Dealing with awkward "what is that" questions (mentions scars - delicate subject)

asacia · Oct 14th, 2009, 08:03 AM

I hope it is okay for me to ask this?

LO is only a baby still, but I'm already worried about the question phase.

I want LO to be raised with a healthy opinion of the body and nudity.

My problem is, I have a lot of scars on my arms. I'm not sure how to deal with it, how to explain it, or how far to go to hide it.

I can only cover the area of scars with 3/4 length sleeves or longer.

Does anyone have any ideas about how to deal with this?

marley2580 · Oct 14th, 2009, 09:49 AM

I would be honest and just say that mummy used to hurt herself when she felt really sad, but since having LO mummy doesn't feel that sad any more.

isil · Oct 14th, 2009, 11:30 AM

I have the same problem and I have no idea how I'm going to deal with it as I'm not 'out' with some people. I'm worried about Ally announcing that 'Mummy has scars' to the world age 3!

hypnorm · Oct 14th, 2009, 11:56 AM

i think just be as open as you can with her, maybe explain that mummy has poorly arms, and then maybe explain it when she is older.

Mum2b_Claire · Oct 14th, 2009, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hypnorm

i think just be as open as you can with her, maybe explain that mummy has poorly arms, and then maybe explain it when she is older.

I think this sounds like the best policy.

I'll have some explaining to do about my complicated family when Ruby is old enough to understand...I'm already thinking about it. I think it's good to be prepared! I think I'll try and broach the subject as early as possible as I'd hate for someone else to 'enlighten' her.

Katew · Oct 14th, 2009, 12:54 PM

Don't want to go into it too much but one of my parents had a variety of scars and adnormalities, but it was just the norm so I never ever asked. That was just my parent and as a child it never became an issue. I was a child that was very very nosey as well and would ask about other people but that was my parent so didn't make me think! Was not until I got to secondary that I asked and by then it could be explained to me in depth. Hope this is of help!

Ratty · Oct 15th, 2009, 04:23 AM

I think the best is to not hide it from your LO while they are young so that they get used to it and it becomes the normal and they won't question it.

Nic1107 · Oct 15th, 2009, 19:35 PM

I have some scars on my left arm; I have a sensory integration disorder (related to autistic traits) and used to cut myself- just shallow little ones really, but I scar really easily- as a sensory stimulation thing. When my kids are old enough- teenagers or older-I'll tell them if they ask, that yes I did it to myself. Until then, I'm telling them I had a run-in with one of those farm tools that have lots of blades.

mamalove · Oct 16th, 2009, 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hypnorm

i think just be as open as you can with her, maybe explain that mummy has poorly arms, and then maybe explain it when she is older.

I think this is the best way until they are old enough to understand.
I wouldn't go into depth of things and tell a 3-4 year old that mummy was unhappy and cut herself etc it might make then think that it's ok to do that every time you feel sad and unhappy ..which for a 3 year oldis every time they don't get their way.
And like others said,it might just become normal to them ..

asacia · Oct 16th, 2009, 04:25 AM

Thanks for the advice. I'm just so worried about passing on my crazy to him, I want to protect him from bad things. I don't want him to grow up with a crazy Mum!

Oct 14th, 2009, 08:03 AM	#1
asacia Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Surrey Posts: 1,708	Dealing with awkward "what is that" questions (mentions scars - delicate subject) I hope it is okay for me to ask this? LO is only a baby still, but I'm already worried about the question phase. I want LO to be raised with a healthy opinion of the body and nudity. My problem is, I have a lot of scars on my arms. I'm not sure how to deal with it, how to explain it, or how far to go to hide it. I can only cover the area of scars with 3/4 length sleeves or longer. Does anyone have any ideas about how to deal with this?

Status: Offline

Oct 14th, 2009, 09:49 AM	#2
marley2580 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Forfar Posts: 6,103	I would be honest and just say that mummy used to hurt herself when she felt really sad, but since having LO mummy doesn't feel that sad any more.

Status: Offline

Oct 14th, 2009, 11:30 AM	#3
isil Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 8,147	I have the same problem and I have no idea how I'm going to deal with it as I'm not 'out' with some people. I'm worried about Ally announcing that 'Mummy has scars' to the world age 3!

Status: Online

Oct 14th, 2009, 11:56 AM	#4
hypnorm Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Stroud, Gloucester Posts: 4,507	i think just be as open as you can with her, maybe explain that mummy has poorly arms, and then maybe explain it when she is older.

Status: Online

Oct 14th, 2009, 12:54 PM	#6
Katew Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 377	Don't want to go into it too much but one of my parents had a variety of scars and adnormalities, but it was just the norm so I never ever asked. That was just my parent and as a child it never became an issue. I was a child that was very very nosey as well and would ask about other people but that was my parent so didn't make me think! Was not until I got to secondary that I asked and by then it could be explained to me in depth. Hope this is of help!

Status: Offline

Oct 15th, 2009, 04:23 AM	#7
Ratty Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1,030	I think the best is to not hide it from your LO while they are young so that they get used to it and it becomes the normal and they won't question it.

Status: Offline

Oct 15th, 2009, 19:35 PM	#8
Nic1107 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: USA Posts: 4,301	I have some scars on my left arm; I have a sensory integration disorder (related to autistic traits) and used to cut myself- just shallow little ones really, but I scar really easily- as a sensory stimulation thing. When my kids are old enough- teenagers or older-I'll tell them if they ask, that yes I did it to myself. Until then, I'm telling them I had a run-in with one of those farm tools that have lots of blades.

Status: Offline

Oct 16th, 2009, 04:25 AM	#10
asacia Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Surrey Posts: 1,708	Thanks for the advice. I'm just so worried about passing on my crazy to him, I want to protect him from bad things. I don't want him to grow up with a crazy Mum!

Status: Offline

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