Naturalmystic

Hi

My two best friends are currently TTC, one has been trying for a year and a half and the other for nine months and so far no BFP. The other day they both admitted to me that they get jealous of pregnant women and they cry from time to time when they hear about people they know who are pregnant (especially if it is unplanned or the person is in a less than ideal situation). They are both wonderful people and will make great mothers and they are like sisters to me. My issue is that DH and I have started talking about TTC but and I contantly worry about if we do TTC and I get pregnant before my friends. I know that this may not happen and it could take months for me to conceive but what if we get pregnant quickly, I will feel so guilty and having my friends miserable will take the joy of being pregnant away from me. I have thought about postponing TTC until at least one of them get pregnant but I am not sure whether that is a good enough reason to wait.

jamieleigh

try not to worry but this hun if you fall before them then you do it cant be helped every women is different if they r true friends then they will support you. i thinks its natural to get a lil envous and upset specially after trying so long i admitt i do i have been ttc a year now but i accept that some women are luckier then others please try not to worry yourself with this hun as it is something you have no control over but maybe have a chat with your friends and let them no when you start ttc then if you do get pregnant first hopefully they wont feel so shocked as they will know u were ttc hope this helps hun good luk xxx

DeeDee2009

you should ttc when you and your OH are ready to do so. you're a great friend for being so sensitive to their feelings and i'm sure that it's been really difficult for them seeing other people getting pregnant before they do, but what if neither of them are pregnant for quite some time? i don't think you should put your life on hold, even though you obviously love them dearly. i'm sure if you happened to fall pregnant first they would be extremely happy for you and i hope they would put their happiness for you first rather than any feelings of resentment they might have.

if you did happen to fall pregnant first i would just try to be sensitive when talking about baby stuff with them, as i'm sure they would find it difficult, but that doesn't mean not talking to them about it at all, just being aware of how they might be feeling.

555ann555

I wouldn't let concern for your friends put you off TTC.

My best friend has gotten pregnant and given birth twice since we'd started WTT and TTC, but as much as I wish it was me I don't grudge her her two wonderful children.

It can be a little hard sometimes but she's totally supportive of my struggle, as I am of her's to cope with a young child and a baby.

If they love you they'll be happy for you, even if they do feel a little sour that they've not had their BFP yet.



Think of it this way, what if they never get pregnant? When would you ever be able to start trying?

ponymomma

I understand your concerns about hurting such close friends. It would be unhuman for someone who has been TTC not to feel a little envious of someone else's BFP. But these girls are you closest friends, and you shouldn't sell them too short. Of course they will be ecstatic for you and DH!!!

Naturalmystic

You girls are so right. Once DH and I decide when I will go for it. I have already asked one of them their opinion on me tying to conceive and she told me to go for it and that she wished she had tried to conceive earlier instead of waiting for things to be perfect. So I think now I will tell the other one as well so as Jamieleigh said it would not be a surprise.

jamieleigh

good on you hun at the end of the day u cant put your plans on hold to please other if we went through life doing that we wud never be happy ourselves good luk hun xx

honeybee2

what a lovely considerate friend you are! hun, this is a dilema, but only because you let it to be. If your friends really cared for you, they'd be happy- of course they would feel a bit of envy, TTC is no easy journey but their time will come and you shouldnt feel put off- its your life so enjoy it!

jamieleigh

i agree with that hun just enjoy it xx