DH has lost his mojo :-(

mrs_rj · Apr 5th, 2009, 05:16 AM

The title kind of gives it away - our sex drives have done a major swap! all the time i was on birth contral (the pill for 5 years and mirena coil for 1) my sex drvie was almost none existent and DH was always moaning we didn't BD enough. Well, since coming off the coil 2 weeks ago my sex drive is through the roof and DH has gone the oppostie - it is always me that initiates it and a lot of the time get knocked back.

It's not that we are under pressure with TTC - we just took the decision to stop trying not to get PG. I'm just worried he is going off me! Yesterday i went shopping with a friend and thought would get some nice knickers to entice him a bit (he has never refused before!) and i text him while he was at work to say i had a nice surprise for him - normally he would race home when he finished work but today he went to see his parents first and when he got in he just said do you want to take the dogs for a walk!!!!!!!!!!

Am i reading too much into this?! xx

honey08 · Apr 5th, 2009, 05:22 AM

mine was the same uknow and we were ttc, it was after a mc so i thought omg its knocked him more than i thought, it was awful getting knocked bk by ur own OH,very upsetting a stressful,but we went to docs and he had blood,turned out he had low testostrone uknow !!! so we both started taking maca tablets (herbels) 6wk later he was tested again, all ok !!
might be the same ?!

polaris · Apr 5th, 2009, 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrs_rj

The title kind of gives it away - our sex drives have done a major swap! all the time i was on birth contral (the pill for 5 years and mirena coil for 1) my sex drvie was almost none existent and DH was always moaning we didn't BD enough. Well, since coming off the coil 2 weeks ago my sex drive is through the roof and DH has gone the oppostie - it is always me that initiates it and a lot of the time get knocked back.

It's not that we are under pressure with TTC - we just took the decision to stop trying not to get PG. I'm just worried he is going off me! Yesterday i went shopping with a friend and thought would get some nice knickers to entice him a bit (he has never refused before!) and i text him while he was at work to say i had a nice surprise for him - normally he would race home when he finished work but today he went to see his parents first and when he got in he just said do you want to take the dogs for a walk!!!!!!!!!!

Am i reading too much into this?! xx

Maybe sit him down and explain to him that being on hormonal birth control can suppress your natural sex drive and now that you are off it, your hormones are gone back to their natural state and you can't get enough of him. Some men get worried that you only want them for their sperm and find this offputting, especially if there has been a big change in your sex drive. If you explain to him that your sex drive is through the roof but that it's not about trying to get pregnant, he may be able to relax and enjoy it.

Jeannette · Apr 5th, 2009, 06:18 AM

I agree with Polaris (who always gives great advice

)!! In addition to that, he might be a little scared. Men can get like that when they are faced with big changes, especially the pressures and resposibilities of fatherhood! He may not even realize that's what is going on with him. Just make sure to stay focused on him and your relationship....try to keep the ttc as a secondary goal so he doesn't feel too pressured or too "convenient"

bungle · Apr 5th, 2009, 08:06 AM

Just read out ur thread to my OH in a kind of "you don't feel like i'm using you for your sperm do you hunny?" Ha ha ha and was quite surprised to hear the response. He said at first he did! A friend of ours is super fertile and in just her first month of ttc she became pregnant. I guess that i thought that if i put enough energy and enthusiasm into it that we would be the same. It had never occurred to me that my behaviour - jumping on him every other day as advised on here and shoving a pillow under my bum after sex etc would leave him feeling a bit used. I thought he'd be glad of all the sex!!! I guess they're a lot more sensitive than we give them credit for...

Sapph · Apr 5th, 2009, 10:09 AM

My OH and I have had very similar problems.

It's really hard, when you only have one or two days a month when you can conceive, and he's not up for it!!

I think the key is not to pressure on. This is what I'm aiming to do whenever there's a problem, even though my temptation is to say, 'Oh, for God's sake. Your only role in this whole process is to jiz. Just do it.'

aurora · Apr 5th, 2009, 10:31 AM

lol Sapph...

I agree 100% with polaris. Explain that its about coming off bc. It IS... I found my sex drive after the pill too.

mrs_rj · Apr 5th, 2009, 10:34 AM

thank you all for your replies - what you all say makes sense so i need to have a chat with him i think - as you say, i don't think we give them enough credit about their feelings!

Apr 5th, 2009, 05:16 AM	#1
mrs_rj Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 1,090	DH has lost his mojo :-( The title kind of gives it away - our sex drives have done a major swap! all the time i was on birth contral (the pill for 5 years and mirena coil for 1) my sex drvie was almost none existent and DH was always moaning we didn't BD enough. Well, since coming off the coil 2 weeks ago my sex drive is through the roof and DH has gone the oppostie - it is always me that initiates it and a lot of the time get knocked back. It's not that we are under pressure with TTC - we just took the decision to stop trying not to get PG. I'm just worried he is going off me! Yesterday i went shopping with a friend and thought would get some nice knickers to entice him a bit (he has never refused before!) and i text him while he was at work to say i had a nice surprise for him - normally he would race home when he finished work but today he went to see his parents first and when he got in he just said do you want to take the dogs for a walk!!!!!!!!!! Am i reading too much into this?! xx

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2009, 05:22 AM	#2
honey08 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: north yorkshire,uk Posts: 28,667	mine was the same uknow and we were ttc, it was after a mc so i thought omg its knocked him more than i thought, it was awful getting knocked bk by ur own OH,very upsetting a stressful,but we went to docs and he had blood,turned out he had low testostrone uknow !!! so we both started taking maca tablets (herbels) 6wk later he was tested again, all ok !! might be the same ?!

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2009, 06:18 AM	#4
Jeannette Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 542	I agree with Polaris (who always gives great advice )!! In addition to that, he might be a little scared. Men can get like that when they are faced with big changes, especially the pressures and resposibilities of fatherhood! He may not even realize that's what is going on with him. Just make sure to stay focused on him and your relationship....try to keep the ttc as a secondary goal so he doesn't feel too pressured or too "convenient"

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2009, 08:06 AM	#5
bungle Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chippenham, Wilts Posts: 1,337	Just read out ur thread to my OH in a kind of "you don't feel like i'm using you for your sperm do you hunny?" Ha ha ha and was quite surprised to hear the response. He said at first he did! A friend of ours is super fertile and in just her first month of ttc she became pregnant. I guess that i thought that if i put enough energy and enthusiasm into it that we would be the same. It had never occurred to me that my behaviour - jumping on him every other day as advised on here and shoving a pillow under my bum after sex etc would leave him feeling a bit used. I thought he'd be glad of all the sex!!! I guess they're a lot more sensitive than we give them credit for...

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2009, 10:09 AM	#6
Sapph Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 70	My OH and I have had very similar problems. It's really hard, when you only have one or two days a month when you can conceive, and he's not up for it!! I think the key is not to pressure on. This is what I'm aiming to do whenever there's a problem, even though my temptation is to say, 'Oh, for God's sake. Your only role in this whole process is to jiz. Just do it.'

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2009, 10:31 AM	#7
aurora Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Yukon, Canada Posts: 4,231	lol Sapph... I agree 100% with polaris. Explain that its about coming off bc. It IS... I found my sex drive after the pill too.

Status: Offline

Apr 5th, 2009, 10:34 AM	#8
mrs_rj Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 1,090	thank you all for your replies - what you all say makes sense so i need to have a chat with him i think - as you say, i don't think we give them enough credit about their feelings!

Status: Offline

Similar Threads
DH has changed his mind about ttc?!?!?!	Trying To Conceive
Anyone else lost their mojo re buying things for baby?	Pregnancy - Third Trimester
Lion Brian has lost some of his grr!	Pregnancy - Second Trimester
I lost mine and OH has found his!	Pregnancy - First Trimester
Lost My Mojo!	Pregnancy - First Trimester

User Name		Remember Me?
Password