TTC #2 - Will they be as loved as #1?

LogansMama · Aug 2nd, 2009, 22:06 PM

For those of you with a child already, TTC another...

Do you ever worry you might not love the next child as much?

Sounds silly - I know. BUT - I am so in love with my son. I can't possibly imagine being able to love the next one as much. I feel like maybe they will always be "second best" or something.

I know its a dumb question. I feel dumb just for thinking it. I mean - I never imagined I could love this child as much as I do - so I'm sure I could love another the same - right?

But I still worry.

Arielle · Aug 2nd, 2009, 22:47 PM

I do too!!!

I just got married in June..
And my first son is by my ex.. and he was very unexpected.
His father left me shortly after and has never seen him before..

My husband has been there for both of us.
And now we want a baby of our own.
Its been 7 months.. and I want this baby so bad..

So unlike my first.. my pregnancy was miserable..
I was by myself and didnt want to be pregnant..

So I am worried that this baby will be favored. Since i want it SOOOOO bad.

mom2claire · Aug 2nd, 2009, 23:04 PM

Yes and no. It is hard to imagine loving another child as much as I love my daughter, but I know I will. I can't wait to have a new person to get to know, and fall in love with. In some ways, I feel baby #2 will be cheated. He or she will never get the one on one time, and attention that my daughter has gotten. But, I am worried that my daughter will feel shafted because I will not be able to give all of my attention to her.

LogansMama · Aug 2nd, 2009, 23:28 PM

Exactly. I worry about how Logan might feel cheated once the new baby comes and he doesn't have me all to himself anymore. And the things he might have to miss out on for a while - since there are plenty of things we do now that we won't be able to do once we have a newborn in the house. I mean - eventually we'll get back to it all, but I worry that the first several months will be hard for him. Right now he is used to doing SOMETHING with me EVERY DAY - whether its the beach, pool, park, library, movie... something. All that will change for him - at least temporarily.

And then the new baby - IT IS HARD to imagine being able to love them as much - though I am sure I would. I just can't imagine NOT favoring Logan...

I mean - I came from a family with 4 children, and our mom Loves us all the same. So I know it can be done.... but wow. Just SEEMS impossible at the moment!

mom2claire · Aug 2nd, 2009, 23:38 PM

Yes, it does seem hard to imagine. All the moms with more than one I've talked to assure me, they love all their kids just as much. And, I try to think I'm giving my daughter the gift of a sibling, but yes, I still do worry about her. It's normal I think.

belladonna · Aug 3rd, 2009, 03:12 AM

I worry about the same thing and I haven't had any yet!

I am an only child and know that my parents were able to give me a lot more as there was only one child whereas they would not have been able to afford it if there were two. I also know that Im really close to my parents as I was able to spend so much time with them. I look at my cousins and see that although their parents say that they did not have favorites, that I could see the difference in the way that they were treated.

My oh is one of two and wants to have lots of children, I don't know where we will put all of them as we live in a 1 bed house!

Aug 2nd, 2009, 22:06 PM	#1
LogansMama Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: South Florida Posts: 2,835	TTC #2 - Will they be as loved as #1? For those of you with a child already, TTC another... Do you ever worry you might not love the next child as much? Sounds silly - I know. BUT - I am so in love with my son. I can't possibly imagine being able to love the next one as much. I feel like maybe they will always be "second best" or something. I know its a dumb question. I feel dumb just for thinking it. I mean - I never imagined I could love this child as much as I do - so I'm sure I could love another the same - right? But I still worry.

Status: Offline

Aug 2nd, 2009, 23:04 PM	#3
mom2claire Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 15	Yes and no. It is hard to imagine loving another child as much as I love my daughter, but I know I will. I can't wait to have a new person to get to know, and fall in love with. In some ways, I feel baby #2 will be cheated. He or she will never get the one on one time, and attention that my daughter has gotten. But, I am worried that my daughter will feel shafted because I will not be able to give all of my attention to her.

Status: Offline

Aug 2nd, 2009, 23:28 PM	#4
LogansMama Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: South Florida Posts: 2,835	Exactly. I worry about how Logan might feel cheated once the new baby comes and he doesn't have me all to himself anymore. And the things he might have to miss out on for a while - since there are plenty of things we do now that we won't be able to do once we have a newborn in the house. I mean - eventually we'll get back to it all, but I worry that the first several months will be hard for him. Right now he is used to doing SOMETHING with me EVERY DAY - whether its the beach, pool, park, library, movie... something. All that will change for him - at least temporarily. And then the new baby - IT IS HARD to imagine being able to love them as much - though I am sure I would. I just can't imagine NOT favoring Logan... I mean - I came from a family with 4 children, and our mom Loves us all the same. So I know it can be done.... but wow. Just SEEMS impossible at the moment!

Status: Offline

Aug 2nd, 2009, 23:38 PM	#5
mom2claire Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 15	Yes, it does seem hard to imagine. All the moms with more than one I've talked to assure me, they love all their kids just as much. And, I try to think I'm giving my daughter the gift of a sibling, but yes, I still do worry about her. It's normal I think.

Status: Offline

Aug 3rd, 2009, 03:12 AM	#6
belladonna Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Hertfordshire, UK Posts: 962	I worry about the same thing and I haven't had any yet! I am an only child and know that my parents were able to give me a lot more as there was only one child whereas they would not have been able to afford it if there were two. I also know that Im really close to my parents as I was able to spend so much time with them. I look at my cousins and see that although their parents say that they did not have favorites, that I could see the difference in the way that they were treated. My oh is one of two and wants to have lots of children, I don't know where we will put all of them as we live in a 1 bed house!

Status: Offline

Aug 2nd, 2009, 22:47 PM	#2
Arielle Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 599	I do too!!! I just got married in June.. And my first son is by my ex.. and he was very unexpected. His father left me shortly after and has never seen him before.. My husband has been there for both of us. And now we want a baby of our own. Its been 7 months.. and I want this baby so bad.. So unlike my first.. my pregnancy was miserable.. I was by myself and didnt want to be pregnant.. So I am worried that this baby will be favored. Since i want it SOOOOO bad.

Status: Offline

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