Welcome to BabyandBump's Trying To Conceive Forum - Trying to conceive your first or doing it again? Share & seek advice through your TTC journey with others. This thread is called 'Just an update' and is in our Trying To Conceive Forums section. | 
Dec 20th, 2007, 20:08 PM
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#11 | | Mom of 1, #2 on the way! Chat Happy BnB Member
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I'm Currently Feeling:  | im so sorry hun   | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 20th, 2007, 21:03 PM
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#12 | | Pregnant (Expecting)
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I'm Currently Feeling: | I'm very sorry to hear about this. |
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Dec 20th, 2007, 21:06 PM
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#13 | | TTC #1 with IVF Chat Happy BnB Member
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I'm Currently Feeling:  | I'm so sorry for your loss hun
We're all hear for you anytime you need us |
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Dec 20th, 2007, 23:02 PM
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#14 | | TTC for over 3 years BabyandBump Team
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I'm Currently Feeling: | I'm so sorry |
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Dec 20th, 2007, 23:31 PM
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#15 | | Preggers #4..It's a girl! Active BnB Member
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I'm Currently Feeling:  | Sorry to hear that sweetie | | | | Status: Offline
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Dec 20th, 2007, 23:43 PM
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#16 | | Married, but not ttc Active BnB Member
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I'm Currently Feeling:  | Aw hun, sorry to hear that |
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Dec 21st, 2007, 01:18 AM
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#17 | | Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member
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I'm Currently Feeling:  | I hope that you are doing alright, and you have all my sympathies |
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Dec 21st, 2007, 06:43 AM
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#18 | | Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member
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I'm Currently Feeling:  | Im Feeling Sad But Ok Starting To Feel More Positive Until Last Night When I Woke Up And Found My Hubby Crying In The Dark And Its So Hard Because I Dont Know How To Make Him Feel Better. |
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Dec 21st, 2007, 06:55 AM
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#19 | | BnB Addict
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I'm Currently Feeling:  | He is probably feeling the same as you are babe in the way that he doesn't know how to make it all better, just make sure you talk to eachother and are there for eachother, that is about all you can do babe... I am so sorry for your loss babe! x |
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Dec 21st, 2007, 07:37 AM
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#20 | | Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member
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I'm Currently Feeling:  | Quote:
Originally Posted by mayz83  Im Feeling Sad But Ok Starting To Feel More Positive Until Last Night When I Woke Up And Found My Hubby Crying In The Dark And Its So Hard Because I Dont Know How To Make Him Feel Better. | I'm so, so sorry for you both.
My DH is a very sensitive man, and fairly private with his feelings - he's obnoxious and silly on the outside, but inside his heart is as big as the sky. He rarely lets anyone know when he's feeling sad, and it sounds like your DH is much the same way (as many men are). My best advice is to just love him. Hug him, talk if he wants to (but don't push - my DH will shut down if he feels pressured, many men are the same way). If he needs to go out with the guys and do manly things, be okay with it - I think it can be a release for them to yell and scream at a sporting event, swing a golf club, stand around talking about who has the best car, or just drink beer and make fun of each other. Sometimes they even talk to each other - if he's got a friend who has been through something similar, he may find support there (you might as well).
edit --> he might be feeling privately guilty, as though he did something to cause the MC. He may think his 'boys' weren't up to the job, or that fight you had (if you had a fight) harmed the baby, that you shouldn't have carried those heavy groceries... sometimes husbands pile a lot of guilt on themselves. It might help to let him know that it's almost never preventable - check out the facts sticky, it's a great post with loads of info on how it's NOT either of your faults. I wouldn't bombard him with information, but quietly let him know that there's nothing either of you could have done, and that it's very, very normal to grieve after a loss like this. |
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