I am the pregnant teen sterotype :( - Page 3

leanneh · Apr 10th, 2009, 15:10 PM

i felt the same as you!! im a single mum and have a council house and im on benefits... though only until i finish with college and uni...
you shouldnt feel bad for being on benefits etc. cause its not like you have a choice at the moment, and thats what benefits are there for... just concentrate on being the best mum you can be and ignore the stereotypical judgements... people who make those have probably not been through hard times to understand

BonnieUK · Apr 17th, 2009, 15:09 PM

Sorry you're in that situation - I hope you're feeling better now. Have you thought of going to university in another year as a mature student? I know that you said it wasn't for you, but maybe a change of course might help? It just seems to me that it would be easier to go as a mature student, be housed with other students with families and I know you'd get much better benefits than you would if you stayed on the dole. If you had something like that to look forward to in another year, you might find it easier to cope. What about your boyfriend? Could he do something like that?

I teach A levels myself and went to university as a mature student (though before I had children) and it seemed much easier to study than to work full time.

Seraphim · Apr 19th, 2009, 08:29 AM

Hey hon

(Also in Devon)

To cast a different light on things... I was hit by a car when I was 17, when I left home I had to claim benefits. It took me a long time to get my degree with the OU, and there were a heap of ops etc which took alot of years....

The point is, I got my degree, I found a job which fits around my 'disabilities', and now I feel like the responsible person I always intended to be. It just took a bit of a detour.

Know who you are, trust your own integrity, be the best you can be, and then feel comfortable leaving other people to chew on their own preconceptions

Good luck. Message me if you feel like it x

becstar · Apr 19th, 2009, 09:02 AM

Sugar, I am a teacher and my husband used to be a mortgage advisor and he loved it. He's been out of work since October and has only just found something else, so he's been signing on. It happens to everyone right now and you'll be putting back into they system one day - it doesn't sound like this is a life choice for you, just the situation right now. Chin up and keep working towards the future - could you do a learndirect course or some work experience in the meantime? Or volunteer somewhere once you're feeling better? It'll look good on your CV and might lead to something more in the long-term.

Seraphim · Apr 19th, 2009, 18:26 PM

Becstar makes some good points.

Having something to show for the time... on a CV, is really useful. I found this the most useful thing when I was in a position to explain why I wasn't working during that time.

Katethinking · May 6th, 2009, 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClassicaLover

There is no point denying it any more and I feel so -shitty- about it.

1. Me and my partner are on job-seekers as we lost our jobs due to the credit-crunch and had to move in with his mum.
2. My OH doesn't want me looking for a job since the pregnancy has been making me really ill.
3. We've had to apply for council housing since all our jobseekers goes to his mum for 'rent' so we can only save a tenner a week between us which is never going to get us into a place of our own

I feel like trash

Those are the facts but I've been ignoring it because I got all A's at GCSE and A-level, loved school, I got into Uni but decided it wasn't for me (I didn't go back home and instead moved in with my partner as I had left home not just to go to uni but to 'leave home' I didn't want to go back and get stuck in a rut), I worked and have always loved working hard and getting my own money - I love being independent, I don't smoke, do drugs or even drink alcohol etc but if you look at the facts above it's clear I'm just a pregnant teen sterotype

This situation is really getting me down at the moment...so when disapproving people look at me and think, she's just on benefits and getting a council house - they'll be right

hey - i see this is a few months ago so I really hope things are looking up a bit and you're feeling better... all the things people have said are really sensible and true imho, hang on in there. i was wondering if you might be interested in talking to me about a radio prorgamme i'm making - i've got a post about it over in the press and research bit. totally udnerstand if not, just saw your post and was interested in what you said abot how frustrtaing the stigma and the stereotyping is. Anyway - good lcuk with it all x

Apr 10th, 2009, 15:10 PM	#21
leanneh Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: blackpool Posts: 178	i felt the same as you!! im a single mum and have a council house and im on benefits... though only until i finish with college and uni... you shouldnt feel bad for being on benefits etc. cause its not like you have a choice at the moment, and thats what benefits are there for... just concentrate on being the best mum you can be and ignore the stereotypical judgements... people who make those have probably not been through hard times to understand

Status: Offline

Apr 17th, 2009, 15:09 PM	#22
BonnieUK Mum (Mom) Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 1	Sorry you're in that situation - I hope you're feeling better now. Have you thought of going to university in another year as a mature student? I know that you said it wasn't for you, but maybe a change of course might help? It just seems to me that it would be easier to go as a mature student, be housed with other students with families and I know you'd get much better benefits than you would if you stayed on the dole. If you had something like that to look forward to in another year, you might find it easier to cope. What about your boyfriend? Could he do something like that? I teach A levels myself and went to university as a mature student (though before I had children) and it seemed much easier to study than to work full time.
BonnieUK Mum (Mom) Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 1
Status: Offline

Apr 19th, 2009, 08:29 AM	#23
Seraphim Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Dartmoor, Devon Posts: 7,082	Hey hon (Also in Devon) To cast a different light on things... I was hit by a car when I was 17, when I left home I had to claim benefits. It took me a long time to get my degree with the OU, and there were a heap of ops etc which took alot of years.... The point is, I got my degree, I found a job which fits around my 'disabilities', and now I feel like the responsible person I always intended to be. It just took a bit of a detour. Know who you are, trust your own integrity, be the best you can be, and then feel comfortable leaving other people to chew on their own preconceptions Good luck. Message me if you feel like it x

Status: Offline

Apr 19th, 2009, 09:02 AM	#24
becstar Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: London Posts: 3,339	Sugar, I am a teacher and my husband used to be a mortgage advisor and he loved it. He's been out of work since October and has only just found something else, so he's been signing on. It happens to everyone right now and you'll be putting back into they system one day - it doesn't sound like this is a life choice for you, just the situation right now. Chin up and keep working towards the future - could you do a learndirect course or some work experience in the meantime? Or volunteer somewhere once you're feeling better? It'll look good on your CV and might lead to something more in the long-term.

Status: Offline

Apr 19th, 2009, 18:26 PM	#25
Seraphim Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Dartmoor, Devon Posts: 7,082	Becstar makes some good points. Having something to show for the time... on a CV, is really useful. I found this the most useful thing when I was in a position to explain why I wasn't working during that time.

Status: Offline

Similar Threads
Hello Pregnant Teens and Teen Mums	Introduce Yourself
16 and pregnant/Teen mom series!	TV, Film & Entertainment
Pregnant Teen here	Teen Pregnancy

User Name		Remember Me?
Password