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Old Dec 26th, 2007, 12:17 PM   #1
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For those TTC after a loss/losses


Are u scared to get pregnant again?

I know we dream of getting pregnant ASAP and we dream of everything related to pregnancy.. but I am scared to get pregnant again, scared to see a BFP and at the same time I can't wait to see a BFP, scared from what can happen, scared from my destiny and future.. Scared if I might have another loss, scared of having my first doc's appointment, scared to have my first ultrasound, and the list goes on.

Was wondering, who feels the same way??
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Old Dec 26th, 2007, 13:19 PM   #2
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Aww perfectly understandable but tbh i think now i've had the losses i'm stronger it didn't cross my find the first time i got pregnant that i might miscarry so when it happened the 2nd time i suppose i coped with it better. I think i'm just a bit more realistic now. Nothing to say that just cause you've had a mc it will happen again next time but i def felt the same way as you for a good few months it's only lately that i've been ok and not scared to try again. Just give yourself time you will feel able to try again at some point don't put too much pressure on yourself. x
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Old Dec 26th, 2007, 14:57 PM   #3
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aaawww hunni i understand how u feel xxxxx
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Old Dec 26th, 2007, 16:13 PM   #4
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I had 6 mics in a row before we were blessed with our first daughter. Understandable that you worry with next pregnancy, but i agree that the miscs made me stronger and as my expectations were not great i found subsequent losses 'easier' to cope with. Most ladies do go on to have successful pregnancies and it was such a great overwelming feeling when we had our daughter. Good luck
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Old Dec 26th, 2007, 20:11 PM   #5
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hey suzan i have not had a m/c but just wanted to say i understand how you feel, even if it is for different reasons. everytime i feel there is a chance i may be pg (ie if af is 1 day late) i get a wierd feeling that things are 'final' no more ttc and waiting and wondering. the fears are more 'will i be a good parent? will my baby be healthy?' etc but i guess we all have our own worries and our own reasons.

yours fears are completely understandable and justified and i'm sure many women in this situation feel the same way.
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Old Dec 26th, 2007, 20:57 PM   #6
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Yeah, Even thought our m/c was a while ago I still worry, we haven't had a bfp since it happened, and I worry that going through all this pain every month again and again will result in the same misfortune.

Yet when I think about giving up and not continuing to try.....I realise that I would going through anything to have my child, and when that day arrives, it will be worth it.
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Old Dec 27th, 2007, 04:58 AM   #7
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I totally understand. I have the same worries. I worry about the u/s, if I even can get pg again even though I should be able to, if I'd be a good parent, etc. I think you just have to sit down with your fears at some point ans tell yourself that things will be ok and that worrying won't do any good, you know? Good luck anyway!
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Old Dec 27th, 2007, 05:27 AM   #8
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I know Im not TTC but as you know I beat the cruel ways of TTC too All I wanted was to see a positive result then when I did for my circumstances it was never exciting I was doomed with chemicals so it was the most anxious trying times of my life x

Lots of luck hunny you will be on pins but you will make this journey x
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Old Dec 27th, 2007, 07:07 AM   #9
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Terrified. I had a MC and doctors discovered it was due to a large uterine AVM (a bit like an aneurysm), which needed surgery. Many, many scans later I've been told that it's safe to get pregnant now, but in the same breath my gyno said there are two small AVMs remaining around my uterus (they tend to regrow over time). The last one didn't cause any issue until I got pregnant and my blood volume & pressure increased; when I think of being pg now, I worry endlessly that those two 'harmless' vessels will balloon up and burst like the last one did. It would certainly end the pregnancy, and it could also kill me if I couldn't get to an ER fast enough to stop the blood loss.

I have nightmares about being pregnant and losing the baby, sometimes without even knowing I was pg, and I dream that I'm pg and fine until it comes time to give birth, when they perform a C-section and cut through a damaged vessel, causing me to bleed out... sometimes having a good imagination is a horrible thing.

I think being frightened is very understandable even in the most routine cases, but if you've had something traumatic like a MC happen it's even more understandable. Of course you're worried, it's only natural. What I try to do is tell myself over and over that things will be okay, and I envision a healthy body, a healthy pregnancy, delivery and baby every day. I'm hoping one day it will seep into my subconscious enough to wipe out or at least tone down the nightmares, and in the meantime, it makes me feel less frightened when I'm awake and in control of my thoughts
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Old Dec 27th, 2007, 09:59 AM   #10
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very much so.... I was scared but excited when i got my BFP on 2nd pregnancy, but it didn't stop me telling everyone

I think i'm more scared to get a BFP now, tbh the first time i tested after my 2nd MC I was sat there thinking "please, no....please, yes.....but,....please no.....but yes...." kinda thing, - it was about 4 weeks after we found out I'd MCd
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