Seeing people for the first time..

KiwiMOM · Jan 21st, 2012, 03:43 AM

..since getting pregnant?

Whenever I see someone they always want to know how I am and how I'm feeling and what its like.. It isn't bad but I never know what to say. I must have sounded SO unsure of myself that the girl who I saw today asked me "So you're sure you're keeping it?" (yes.. "it") and was reassuring me that I'd be ok

I know I'll be ok and I'm really not that worried about the birth or being a Mom but I never know what to say.. I don't want them to think it's a cake walk or anything. Does anyone know what I mean? What the heck do I say to these people?? What do you guys say? And of course everyone loves an awkward story

Xjssc · Jan 21st, 2012, 03:55 AM

So you're keeping "it"? Seriously? Not just the fact that person said "it", but the fact you're almost 30 weeks. Some people really have no clue.
And that's why there's really not much point emphasising your discomforts, or how hormonal you are, or anything like that. I usually give them a brief summary of how I'm feeling, and end it with some generic statement, like, "I know it's going to hard, being a young mum, but I know he'll be worth it." It really depends who the person is, though.

I usually just avoid people who don't know I'm pregnant though.

KiwiMOM · Jan 21st, 2012, 04:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xjssc

So you're keeping "it"? Seriously? Not just the fact that person said "it", but the fact you're almost 30 weeks. Some people really have no clue.
And that's why there's really not much point emphasising your discomforts, or how hormonal you are, or anything like that. I usually give them a brief summary of how I'm feeling, and end it with some generic statement, like, "I know it's going to hard, being a young mum, but I know he'll be worth it." It really depends who the person is, though.

I usually just avoid people who don't know I'm pregnant though.

I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that one

I just said "Yes, definitely" I do try to avoid people as much as I can, I just think it'll be easier to show them I'll be ok when she's here but I didn't quite get away in time today

. That's awesome advice though, thanks.

ChesMik4eva · Jan 21st, 2012, 04:12 AM

I hate this, it always seems to happen with older people too like this chick I work with who's like 30 asked me who the father was. I'm like ummm my boyfriend of over 2 years?

And I hate it when they say "You'll be ok" it's like, yeah I know I'll be fine!

Or when they look at you like they feel sorry for you. I don't want your pity bitch I'm really happy to be having my baby!

Xjssc · Jan 21st, 2012, 04:12 AM

I think my jaw would drop if somebody asked me that - especially if I profoundly pregnant at 29 weeks. I haven't been asked that since really early on, and I always think it's an unacceptable question as, well, most people don't declare to the world that they're pregnant... only to terminate.

You'll definitely prove to them otherwise when your baby is here. Many people have such an ugly perception on young mothers, it's quite infuriating. :/
And hey - you're the first person from New Zealand I've stumbled across on here so far xD

Xjssc · Jan 21st, 2012, 04:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChesMik4eva

I hate this, it always seems to happen with older people too like this chick I work with who's like 30 asked me who the father was. I'm like ummm my boyfriend of over 2 years?

And I hate it when they say "You'll be ok" it's like, yeah I know I'll be fine!

Or when they look at you like they feel sorry for you. I don't want your pity bitch I'm really happy to be having my baby!

You made two points that I wholeheartedly agree with. I loathe when people ask me who the father is. Like, "congratulations" would have been a nice...? And it's almost always because they vulturously devour some "juicy" information from you. Urgh, so childish.

And that painful pity-look. Or when they actually have the nerve to LECTURE you, or, well, anything negative for that matter.

KiwiMOM · Jan 21st, 2012, 04:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xjssc

I think my jaw would drop if somebody asked me that - especially if I profoundly pregnant at 29 weeks. I haven't been asked that since really early on, and I always think it's an unacceptable question as, well, most people don't declare to the world that they're pregnant... only to terminate.

You'll definitely prove to them otherwise when your baby is here. Many people have such an ugly perception on young mothers, it's quite infuriating. :/
And hey - you're the first person from New Zealand I've stumbled across on here so far xD

very true.. I'm very obviously pregnant and was looking at baby things when she saw me

Oh that's awesome, love seeing people from NZ on here, there was one other girl but she's had her baby and has obviously been very busy because she hasn't been on much. I have her on facebook now though. Where are you from?

Xjssc · Jan 21st, 2012, 04:44 AM

LOL - you were looking at baby clothes, too? That makes her question even more ridiculously stupid. Maybe seeing you pregnant just took her by surprise? When I bump into people I haven't seen for years, or even talk to them online, they often say, "I'm surprised". Like they'd assumed I hadn't aged or matured in all of those years, or something. I guess it could be awkward for some people for a number of reasons.

Invercargill, although originally from Auckland. I've lived down here for five years now. What about you?

ChesMik4eva · Jan 21st, 2012, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xjssc

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChesMik4eva

I hate this, it always seems to happen with older people too like this chick I work with who's like 30 asked me who the father was. I'm like ummm my boyfriend of over 2 years?

And I hate it when they say "You'll be ok" it's like, yeah I know I'll be fine!

Or when they look at you like they feel sorry for you. I don't want your pity bitch I'm really happy to be having my baby!

You made two points that I wholeheartedly agree with. I loathe when people ask me who the father is. Like, "congratulations" would have been a nice...? And it's almost always because they vulturously devour some "juicy" information from you. Urgh, so childish.

And that painful pity-look. Or when they actually have the nerve to LECTURE you, or, well, anything negative for that matter.

I hate that just because we're young people don't see it as an occasion to say congratulations. My friends do, but anyone slightly older just acts concerned or asks how I'm "doing".

Especially a few women at work who are in their mid thirties and would love to have kids but haven't, they constantly talk about me and I know that they're jealous. Just because I didn't piss away my fertile years don't blame me!!

KiwiMOM · Jan 21st, 2012, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xjssc

LOL - you were looking at baby clothes, too? That makes her question even more ridiculously stupid. Maybe seeing you pregnant just took her by surprise? When I bump into people I haven't seen for years, or even talk to them online, they often say, "I'm surprised". Like they'd assumed I hadn't aged or matured in all of those years, or something. I guess it could be awkward for some people for a number of reasons.

Invercargill, although originally from Auckland. I've lived down here for five years now. What about you?

I guess it is a bit awkward for people to know what to say, I used to get kind of annoyed with people saying "CONGRATS!!" to pregnant teenagers because I didn't know if I should be happy for them or what.. if that makes sense. Now I know congrats is a safe bet

I live in Hamilton

but I moved over here from Canada when I was 4

Jan 21st, 2012, 03:43 AM	#1
KiwiMOM Pregnant (Expecting) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: New Zealand Posts: 1,140	Seeing people for the first time.. ..since getting pregnant? Whenever I see someone they always want to know how I am and how I'm feeling and what its like.. It isn't bad but I never know what to say. I must have sounded SO unsure of myself that the girl who I saw today asked me "So you're sure you're keeping it?" (yes.. "it") and was reassuring me that I'd be ok I know I'll be ok and I'm really not that worried about the birth or being a Mom but I never know what to say.. I don't want them to think it's a cake walk or anything. Does anyone know what I mean? What the heck do I say to these people?? What do you guys say? And of course everyone loves an awkward story

Status: Online

Jan 21st, 2012, 03:55 AM	#2
Xjssc Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: New Zealand Posts: 96	So you're keeping "it"? Seriously? Not just the fact that person said "it", but the fact you're almost 30 weeks. Some people really have no clue. And that's why there's really not much point emphasising your discomforts, or how hormonal you are, or anything like that. I usually give them a brief summary of how I'm feeling, and end it with some generic statement, like, "I know it's going to hard, being a young mum, but I know he'll be worth it." It really depends who the person is, though. I usually just avoid people who don't know I'm pregnant though.

Status: Offline

Jan 21st, 2012, 04:12 AM	#4
ChesMik4eva Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Darwin, Australia Posts: 265	I hate this, it always seems to happen with older people too like this chick I work with who's like 30 asked me who the father was. I'm like ummm my boyfriend of over 2 years? And I hate it when they say "You'll be ok" it's like, yeah I know I'll be fine! Or when they look at you like they feel sorry for you. I don't want your pity bitch I'm really happy to be having my baby!

Status: Offline

Jan 21st, 2012, 04:12 AM	#5
Xjssc Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: New Zealand Posts: 96	I think my jaw would drop if somebody asked me that - especially if I profoundly pregnant at 29 weeks. I haven't been asked that since really early on, and I always think it's an unacceptable question as, well, most people don't declare to the world that they're pregnant... only to terminate. You'll definitely prove to them otherwise when your baby is here. Many people have such an ugly perception on young mothers, it's quite infuriating. :/ And hey - you're the first person from New Zealand I've stumbled across on here so far xD

Status: Offline

Jan 21st, 2012, 04:44 AM	#8
Xjssc Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: New Zealand Posts: 96	LOL - you were looking at baby clothes, too? That makes her question even more ridiculously stupid. Maybe seeing you pregnant just took her by surprise? When I bump into people I haven't seen for years, or even talk to them online, they often say, "I'm surprised". Like they'd assumed I hadn't aged or matured in all of those years, or something. I guess it could be awkward for some people for a number of reasons. Invercargill, although originally from Auckland. I've lived down here for five years now. What about you?

Status: Offline

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