(okay so this is just a trivial rant. It's actually so funny, but very frustrating, and if i don't get this out, it may end up as an actual email!)

Dear FOB,
I really enjoy the way you send me text messages trying soooo hard to be patronising towards me and make me feel stupid, You turn your giant, hooked nose up and speak as if you are a class above me, using very long words and speaking like you are from the eighteenth century. I'm glad this makes you feel clever.

The part that i enjoy the most is the fact that, without fail, you spell every word that is longer than five letters wrong. Defeats the object really doesn't it shitface? I mean come on... here are a short list of your inexcusable mistakes.

*Suggest - you spelled it Surrjest.
*custody - you spelled it custardie (as in custard, that people eat, I E)
*Finally - you spelled it Fienaily.
*Progress - you spelled it Prowgres.
*Acheive - you spelled it Achive.
*Awkward - you spelled it Alkward.
*Unreasonable - you spelled it Unreesunabull (come on!!!!!)

The list goes on.
Not great stead for somebody taking A-Level English Language.
Even worse for somebody who 'Wants to be the first jewish prime minister' - Get real. At the end of the day you are nothing, you take massive amounts of drugs and alcohol on a daily basis, you wear eyeliner and mascara, you snort plant food up your nose, you have sex with random girls in alleyways unprotected (You've already got one baby on the way, how many more do you want?!) and you think you are better than me?

I don't know why you think you can speak to me the way you do, and consider yourself a "different class of human to a half-breed, air-headed immigrant" such as myself. Words from your own mouth my friend.
So just a great big HOW DARE YOU really, i spent a very long time in tears over this before i came to the conclusion that i hate you. I never thought i was capable of hating anybody, but i really, really, HATE YOU. At the end of the day, you can try to patronise me and belittle me all you like, but it won't work with that awful spelling.

Bye

*I would like to point out that i'm not having a go at people who find spelling difficult or have dyslexia or anything like that, i'm just very very angry*

hehe! fair play hun... better to get things out

x

*bows* bravo madam! bravo!

Haha
Better to say what's on your mind than bottle it up!

Lol i love this!
Best to rant to us chicken than let him know your hurting/angry
xxxx

i love this too, actually nearly wetted my pants, especially at the "curstadie" how stupid?! It must be all that plant food What an idiot though, serious! i'd just send that to him, sounds like he deserves it! x

I love that, I'd just send it to him and belittle him for once lol x

Haha- I'd prob have sent it What an unbelievable moron. Could you just block him/delete his emails/change your number?

hahaha i love this
the custard thing had me laughing for a while !
id of probleys sent this by now

please send this, i actually lmao'd
xx