following on from my 'speech therapy' thread i made a complaint today against my hv.

my hv has been awful since the day rhys was born, i had him when i was 19 and live in a deprived area of our town so shes always kept a 'close eye' on me and just lately ive been getting sick of it.

she accused me of not feeding rhys at 6 months, she has always been suspicious of me using baby sign, she has always ciritised my parenting skills, has always been 'concerned' i married young and then on tuesday basically told me i was a bad mum because rhys cant talk clearly. i have also had 4 home visits in the past year to look at our home life.

please bear in mind im not like the stereotypical teen mum, i have a house,a mortgage, i work to earn a living and i would say im a good mum.

i told my mil about my latest encounter with my hv (info on other thread) and she was mortified. she rang my hv and spoke to her (calmly) about how she has made me feel. my hv said she was 'appalled' my mil dare question her actions and she never wants to see me/hear from me again! i could here her shouting at my mil and i was sat across the room! she said she never arranged any home visits which isnt true as shes arranged all 4.

so after the phone call i wrote a letter with the help of my mil and co-workers who also heard the phone call between her and my mil. it basically said i wasnt happy with my hvs attitude and that i dont want her to be my hv any more. ive also asked for a meeting with the area supervisor and requested to see my 'case file' so i can read what she has written about me. i dont think its helped that im in a foul mood anyway but hopefully ill get some answers as to why my hv is so 'concerned' for no apparent reason.

oh and i should add that my hv rang COLIN yesterday to discuss our home life and why rhys doesnt talk properly. AND she wanted rhys' nurserys phone number to speak to them about how he is at nursery

She sounds awful!

I think you've definitely done the right thing hon.She sounds like she had a really bad attitude and thats not what health visitors are there for,theyre meant to give you help and advice when YOU need it,not be judging you.
Hope you hear back soon from the area supervisor and that you get a new,nicer HV xxx

I think you've done the right thing

Hopefully more of us will speak up about terrible HV's x

I am a childminder and have to work in partnership with the nurseries that my mindees attend so that we teach them the same sort of things. When we do this we have to gain consent from the parents to do this and the nursery also has to ask permission from the parent to make sure they consent to sharing their child's personal information.

I am sure a HV would need to do the same. As far as I'm aware, the only way nurseries (and childminders) can share information with anyone outside the setting is if social services or the police were involved in the event of a safeguarding issue.

I am sure what your HV is doing is illegal. How your DS gets on at nursery is no concern of hers. Good on you for standing up to her. I hope you get a nice new one soon.

Let us know how it goes. x

im glad you all just dont think im being irrational!

how annoying, i have always thought ure a great mom, very organised and put together.
next she is going to blame you for war and poverty..

I would of aswell she sounds terrible im suprised youve managed to bite your tongue for so long

What a bully! Hope your next HV is much much nicer. It doesnt matter where you live. Even if you live in a cave you can still be a good mommy,so for your HV to be so snooty is a shame.I'm sure you are a great mom!