Toddler Tantrums OH and I disagreeing on how to handle! - Page 2

**Wobbles** · Sep 15th, 2009, 18:44 PM

Ignoring is hard huh?

I don't mean to pry but your partner is not lil ladies Daddy - Am I right? If so and not meant nasty here but it's your rules imo your way

!! Sorry if Im wrong & you got back together.

FsMummy · Sep 17th, 2009, 11:49 AM

its the same with us. when faith plays up i talk to her and tell her its wrong. oh shouts at her and gets frustrated really easily with her as in his opinion "she knows shes not allowed to do that" or "ive told her so many times" etc etc. i also do not agree with smacking and i dont smack her whereas if oh thinks shes been really bad (done something dangerous or hurt the twins etc) he will smack her on the bum (not hard but it upsets her and she sulks for ages after) and we have argued about it a lot. i know its just her age and she will grow out of it. plus the fact shes had a lot to deal with lately (the twins being born). ive been looking at nurseries as shes getting too bored at home and all my time is taken up with the babies and its not fair on her. i totally agree with your approach and you should stick with it.

starbucks101 · Sep 17th, 2009, 12:06 PM

Yer i spoke to OH about it, he got offended and thought i was doing the whole "she's not actually yours so you'll do as i say" which i wasnt but he has agreed not to shout at her anymore, he said he will just take the things she has thrown away.

which is half a comprimise... We've also started incorparating the step and ive popped her on there for 90 secs a couple of times and the paddy dies down as soon as i go and get her which is good.

We dont smack her unless she does something really dangerous like run into the road or strangle the cat etc... but i know it doesnt hrt her because she just looks at you then does a weird upset sob thing and goes and does something else?

Children are strange creatures!

MummyToAmberx · Sep 17th, 2009, 13:23 PM

I'll give amber wrong for throwing things shes shouldnt, but if just moaning about nothing, just leave her to it.

pimplebum · Sep 17th, 2009, 18:02 PM

hi hope tantrams stop soon for you the only advice i can give is never disagree or argue about the disapline you give your child infront of she/he as kids pick up on this real easy and use it .....and as long as there not hurting themselves or anyone else walk away and ignore it .......it just a matter of what works for you each kid is different

mylittlebubs · Sep 18th, 2009, 06:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vickie

a minute or two?

Hannah's last major tantrum lasted a good hour

an hour ?

Lincoln 's only lasts 5 min and sometimes i find it's hard to handle too

especially if OH gets annoyed with Lincoln coz it just upsets him more....
But he doesn;t throw his tantrum that often, maybe a few times a week

coz · Sep 18th, 2009, 06:37 AM

I also try and ignore Charlie when hes having a tantrum but it will only last a minute but if hes throwing things or hitting then i will tell him No in a stern voice and tell him hes being naughty x

DizzyMoo · Sep 18th, 2009, 10:58 AM

Your oh shouting at her is giving her the attention she wants imo, I'd defo try the naughty chair or corner etc.
But if he's stressing i'd find it worrying really like you say, He is handling it the wrong way but he may need to just be shown what to do when she starts & you both make the agreement to do it.

Helen · Sep 20th, 2009, 15:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mylittlebubs

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vickie

a minute or two?

Hannah's last major tantrum lasted a good hour

an hour ?

Lincoln 's only lasts 5 min and sometimes i find it's hard to handle too

especially if OH gets annoyed with Lincoln coz it just upsets him more....
But he doesn;t throw his tantrum that often, maybe a few times a week

I'm afraid the hour long tantrums will hit you eventually. They're only once a in a while but ...WOW! You gotta give them them 10 out of 10 for persistence!

Sep 15th, 2009, 18:44 PM	#11
Wobbles Mum (Mom) Administrator Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Chester Gal By Heart Posts: 50,081	Ignoring is hard huh? I don't mean to pry but your partner is not lil ladies Daddy - Am I right? If so and not meant nasty here but it's your rules imo your way !! Sorry if Im wrong & you got back together.
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Sep 17th, 2009, 11:49 AM	#12
FsMummy Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 3,055	its the same with us. when faith plays up i talk to her and tell her its wrong. oh shouts at her and gets frustrated really easily with her as in his opinion "she knows shes not allowed to do that" or "ive told her so many times" etc etc. i also do not agree with smacking and i dont smack her whereas if oh thinks shes been really bad (done something dangerous or hurt the twins etc) he will smack her on the bum (not hard but it upsets her and she sulks for ages after) and we have argued about it a lot. i know its just her age and she will grow out of it. plus the fact shes had a lot to deal with lately (the twins being born). ive been looking at nurseries as shes getting too bored at home and all my time is taken up with the babies and its not fair on her. i totally agree with your approach and you should stick with it.

Status: Offline

Sep 17th, 2009, 12:06 PM	#13
starbucks101 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Norfolk Posts: 1,033	Yer i spoke to OH about it, he got offended and thought i was doing the whole "she's not actually yours so you'll do as i say" which i wasnt but he has agreed not to shout at her anymore, he said he will just take the things she has thrown away. which is half a comprimise... We've also started incorparating the step and ive popped her on there for 90 secs a couple of times and the paddy dies down as soon as i go and get her which is good. We dont smack her unless she does something really dangerous like run into the road or strangle the cat etc... but i know it doesnt hrt her because she just looks at you then does a weird upset sob thing and goes and does something else? Children are strange creatures!

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Sep 17th, 2009, 13:23 PM	#14
MummyToAmberx Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Wolverhampton Posts: 11,185	I'll give amber wrong for throwing things shes shouldnt, but if just moaning about nothing, just leave her to it.

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Sep 17th, 2009, 18:02 PM	#15
pimplebum Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: midlands Posts: 1,206	hi hope tantrams stop soon for you the only advice i can give is never disagree or argue about the disapline you give your child infront of she/he as kids pick up on this real easy and use it .....and as long as there not hurting themselves or anyone else walk away and ignore it .......it just a matter of what works for you each kid is different

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Sep 18th, 2009, 06:37 AM	#17
coz Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: West Midlands, England Posts: 3,493	I also try and ignore Charlie when hes having a tantrum but it will only last a minute but if hes throwing things or hitting then i will tell him No in a stern voice and tell him hes being naughty x

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Sep 18th, 2009, 10:58 AM	#18
DizzyMoo Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 5,902	Your oh shouting at her is giving her the attention she wants imo, I'd defo try the naughty chair or corner etc. But if he's stressing i'd find it worrying really like you say, He is handling it the wrong way but he may need to just be shown what to do when she starts & you both make the agreement to do it.

Status: Offline

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