Toddler Tantrums OH and I disagreeing on how to handle!

starbucks101 · Sep 15th, 2009, 14:44 PM

Hi guys!

This is starting to cause some real tension in our household, our 21 month old has hit the terrible 2s now bless her and tantrums are happening a few times a day especially over bed time...

I tend to just ignore them and let her get on with them, she throw hers toys launches herself at you etc and is just a general little monkey, where as my OH just shouts and gets really annoyed...

I find this really concerning that he reacts this way and i guess he finds my coolness to it upsetting, but we are starting to argue about it which i really do not want.

When Em throws a tantrum with me alone i really just tend to talk her through it and ignore her when she throws things unless its something dangerous...

I really don't know what to do, Toddler tantrums are normal arent they?! My OH doesnt seem to understand its a phase she's going to grow out of!

*sigh* any advice pretty please!

Am I dealing with her all wrong or should i stick to my guns on OH not shouting at her?

Jkelmum · Sep 15th, 2009, 15:23 PM

With Ethan he as always since about 18 month been told off for throwing and made to sit on the naughty time out chair ..he then gets up says sorry and we carry on

Jkelmum · Sep 15th, 2009, 15:24 PM

I,ll add now he is 2 and half and if he is naughty and i say why have u done that he takes himself to the naughty chair then gets up and says sorry

**Vickie** · Sep 15th, 2009, 15:26 PM

Hannah's only 13 months and already has tantrums

We tend to try and ignore her as well (as hard as it is sometimes) if I really feel like I'm going to lose my patience with her I put her in her crib (a safe area) to let her calm down. Maybe you can suggest he do something along those lines?

dali · Sep 15th, 2009, 15:33 PM

i find ignoring it works best hun ( for me anyway) if i make a fuss he carries on for much longer... i ignore it for a little while then go over and pick him up off the floor and try to calm him, if that doesnt work i leave it a bit longer, but generally his tantrums dont last more than a minute or 2

i think shouting is probably one of the worst ways to handle it, it is a phase they all go through , it is part of learning , and often because they dont understand / cant express themselves properly yet

**Vickie** · Sep 15th, 2009, 15:34 PM

a minute or two?

Hannah's last major tantrum lasted a good hour

Lexi's Mummy · Sep 15th, 2009, 15:34 PM

yep i tend to ignore lexi's too. she is the most stubborn child i have ever met, she is soooo testing. there have been times that have really got me, and ive just wanted to scream at her to stop but depending on where i am i will just walk away and let her get on with it until she calms herself xx

sam's mum · Sep 15th, 2009, 15:41 PM

Totally normal! I ignore Sam's too - I think shouting at him would just get him more worked up, especially when they're because he's tired. As much as it seems like they're just being difficult, apparently tantrums can be very stressful for kids too, so I'd imagine being shouted at at the same time would make that even worse x

Helen · Sep 15th, 2009, 15:41 PM

I agree with your approach. I can't see it does anyone any favours if you end up shouting and bawling too. It's hard to stay calm in the face of a tantrum sometimes though, kids seem to know what buttons to push.

I ignore it and if it's getting on my wick I ask them if they want to go on the naughty spot to calm down. Sometimes they say yes

and they go on, sometimes they stop whinging and other times it carries on and they end up on the naughty spot. Usually cures it though we've had some mega hour long ones too. Deep joy!

Samantha675 · Sep 15th, 2009, 18:39 PM

I tend to ignore Brenn as well, and just walk away. If he doesn't have my attention, he tends to get over it quicker. The one major tantrum, where he was just losing control, I did pick him up, and tell him to calm down, over and over, as calm and quietly as I could. LOs can not control their emotions yet, there are no filters, it is up to us to teach them how to do so.

Sep 15th, 2009, 14:44 PM	#1
starbucks101 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Norfolk Posts: 1,033	Toddler Tantrums OH and I disagreeing on how to handle! Hi guys! This is starting to cause some real tension in our household, our 21 month old has hit the terrible 2s now bless her and tantrums are happening a few times a day especially over bed time... I tend to just ignore them and let her get on with them, she throw hers toys launches herself at you etc and is just a general little monkey, where as my OH just shouts and gets really annoyed... I find this really concerning that he reacts this way and i guess he finds my coolness to it upsetting, but we are starting to argue about it which i really do not want. When Em throws a tantrum with me alone i really just tend to talk her through it and ignore her when she throws things unless its something dangerous... I really don't know what to do, Toddler tantrums are normal arent they?! My OH doesnt seem to understand its a phase she's going to grow out of! sigh any advice pretty please! Am I dealing with her all wrong or should i stick to my guns on OH not shouting at her?

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Sep 15th, 2009, 15:23 PM	#2
Jkelmum Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In my own bubble Posts: 17,575	With Ethan he as always since about 18 month been told off for throwing and made to sit on the naughty time out chair ..he then gets up says sorry and we carry on

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Sep 15th, 2009, 15:24 PM	#3
Jkelmum Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In my own bubble Posts: 17,575	I,ll add now he is 2 and half and if he is naughty and i say why have u done that he takes himself to the naughty chair then gets up and says sorry

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Sep 15th, 2009, 15:26 PM	#4
Vickie Mum (Mom) Administrator Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Toronto, ON Posts: 75,714	Hannah's only 13 months and already has tantrums We tend to try and ignore her as well (as hard as it is sometimes) if I really feel like I'm going to lose my patience with her I put her in her crib (a safe area) to let her calm down. Maybe you can suggest he do something along those lines?

Status: Online

Sep 15th, 2009, 15:33 PM	#5
dali Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: east sussex Posts: 1,575	i find ignoring it works best hun ( for me anyway) if i make a fuss he carries on for much longer... i ignore it for a little while then go over and pick him up off the floor and try to calm him, if that doesnt work i leave it a bit longer, but generally his tantrums dont last more than a minute or 2 i think shouting is probably one of the worst ways to handle it, it is a phase they all go through , it is part of learning , and often because they dont understand / cant express themselves properly yet

Status: Offline

Sep 15th, 2009, 15:34 PM	#6
Vickie Mum (Mom) Administrator Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Toronto, ON Posts: 75,714	a minute or two? Hannah's last major tantrum lasted a good hour

Status: Online

Sep 15th, 2009, 15:34 PM	#7
Lexi's Mummy Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: blackpool Posts: 1,778	yep i tend to ignore lexi's too. she is the most stubborn child i have ever met, she is soooo testing. there have been times that have really got me, and ive just wanted to scream at her to stop but depending on where i am i will just walk away and let her get on with it until she calms herself xx

Status: Offline

Sep 15th, 2009, 15:41 PM	#8
sam's mum Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Hampshire, UK Posts: 11,404	Totally normal! I ignore Sam's too - I think shouting at him would just get him more worked up, especially when they're because he's tired. As much as it seems like they're just being difficult, apparently tantrums can be very stressful for kids too, so I'd imagine being shouted at at the same time would make that even worse x

Status: Offline

Sep 15th, 2009, 15:41 PM	#9
Helen Other BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,833	I agree with your approach. I can't see it does anyone any favours if you end up shouting and bawling too. It's hard to stay calm in the face of a tantrum sometimes though, kids seem to know what buttons to push. I ignore it and if it's getting on my wick I ask them if they want to go on the naughty spot to calm down. Sometimes they say yes and they go on, sometimes they stop whinging and other times it carries on and they end up on the naughty spot. Usually cures it though we've had some mega hour long ones too. Deep joy!
Helen Other BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,833
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Sep 15th, 2009, 18:39 PM	#10
Samantha675 Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Austin Texas Posts: 8,123	I tend to ignore Brenn as well, and just walk away. If he doesn't have my attention, he tends to get over it quicker. The one major tantrum, where he was just losing control, I did pick him up, and tell him to calm down, over and over, as calm and quietly as I could. LOs can not control their emotions yet, there are no filters, it is up to us to teach them how to do so.

Status: Offline

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