This afternoon we went to see some friends for lunch. They have an adorable 6 month old baby. I was hemming and hauing over whether to ask the wife (I consider them friends, but we're not SUPER close to discuss personal stuff...) about TTC and how long it took her. I thought "gee, they were married for a couple years before getting pregnant...maybe she struggled to get pregnant". Finally, I worked up the courage and asked her how long it took her to conceive. She quickly counted in her head and said "ten months". I said "wow...that's long, eh?" and she shrugged and said "yeah...I guess...it was a bit of time to wait". I asked her if she was really depressed and she smiled and said "Well, I once read that it can take a healthy couple up to a year.....or maybe I remember reading that the average couple takes a year....I can't remember....but anyway, I figured I wouldn't worry too much until the one year mark".
I thought "HOLY MOLY! I wish I was like you!". I felt silly telling her that we have been TTC for 4 months, but when I told her, she was super sympathetic. She said that an elderly man whom she respected very much once gave her some unsolicited advice. As her and her husband had been leaving his home, he said "By the way...I hope you one day have a beautiful family with lots of children....And while you're trying to make that family, please have NO stress or worries. Stress and worries are bad!"
She said that somehow his words really calmed her.
Anyway, I feel SO much better after talking to her. I'm not saying that I won't feel depressed again...I might even feel depressed tomorrow!...But seeing her just shrug and say "It took us ten months to conceive our first" and to think/know that that was fine and normal...it just made me put things into perspective.
I hope that some of you will find this comforting too.
You know, that makes sense! I can understand how that would make you feel better! I hope and pray that we both get this month! Good luck! Keep us informed!
thanks for sharing...it does make you feel better when you hear people ttc taking longer than a few months...because it really is normal and average for couples to take awhile to conceive. They say 50% take 6 months...75% 1 year. So don't worry! And she/older man are right, stress is never good.
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