Alexandra

I know this will be a potentially sensitive topic but we have no secrets here so I was curious.... Do you ladies have an "exit strategy"? A contingency plan?

Ours as it stands now is in another 3 months (2 cycles after this one) to the fertility clinic for tests and treatments, in another 6 months looking into IVF and in
another 6 if nothing, adopting.

Carley

I don't have a problem falling pregnant BUT i do have a problem keeping the pregnancy. We've had many triploidy pregnancies (no viable with life) If we have another successful pregnancy, I'm getting my tubes done. If we have another triploidy, I'm adopting. Even now I'm scared to be pregnant

Nic

We've not been trying that long - next month will be cycle 11 - but I asked hubby if he would think of adopting and his reaction, after a bit of thought was 'no'. So I don't know. I don't think I'd like to go down the IVF route. I think its partly because my SIL went through two lots of IVF unsuccessfully and then went on to fall pg naturally two years later. But also I kinda believe that we are not entitled to have children and if nature doesn't want you to, you shouldn't mess too much - how much is too much? I don't really know. Clomid and stuff for PCOS is fine, so I don't quite know how I define it. Its just a personal thing - I hope I haven't offended anyone. But I think there are many kids out there who need a loving family and having been brought up by my step dad I know that there is no reason you can't love 'non-blood' in the same way as 'blood' kids.

I'm hoping I never have to explore these issues in any more detail.....

Coffee

I feel similar to Nic.
Me and DH have sort of discussed it. We agreed to give it another 6 months (have been TTC for 8 months now) and if nothing happens we will have some time off, go on holiday, have lots of fun! Then maybe think about going to see a dr and have some basic tests done later on down the line.
I can't imagine i would ever go down the IVF route, as i just don't think its for me. I have a couple of friends who have adopted and seeing their journey and what they have been through (both went through unsuccessful IVF attempts) i think i would skip the IVF and go straight to the adoption route. Like Nic, i don't really see much difference between 'blood' and 'non'blood'- you just love who you love!

Alchemist

I think after a year of trying you need to explore your options...but i think 6 months for me (as i am 32)...but then again, 6 months is pretty quick isnt it?

_Alice_

We're int our 5 months of TTC now. I'm not to worried just yet, but
if we did have problems, we'd try IVF, then surrogacy, then adoption i think!

The Catster

What an enlightening thread!!!

Coz I have a DD, I have never really thought about what I would do if I couldn't have children....
I think I would have tried IVF and then gone on to adopt.....

If my TTC #2 doesn't work then I will eventually probably just give up....or obsess with temping etc for the next 5 years!lol

TrixieLox

Great thread - we're on our 6th month of trying. Next month, if no BFP, I will start worrying and will therefore visit my dr for tests, pretending I've been trying for a year if need be. I know this is strange but a) we need to stop trying in July cos my bro is getting married in Seychelles / Mauritious next year (can't be heavily PG out there) so need some solutions if I wanna fall PG by July and b), my friend who visited a top fertility clinic in London, said the dr there said to her if you're healthy and under 35, you should conceive within 6 months, simple as (as long as you're not getting your OV time wrong and are BDing enough). I don't see the point wasting time obsessing about TTCing each month if it turns out there's 'something wrong' with me or the hubby's fertility. We could spend the time we would've spent trying pointless things actually getting to the root of our problems, medically. Life's too short. Hey, we might be fine but best to know as early as poss.

The recommended time to see a dr is a year anyway (6 months for over 35), so I can't imagine the patience of those of you who don't go and see their dr for tests if they've been trying for more than a year!!!!

If there's any problems, then I guess the dr would advise what's next. But I think, before IVF, I'd go see a fertility expert first, like Zita West. Apparently, loads and loads of couples have IVF unnessarily when all they needed was advice from a ferility expert about timing of BDing, health and so on. Sure, it's expensive (about £2k or more overall) but not as difficult, painful and expensive as IVF can sometimes be.

Down the line, adoption would need to be the final option. I couldn't not have a child and adoption is something I would consider. Not sure the OH is up for that but like others said, you love who you love. I mean, my dog didn't come out of my belly but I love him like he's my son, ha ha (seriously tho!!!). We're ideal candidates too (according to a work colleague who used to work in adoption services) due to my hubby's job and our circumstances so to be able to provide a home and life for a child would be amazing.

Anyways, I'm getting my BFP this month so I won't need to think about all this ... ! x

Alexandra

Ditto on all counts. Very well put post, we share into most of those sentiments.

And absolutely agree with this last one. We won't need to think about it.

EllaCruz

This is something that I have thought about considerably because I have always been convinced that I cannot have children.

IVF would break me, I think, because it fails so often, costs so much. The waiting lists are atrocious and I just think that this route would be far too horrific to contemplate. Surrogacy, I don’t know about that, either. The idea of someone else feeling my baby’s movement when I cannot, someone else having the scanner touch their belly, hearing my baby’s heartbeat inside of somebody else…it’s psychological, more than anything else.

We always said that if it was DH that was the problem we would adopt. Egg donors would be no good either because neither of us would like the idea of the child biologically belonging to one but not the other, so I guess our only option would be adoption.

Only hope it does not come to that.