Mrs-N

im living with my dad at the moment and he smokes, i try and keep in the bedroom but i dont want to shut my self away.
i just hope we can move out as soon as possible.
is it as bad as people say, my mum smoked with me and my brother and my little sister all the way through all pregnancies and we are all generally healthy.
my sister was 6lb 7 when she was born so i would say thats a good weight,
so is it as bad as people say. x

FJL

mrsnewsbury, I personally think it IS as bad as people say.

Its like anything in life, it comes with a risk, doesn't mean something bad will happen, just that it CAN happen.

Not everyone that smokes dies of lung, throat or other cancer that smoking can cause, but many do.

I have a friend whos Mum smoked through 3 pregnancies and all her kids have very bad asthma and one of them was born very premmy and he was only around 3 pounds.

I just don't think its worth the risk, and I cannot believe that family wouldn't be willing to keep their distance when they light up.

justme00

I'm sorry but your MIL is being really selfish. It's not going to kill her to wait until she gets out of the car to smoke. My MIL did the same thing when we went to visit them last winter. I couldn't believe she was smoking around is when she knows her son and I both have asthma. Then she has the audacitiy to tell me NOT to wear perfume because it affects her allergies. OMG hypocrite!!

But on another note, my nieghbor was a chain smoker, got pregnant, smoked through out her entire pregnancy and had the smartest child I've ever met!! I'm not condoning her behavoir at all just showing another side to it.

I believe you are in the right to want her to stop smoking around you whether you are TTC or not...its your right not to smoke!!

Helen

When I was PG I could smell a cigarette about a 100 miles away. Barf! God they made me sick as hell!

I used to hate walking into the hospital for check ups cos of the smoking ban you'd have to walk past a line of smokers.

I think you are right to take a stand against the smoking family. What will you do when you have a LO though? Presumably you'd go visit...

My MIL smokes although she calls it "going for a wander" cos she thinks no-one knows. We went to a baby resucitation class after ours were born and we were told that a smoker shouldn't hold a baby for at least an hour after having a cigarette because all the poisons and toxins were on their breath and then being breathed into your child. The thing I hate is when C or T tries to put her finger into their mouths. Thankfully she doesn't let them do it.

Plus wasn't there a report in the news a while back about cot deaths and that something like 9 out of 10 cot deaths occured in smoking households or did I imagine that?

Wobbles

Its good your MIL does see baby sucking her fingers isn't good Helen.

I believe smoking in the house as you say highers cot death finds.

As everything theres lots of scares and conflicting info whist TTC I would try to avoid the best you can as your obviously rightly concerned thing is whist TTC being a none smoker yourself (I assume) it depends if you who you let know your TTC most people keep it to them selves so it makes it harder to politely ask them not to smoke around you where possible where as when baby is around you would hope family would make an effort not to have a smokey home for you visiing but as so close maybe they would mainly have to nip to you. Most families will be happy to go out side for a smoke when newborn has arrived.

Sorry if missed anything obvious in replies only ran through breifly - trying to look around as much as I can in so little time

christinamike

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I can relate sort of. My mother smokes and as a child growing up it upset me very much. I remember trying to talk to her about quitting and her becoming enraged or not complying. I guess you need to remember that smoking is an addiction. Just like any other adict they aren't going to want to stop.

I would say that some exposure to second hand smoke is not a problem. But if it is everyday, constant exposure I think this is not healthy - even for someone not trying to conceive. Though I understand you don't want to let her know you are TTC, maybe that is the motivation she needs to cut down, quit, or at least stop smoking around you.

faith_may

I know how you feel, my mom smokes too, but I told her that if she wants to know her grandchild (once I conceive), she better stops, because one thing is to smoke in front of all my family and a very different one is to smoke in the same room where my baby would be (again once I conceive and of course once I have it)

Tilly

Thats a difficult position to be in and MIL is the last person you want to be argueing with! they sound very unreasonable, so I don't know what to suggest.. but hopefully when you're pregnant they will be more understanding.

Definitely put your foot down and you're right..

@toria - shes speaking about a lot of smoking, not 1 cigarette once in a while.