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Old Jan 31st, 2008, 16:18 PM   #1
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I'm so annoyed


I'm totally annoyed and need to vent.
MY DH works with a woman who has, over time, become a friend of mine (not my best friend, but someone we both consider a friend). Anyway, we started TTC around the same time (I think she may have started one cycle before us). Anyway, she became pregnant on her second try and, obviously, we still haven't. I'm really annoyed because, first of all, she pretty much knows my cycle, so asks every month if we've got a BFP. I really think she should be sensitive and think "Gee...if they're not talking about it to me...I guess they aren't". And secondly, every time she asks, my husband or I sadly say "no..not yet", and EVERY month she shrugs and says "no worries...we also tried for X number of months before getting our BFP". She changes the number of months her and her DH supposedly 'tried' every single month! When we had tried twice, she said "oh...it took us three months". One our third try, she was like "oh...we got our BFP after four months...no worries, keep trying".
I really don't feel supported or comforted by this at all. Why can't she just say "Man...that sucks! It's so hard, isn't it? Best of luck for next month". I feel that she's being dismissive of the pain we're going through....AND...does she think we're stupid and don't remember that she got her BFP after 2 tries???
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Old Jan 31st, 2008, 16:27 PM   #2
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I know what you mean.. I have a friend (not a close friend, more of a "friend of a friend" who always checks in every month on my myspace page asking if I am pregnant yet. She is about 5 months along and knows the trouble that DH and I have been having with TTC. I think people just don't know how to react and they try to be helpful and supportive, but they do not realize how hurtful it can be b/c they are sitting there happy and pregnant.

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Old Jan 31st, 2008, 16:29 PM   #3
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I think some women who conceive quickly don't understand the pain of those we haven't conceived as quickly and don't understand how lucky they truly are to have conceived as fast as they did. Personally next time she asks I would tell her (in a nice way) that you'll let her know when it happens for you, but that you no longer want the pressure of having to answer her questions every month. Hopefully she'll take the hint.
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Old Jan 31st, 2008, 16:49 PM   #4
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She probably thinks she's being nice. I think vickie's advice is good ^^^
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Old Jan 31st, 2008, 18:05 PM   #5
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yep vickie is on the money with this one, tell her that you feel uncomfortable talking about it and when you are ready to tell ( after three months of being preggers lol) you will tell her but for now ud like to keep things to yourself. if she doesnt take it well. too bad.
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Old Jan 31st, 2008, 18:26 PM   #6
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yeah, i agree with Vicky... be frank with her .
keep you chin up
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