The kitchen table is currently his favourite!

Its common lizzy, as a guy i can tell you that though me and my partner BD regularly anyway - when i know it is ovulation time i feel pressured too. She did comment recently that at the end of our last day of ttc i had a 'haunted' look on my face as well


My OH put on something sexy for me a few cycles ago. And it had the opposite effect to the desired one because i felt she had only put it on because she was ovulating... i know it seems a no win situation for the woman!.

Id suggest concentrating more on the "none ovulating days"...i dont know how involved he is with your charting and opks but id just...not mention them or do it all in front of him.

People do assume guys just want sex no matter what...but it isnt as simple as that, and it sounds like your one of quite a few women who have had this issue.

Completely normal hun - especially if you've been ttc for more than a couple of months.

Maybe try buying some ribbed condoms or just have foreplay to show him that you want HIM not just his sperm

My DH is feeling the pressure too - we used to have sex at least every other day but the libido has definitely trailed off...trying to keep some regularity throughout your cycle (not just around Ov) helps.

Like everyone else has said, try not to focus on ttc for a while; I know thats a lot harder than it sounds but it'll be worth it x x

I'm not sure what to say, but my OH likes to kno when i'm ovulating, because we've been ttc for nearly 2 years now we just have sex whenever and other stuff up until few days before i ovulated an then we have lots of sex an then after ov we just have sex whenever and i make sure i do other stuff, just for him i guess it doesnt really take the pressure off if your OH is under pressure but with us, we like to get ov out of the way an then just relax & have "fun" afterwards

I just want to thank everyone for their advice, im going to sit him down tommorow and discuss it calmly and ill bear in mind the advise given here. Thanks all.