Terrified. I had a MC and doctors discovered it was due to a large uterine AVM (a bit like an aneurysm), which needed surgery. Many, many scans later I've been told that it's safe to get pregnant now, but in the same breath my gyno said there are two small AVMs remaining around my uterus (they tend to regrow over time). The last one didn't cause any issue until I got pregnant and my blood volume & pressure increased; when I think of being pg now, I worry endlessly that those two 'harmless' vessels will balloon up and burst like the last one did. It would certainly end the pregnancy, and it could also kill me if I couldn't get to an ER fast enough to stop the blood loss.
I have nightmares about being pregnant and losing the baby, sometimes without even knowing I was pg, and I dream that I'm pg and fine until it comes time to give birth, when they perform a C-section and cut through a damaged vessel, causing me to bleed out... sometimes having a good imagination is a horrible thing.
I think being frightened is very understandable even in the most routine cases, but if you've had something traumatic like a MC happen it's even more understandable. Of course you're worried, it's only natural. What I try to do is tell myself over and over that things will be okay, and I envision a healthy body, a healthy pregnancy, delivery and baby every day. I'm hoping one day it will seep into my subconscious enough to wipe out or at least tone down the nightmares, and in the meantime, it makes me feel less frightened when I'm awake and in control of my thoughts
