Quote:
Originally Posted by Carley  If I can offer any support liz, I'm here for you  |
thank u i really need to get all this weight off of me, im so depressed about it, i never wanna go out, i cant go to shops without putting a mass amount of make up on bcoz thts the only disguise i have - well its the only way i can kind of hide if u get wot i mean, or pass as a lil bit decent. its weird i think i have deep issues!! but im the only one who can sort it bcoz im the one eating i can make myself stop, but the worse thing is i was on a diet this time last yr i lost 2 stone i cud c it ppl were commenting on how great i was doin and now im the exact same iv put it all bk on so tht hard work went to waste. the only shp i can shop around here is Evans, no offence to ppl who shop there its a nice shop but i feel embarassed wen im walking towards it, wen iv passed thru the doors and wen i go to buy sumthing, tht is y i only have about 4/5 tops and i only have a black pair of trousers and 1 pair of jeans. i only to in there wen i DESPERATELY need to buy sum clothing bcoz the clothing has worn thin.
i do need sum help and i admit it.
i cnt tlk to my mum about it bcoz she is a big girl and she always sed im fat and thts the way im guna stay etc etc.
i tlk to my OH but he is a thin guy, - i cant belive my luck with him really i dnt! he understands a little bit but (and im sorry about the TMI here but) wen it comes to getting down n dirty i RARELY do it bcoz if i dnt feel sexy i dnt want sex, which is selfish and obviously a man has needs altho he says he'l wait, but it stil makes me feel bad and wen i ever do it im clothed and nothing is really exposed even tho he has seen it b4 - wen i lost the weight - but now iv put it bk iv crawled bk into myself.
i hate shopping bcoz if i go into a clothes store tht obviously wudnt have my size i feel like the ppl r looking at me thinkin wots the point of her being in here shes too fat to b here, or wen im out by myself im constantly listening out to passers by just incase there is a laughter, snigger, comment about my weight as soon as i here one i cry n my OH has to pick up the pieces again.
im so sorry about the huge rant
this is how i feel constantly - oh and u wont c me in any other clothing apart from black and the only reason is bcoz its "slimming".
if anyone thinks they can help me or feels the same please let me no, i need to sort my life out, not only for OH or the potential kids we might hav but for myself. i need to b happy again and i feel the only way to do tht is to be bk t the size i wanna b.
sorry again.
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