Hi i have been TTC since April '09. Concieved in Aug but sadly m/c in Sept.

About a month ago i have noticed OH may be displaying slight symptoms of ED. (erection not as long as before, erection not as hard & sometimes cannot achieve orgasm) I am really worried he may feel under pressure or he is worried about me, im not sure.
Any advice?
We still have a healthy sex life but we have lost the excitement a bit since TTC i guess.

it happens. sometimes men feel like there's too much pressure when ttc. try to make it feel more like you just want to have fun and less like "I'm Ovulating!" don't mention much about your cycle, just randomly seduce him, catch him off guard.

maybe try some sexy undies? haha I don't know. try to get the excitement back.

best of luck to you hun.

you can just try not to think about the TTC and just have sex when you both feel up to it, make him feel special like think what makes him excited down there and then try to do that? maybe (sorry about the TMI) BJ him, handjob or 69 he might enjoy it more and that he will be happy again, my hubby went thought this and then it just disapeared.

best of luck hun and i hope this helps ya

Personally, I can't just not think about it. We do enjoy lots of cuddles all along my cycle, but it doesn't take away the pressure around ov time. I try not to tell him, but I'm sure he does kind of know, it's not that hard to count without trying, and even, I expect I act a bit different around that time. Like for example, we regularly bd in the mornings but gradually as we wake up. When I go to the toilet, come back and I attempt however gently to wake him up, I'm sure it must go through his mind that I got my 'peak' on my cbfm!

What helps us is to consider ttc with a sense of humour. Not easy when we have been trying since last April and we had a m/c in between, but we have found that is the best way to relax. It does put us in funny situations. Like last evening, he was driving on his way to pick up a friend and and we were talking about the game 'life' which we'd played over the week-end, and I was telling him how easy it is in the virtual world to have kids, no needs to poas and the man doesn't need to play with himself to have his semen tested, was going to say more when he told me that in the meantime, his friend had got in the car and I was on speakers!

Thanks for all your posts.

Im also a bit concerned that he might just be developing ED, i am worried about that.
Also can this affect the sperm? Can he still be ejaculating but not sperm?

I agree with the other ladies I think it is just performance anxiety. it is a lot of pressure to be ready on demand. maybe try not telling him when you O just try and make it more fun and less clinical.

if it keeps being an issue ask your doctor, if he is uncomfortable doing so you can always get an at home male fertility kit

i think ttc is really hard on blokes too - esp. if you had an mc. once they decide to have babies they are also emotionally involved (even if they're crap at showing it some days...) and its about their very masculinity. its about being able to do the job - and this need to 'perform' can cause all sorts of issues. there are all sorts of things you can do - try and have a 'normal' sex life. yes its tough but good regular sex because you want sex, not just baby sex, means so much to a man. its how they connect emotionally. you know the old saying, if you want a man to talk about his feelings, give him a blow job first!

on a purely mechanical level, get his blood pressure checked out as ED can be the first sign for a bloke that things are not right in that dept.

good luck x

Thanks Rubyloo.
I will make sure he gets his blood pressure checked then.
I hope he is not developing ED.

Thanks for all your help.

Hi Lizzie,

I have only just started TTC but my hubby is the type who would get in a snot if he thought I was just after him for this sperm!

So, when I am having AF and leading up to OV I have been making it all about him - I brought some massage oil and lube and have been getting quite inventive in the bj/hand etc department (sorry TMI!) and generally just spoiling him. That takes all the pressure away because at the end of the day its only him that he's got to please (if you get what I mean).

I definitely think it is just a pressure thing - my hubby doesn't like pre-meditated sex at all and usually doesn't perform that well if it's planned too far in advance...!

Good luck xxx