so sorry

hoping 4 bump · Nov 18th, 2009, 08:32 AM

oh that's so awful. You deserve to have a baby with someone who loves you and respects you and will be a good father to your child.

so sorry to hear about this x

Joyzerelly · Nov 18th, 2009, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tryingfor#1

Joyzerelly
My mom has offered me to stay with her again. but my younger brother is there and I dont want to deal with all the hurt that i may cause my mom wen she sees me. I dont want to do that.

Knowing you're living in a dangerous situation with a man who doesn't respect you will hurt her a lot more. If you're staying with her she'll know you are safer and I'm sure that'll make her a lot happier. You've been offered help you'd be mad not to accept it. Good luck.

Mrschoochoo · Nov 18th, 2009, 08:57 AM

Leave today. One day soon you wont be able to. It will hurt your mom a lot more when she has to come out for your funeral cos hes hit you that little bit too hard.
Call the police, theres not an officer who hasnt seen it, and you hitting him back is not the same, I have met a couple of women who could take grown men out but I bet you arent one of them.
I know I am looking at things in back and white and you are seeing the shades of grey, but you have to wake up and realise your life has stopped, it wont start again till you get away. Its up to you how long you want your life to be on hold for.

jennyellen13 · Nov 18th, 2009, 09:05 AM

hey i havent read every post on here, and its not something i have been through personally but my dad used to abuse my mum, he would hit her in front of us and all sorts of other things in front of me and my brother, we were only about 10 and 6 at the time, it went on for so long becuase mum didnt work, have a career or anything, but then one day my dad left for another woman and my mum had to do something becuase we had no money or house becuase dad didnt give anything. we moved into my grandmas house and my mum did a law degree. she is now happily married to my step dad with a lovely farm and horses and 2 more little girls.

sorry to go on but there is light at the end, my dad did try and come back loads of times but by then my mum was stronger. and coming from a childs point of view, its not a good situation to be in, i was terified we even had to stay in a womans refuge. dont let yourself or any children get to that becuase i relive every day in that refuge xx

APBTlover · Nov 18th, 2009, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tryingfor#1

wish2bmama
I dont want to call the cops coz I dont want to go to jail to coz if he hits me i will hit him back.

oh honey.......you will not go to jail. I've been through that before. If he hits you first...it is self defense if you hit him back. So be honest....you don't want to call the cops because you are afraid he will not stay in jail long enough for you to get out and you know he'll come after you when he gets out of jail. I know it's hard but you need to leave ASAP!

DragonMummy · Nov 18th, 2009, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joyzerelly

Quote:

Originally Posted by tryingfor#1

Joyzerelly
My mom has offered me to stay with her again. but my younger brother is there and I dont want to deal with all the hurt that i may cause my mom wen she sees me. I dont want to do that.

Knowing you're living in a dangerous situation with a man who doesn't respect you will hurt her a lot more. If you're staying with her she'll know you are safer and I'm sure that'll make her a lot happier. You've been offered help you'd be mad not to accept it. Good luck.

I agree. Imagine you had a daughter and she was in trouble. You'd just want to haul her out of there and do everything you can to protect her and that is exactly what your mum will want to do. I know it's hard but you have to be brave and you have to get out. Reading this you are obviously in some kind of denial as every suggestion is met with a negative response or an excuse - that is NORMAL for anyone in your situation. But that doesn't change the fact that you need to get out. do you want to live your life in fear or do you want to get out and actually HAVE a life - a whole fresh start that can be anything you want. Yeah you have nothing now, but don't most of us start with nothing? Rome wasn't built in a day - you just need to make some first steps and everything else will follow, you'll see. xxx

MysMT · Nov 18th, 2009, 12:55 PM

Yes - Don't use the excuse of not being able to get out because of money or no where to go. There is always someone available whether it's family, friends, or a shelter to help you through it.

Trust me I used the same excuse. Get out. Once that line is crossed - you can never go back. He will always have the ability to do it again. I'm assuming if it got to this point there must have always been emotional abuse too.

You are far better off without him - and although it may not seem like it now - you will feel so much better after awhile. After a few months of being alone - I realized how relaxed I was..that I wasn't walking on eggshells or watching what I was saying or doing in fear of how badly he might overreact to it.

Please call someone and please.. find a therapist or msgboards or a friend to help you through it - because even when you do leave, there is going to be a point where you will doubt if it was the right decision. You need a support system.

Good Luck.. I'll be thinking of you.

JTP · Nov 18th, 2009, 12:57 PM

I'm soooo sorry to hear that, My I decided that I wouldnt be having children with my ex when he kicked our cat into a wall!!

Dont put up with it - there are places that you can get help -
The longer you stay then youre giving him the right to do it!!!

If you want speak to him but dont take any crap

fairygirl · Nov 18th, 2009, 14:35 PM

Just sending some

bubbles · Nov 18th, 2009, 16:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DragonMummy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joyzerelly

Quote:

Originally Posted by tryingfor#1

Joyzerelly
My mom has offered me to stay with her again. but my younger brother is there and I dont want to deal with all the hurt that i may cause my mom wen she sees me. I dont want to do that.

Knowing you're living in a dangerous situation with a man who doesn't respect you will hurt her a lot more. If you're staying with her she'll know you are safer and I'm sure that'll make her a lot happier. You've been offered help you'd be mad not to accept it. Good luck.

I agree. Imagine you had a daughter and she was in trouble. You'd just want to haul her out of there and do everything you can to protect her and that is exactly what your mum will want to do. I know it's hard but you have to be brave and you have to get out. Reading this you are obviously in some kind of denial as every suggestion is met with a negative response or an excuse - that is NORMAL for anyone in your situation. But that doesn't change the fact that you need to get out. do you want to live your life in fear or do you want to get out and actually HAVE a life - a whole fresh start that can be anything you want. Yeah you have nothing now, but don't most of us start with nothing? Rome wasn't built in a day - you just need to make some first steps and everything else will follow, you'll see. xxx

Exactly what I was going to say. Please get away from this sorry excuse for a man xx

Nov 18th, 2009, 08:32 AM	#31
hoping 4 bump Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Norwich Posts: 130	so sorry oh that's so awful. You deserve to have a baby with someone who loves you and respects you and will be a good father to your child. so sorry to hear about this x

Status: Offline

Nov 18th, 2009, 08:57 AM	#33
Mrschoochoo Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 679	Leave today. One day soon you wont be able to. It will hurt your mom a lot more when she has to come out for your funeral cos hes hit you that little bit too hard. Call the police, theres not an officer who hasnt seen it, and you hitting him back is not the same, I have met a couple of women who could take grown men out but I bet you arent one of them. I know I am looking at things in back and white and you are seeing the shades of grey, but you have to wake up and realise your life has stopped, it wont start again till you get away. Its up to you how long you want your life to be on hold for.

Status: Offline

Nov 18th, 2009, 09:05 AM	#34
jennyellen13 Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: kent Posts: 1,374	hey i havent read every post on here, and its not something i have been through personally but my dad used to abuse my mum, he would hit her in front of us and all sorts of other things in front of me and my brother, we were only about 10 and 6 at the time, it went on for so long becuase mum didnt work, have a career or anything, but then one day my dad left for another woman and my mum had to do something becuase we had no money or house becuase dad didnt give anything. we moved into my grandmas house and my mum did a law degree. she is now happily married to my step dad with a lovely farm and horses and 2 more little girls. sorry to go on but there is light at the end, my dad did try and come back loads of times but by then my mum was stronger. and coming from a childs point of view, its not a good situation to be in, i was terified we even had to stay in a womans refuge. dont let yourself or any children get to that becuase i relive every day in that refuge xx

Status: Offline

Nov 18th, 2009, 12:55 PM	#37
MysMT Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 81	Yes - Don't use the excuse of not being able to get out because of money or no where to go. There is always someone available whether it's family, friends, or a shelter to help you through it. Trust me I used the same excuse. Get out. Once that line is crossed - you can never go back. He will always have the ability to do it again. I'm assuming if it got to this point there must have always been emotional abuse too. You are far better off without him - and although it may not seem like it now - you will feel so much better after awhile. After a few months of being alone - I realized how relaxed I was..that I wasn't walking on eggshells or watching what I was saying or doing in fear of how badly he might overreact to it. Please call someone and please.. find a therapist or msgboards or a friend to help you through it - because even when you do leave, there is going to be a point where you will doubt if it was the right decision. You need a support system. Good Luck.. I'll be thinking of you.

Status: Offline

Nov 18th, 2009, 12:57 PM	#38
JTP Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Blaenau Ffestiniog Posts: 72	I'm soooo sorry to hear that, My I decided that I wouldnt be having children with my ex when he kicked our cat into a wall!! Dont put up with it - there are places that you can get help - The longer you stay then youre giving him the right to do it!!! If you want speak to him but dont take any crap

Status: Offline

Nov 18th, 2009, 14:35 PM	#39
fairygirl Other BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Essex Posts: 8,196	Just sending some

Status: Offline

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