I'm sorry you're feeling so down but I think most people on here feel like this at your stage in the cycle. I too had an MC and little things get me down like today i looked at the calendar for April and I had written how far gone I was each week - had to scrub it all out and it made me really sad. But it is good to talk about these things.

You are very good not to test until Af is late! It's a good decision!
You are still in with a chance and I wish you loads of
If

does show her face you must join us in divising a super plan for next cycle - it's all we can do! Try, try and try again, we have to succeed at some point!!!!!!