Ella started nursery in September. I was really worried about her starting as she was quite shy with other kids but luckily she settled in really well and has now got lots of friends there.

However, since she's started she's become impossible at home. She doesn't do as she's told, she answers back and tbh I'm not coping with her at all. I love her to bits but I feel like I'm forever telling her off at the moment. It's all getting very upsetting

Today we had a friend over and her bad behaviour escalated. No matter what we did she just wasn't listening to us. She spat in my face, kept trying to grab things I'd told her to leave alone, was continuiously farting on our visitor... it was embarassing and it looked like (and felt like) we had no control over her.

My DH goes back off of paternity leave tomorrow and I'm panicking I'm not going to be able to cope with her. At the moment she's causing me more work and stress than the two boys put together.

Please say this is a phase. I want my little girl who behaved herself back

i kind of know wot u mean, jack started nursery about 2months ago but only one morning aweek and when he comes home hes hard to handle, he fine everother day, it maybe that they dont know how to go from nursery to home life, it can be hard for them, maybe ask the nursery people if shes doing wot shes told there, or ask them if they know wot u could do....

Yikes!

Do you get a good vibe from the nursery? We did all the kids seem so mellow I was shocked when we went to look around.

My Caitlins a handful anyway so I can imagine after a full day when she gets home she will be ratty - tired from all the playing and running about but not sure how I would handle that

Do they have a record of what LO does? Caitlin comes home with a book it tells us everything shes done and ate etc I love the idea.

I could of just said this myself .. lately Carly has been acting very oddly?

She is being very rude , her attitude stinks , she just doesnt listen to the point im going to take her to the docters to get her ears checked! I know she can hear but she just has such an attitude she blocks everything anyone says and carries on being a little shit.

She is an angel at school , helps with the cleanign up . the first to put her hand up. Incredibly smart.. but why at home is she a devil?? Wish i had the answers.. Im struggling

Thanks for the replies.

I think they do keep a record of what Ella does but they don't send it home with her, they just send her drawings and paintings home.

It's been really shocking because she's gone from so shy and well behaved to being all over confident and naughty. She's frustrating me because she understands when I tell her not to do something, she just doesn't want to listen.

The other kids at nursery seem ok. They are all sat in their little groups when I go to pick her up and the teachers seem lovely.

I just don't want to become a parent that can't control her daughter and it's upsetting me that at the moment I feel like that

What age is she hun? Chloe is 3 now and is sooo cheeky and defiant, slams doors and has screaming fits to try get her own way. Im surprised our neighbours havent phoned the police!

Chloe has been in nursery since she was 4mth and I had my concerns that she was picking up bad habits from there but I went to her parents evening and they had nothing but praise for her. They say say she is an angel when she is there! I can only think that its the tiredness and kids never behave for their parents as they would anyone else and they like to push the boundaries. It's frustrating but I reckon it's just another phase hun x

She's 4 in February. I really hope it's a phase. She's always been a bit of a drama queen and loves the attention so I should have expected it to esculate at some point really.

I hate complaining about her because I love the little sod to bits

I havent read anyone else's reply but, do you think it maybe an attention thing? I read in a book (Christopher Green Taming Toddlers), that if they feel insecure about not having your attention 100% of the time, then they start to figure out that by being naughty, they get even more attention. Usually this means anything like having friends round or trying to get five minutes peace and quiet is a total nightmare.

Maybe going to nursery makes her feel insecure and she is trying to get some reassurance from you, but by playing up she is getting told off - which is the opposite and makes her feel worse?

Another thought, if there has been anything in your life recently which is stressfull or emotional which she cannot understand, then she will pick up on the emotions, feel them too and feel even more insecure.

You should try this book - it is fantastic! Of course, I havent put any of it to the test yet as Tom is still only 16 months old - but the answer in the book would be more mummy and daughter time and loads more hugs, kisses and I love yous.

Hope this helps - maybe I am on the wrong track....

I think you're on the right track. I spoke to her nursery teacher today who told me she's still quite shy with other kids there so maybe she is feeling a bit insecure?

I've ordered the book so I'm going to have a good read, thank you

Do you think some of it might be down to the new baby? She won't be getting the same amount of attention that she used to.