CapitalChick

Ladies,
I think that this is goodbye. I'm totally and completely crushed, but I've been ordered to put off TTC for now.
As some of you may know, I was recently diagnosed with hypothyroidism, which is actually pretty treatable. Today, though, I discovered that mine is particularly devastating case of hypothyroidism - so much so that I'm told by a specialist that I should "pray" that I'm NOT pregnant this month, because my baby would be at tremendous risk.
Normal ranges of thyroid stimulating hormones fall between 2.0 and 4.0. A mild case of hypothyroidism is diagnosed when a patient registers at 4.6, and a full case of hypothyroidism is diagnosed when a patient hits over 5.0. Tonight, I got my results from my doctor....I clocked in at over 100. That's not a typo. Over 100. In fact, my levels were so high, that they just could not be measured. We don't know how much higher than 100 my levels are, we just know that they are over 100.
My cousin is a fertility specialist and has strongly and firmly asked me not to try to get pregnant right now. She understands how hard this is for me, but has tried to explain the risks to me.
I'm so so so sad right now. I'm frustrated that my family doctor is taking, what my cousin (the specialist) describes as "a very slow and gentle approach". I want an agressive approach to treat me! I'm going to go and demand this from my doctor. I'm told that, once this problem is cured (might be matter of weeks or months), that I should be able to get pregnant without trouble. I am not holding my breath. I feel that this is the beginning of a tortuous journey for me and my husband. I honestly wonder if I'll have the strength to get through it. So far, all signs point to no.
These past 6 months have been the toughest of my life. And tonight, I feel like I was handed a sentence that's even harsher than these last 6 months.
I keep wondering what I've done to deserve this. I keep thinking to myself that I've always considered myself a flawed, but very decent human being...but I've also always thought I'd be a great mom. And now I'm thinking that perhaps I haven't been a good person. Perhaps I'm getting my 'just desserts', as they say.

Maybe one day I'll be back on these boards (contributing). I don't know. For now, though, I think I'm going to take a break. As much as I love reading about all your journeys (and mostly your successes), I have to be honest and admit that, if I'm not TTC, then baby and bump is probably not a site I can handle. I'll keep checking in for a while to say hello, but this is going to be goodbye for now. Lots of love and babydust. I hope that NONE of you ladies are here when I return....I hope to search for you and find you in pregnancy sections of this site.

G'night and good luck.

Carley

Oh hunny please do not leave us. At least you know it is treatable and doesn't take long to fix. Work on getting yourself as healthy as you can so you can have a healthy baby

miel

dear capitalchick,
we only know each other because of the forum ... I will keep you in my thought as you are a great freind and support each days here that went by... I should think of you each day as you go and fight your battle for a heathly you... You are a strong ladie capital and I do know that you deserve and will be a great mom
I wish you the best and the shortest recovery possible.
wishing strenght to you and your husband.
I will wait to hear from you when you are ready to visit us again.
thank you for being with us.

loopylew

Try and stay positive, like Carley said you know it is treatable and there are so many couples out there who an infertile and the reason is not treatable. Try and focus on becoming healthy and you will get pg in no time im sure xx

Carley

I really hope you stay, because right now you need that support and we are here to offer it to you.

niknaknat

Chick, you have to do what is best for your own sanity and if coming on here is going to make things harder to deal with then it is best that you stay away for a while. Stay positive and keep strong, I know it may seem like the world is against you at the moment but you are a tough lady, don't let it knock you back too far.
Hurry back hun and I hope everything turns out the way you want it to.
Loads of for you, take care xxxxx

Alexandra

I perfectly well understand both why you don't want to be here for now and why these ladies are upset you'd leave them.

You are a wonderful human being indeed and that strength will get you healthy and ready to fight a short and effective TTC battle in no time flat!

Good luck with everything.

Arcanegirl

Take care of yourself, i hope you will be back and we'll be ready with open arms when you do

GemGems

I dont really know you but from what i've read you're not a bad person at all, and you're not getting your "just desserts". I do believe in karma but if you're a good person then there's no way that your fertility problems are karma coming back to haunt you. I'm sure it'll happen for you one day, and like you say, it is treatable.
Best luck for the future. xxxx

cupcake

oh hun i am so sorry. i hope that this is sorted out very soon for you and that you are back on track with ttc in a couple of months. i fully believe i will see you back on the boards soon. i wish you the best of luck in treating your problem. move doctors if you need to so that you can find someone who will treat you the way it needs to be done. you are doing the most responsible thing by first getting healthy. i cant imagine how hard this is for you and i wish you all the strength in the world. i will be thinking of you and am around if you ever want to pm. best of luck.

p.s.