FJL

I think adoption is WAY too hard to be approved for.

We have a very good family friend who is my Mums neighbour. Her and her husband are THE most wonderful people ever and she is such a great support system for me. They're in their 50's now, but in their late 20's she got pregnant while on the pill and they had a son. At the time her husband was working with some sort of chemicals in the airforce and when the time came to TTC #2 they found out that he had 0 sperm. They could've tried IVF but decided not to and to adopt instead. Apparently many of the men he worked with were also found to be infertile.

So they went through the whole adoption process and were told they could adopt a baby girl from China. They had the nursery done and everything prepared for her. Her husband started having heart problems and they cancelled and denied them to ever adopt as they didn't want to risk the baby girls adoptive Father dying before she turned 18.

They were absolutely heartbroken and devestated as one would be.

25 years on and she told me that she can still not bring herself to throw out all the adoption paperwork.

She described it as Mrs X has a baby in hospital with her new baby in the cot. The authorities come in and question her and at the end say 'Sorry Mrs X you aren't suitable to be a parent, we'll be taking your child from you'.

I like how adoption is an option, but apart from many reasons, I would be SO scared of being knocked back and then having no options what so ever.

bluebell

That seems really unfair - to get that far through the process and be knocked back right at the end.

I'd definately consider adoption, although going on what FJL has said, it may not be that easy

Obviously hubby and I would ttc for a few years, but if I don't get PG, then it would definately be an option as I can't imagine not having a child in our lives at some point.

I just hope that when we do start ttc in the new year, that I get a BFP!!

x

Wobbles

OMG that story is heart breaking

Im sure things may have changed since then though - thats discusting! Although these kind of things do work in the most odd ways including how social services in general deal with their cases - take a child from a Mum that just needs help give a drug user all the help to get over their problem Grrr

FJL

Yep Wobs, I hope things have changed too...that was almost 18 years ago, so hopefully the system is different in a good way by now.

When their baby would've turned 18, they're going to write to the agency (or whoever knocked them back) and tell them 'hey, we're still alive, you killed our dream for now reason'.