Tempted to talk to FOB I'm gonna cry! - Page 4

Jadelm · Mar 16th, 2010, 18:42 PM

Oooo I'm curious now too (or just plain nosey

) let us know how it goes honey

xxx

trashit · Mar 16th, 2010, 18:44 PM

i'll be sure to, i'd laugh if i get a nasty response, that'll make my day!x

xMissxZoiex · Mar 16th, 2010, 18:57 PM

I Hope everything turns out ok, i would be nice for Jude if his Father/Sperm Donar would show him the attention he deserves but you are doing great on your own! And all Jude Needs is you! I think you have done the right thing sending him a picture of him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

samface182 · Mar 16th, 2010, 19:00 PM

i really don't know what advice to give you ellie.. cos i dunno the whole situation.
but if he isn't bothering to contact you, then he cant be that fussed

only YOU can make this decision, for both you and jude.
your doing an amazing job, being a mummy to gorgeous jude

i know you have prob bein thinking about this constantly, but all you can do is think about it both ways.
will he be a good father to jude?
everything will work out hun

cabaretmum2b · Mar 16th, 2010, 19:54 PM

I think you've done the right thing by sending him a picture and the date...now the ball's in his court and it's up to him what to do. If he doesn't reply or he's nasty, then it's clear that that's that. If not...well, you might be able to get child maintenence out of him or something :P Seriously, though, at least you'll know he cares, and you'll be able to tell Jude that, too. You're obviously perfectly capable of looking after him, though, and you're doing such a fantastic job, you shouldn't feel bad about FOB not being there, because it's his own fault!

Resplendent · Mar 16th, 2010, 19:54 PM

Don't post much but have followed your story slightly.

I think you should tell him he now has a son, what his name is and all the other details you think he should know. I'm sorry but, with no disrespect meant, I don't think it's fair if you are the one who shuts him out of Jude's life. Yes he will probably be fine without a father, but it's never the same. I know you would do whats right for you son, I'm not trying to make you sound bad.. but I think he deserves to know and have the chance to be in Jude's life if he wanted to. No matter how you feel about him, he might completely change towards his son and have a great relationship with him. But obviously if he still doesn't care then I would leave it at that. Then at least you know you tried to give Jude a father.

ETA, just seen that you have. I hope for yours and Jude's sake that he pulls himself together and acts like a man and not a stupid boy. xx

debsxhim · Mar 17th, 2010, 02:12 AM

Normally I would say that every father deserves the right to know about their children, but from what I've read I really don't think he deserves anything! If he knows your number, or knows where you live, or knows someone who knows you, then he has no excuse not to speak to you. I guess a picture and the name and date of birth wouldn't hurt. You could just say your son, send it, then block him again. If that gets him in a better state of mind maybe he will try talking to you just to see how Judes doing.

Good luck, dear!

nightkd · Mar 17th, 2010, 02:53 AM

Haha! Your brother's comment is hilarious!! Go him!!

I think sending him the pic with the DOB is fair enough, then if anything happens later on, he can't say you didn't even tell him he was born - it's given him the chance to see his child and comment. Hope he's not a dick.

xx

trashit · Mar 17th, 2010, 10:58 AM

i'm not "shutting him out" he left and chose not to be a part of Jude's life, and i told him he can't suddenly jump on back in now, he's made his decision and he'll have to live with it. He's not responsible enough to look after a rat, let alone my son.

Anyway. So he replied with-

Thank you SO much. You didn't want me to be in touch but I just needed to know that everything was ok with baby. Thanks for that. Is he called Dexter? I haven't forgotten your picture, will send as soon as I have the money. This afternoons works just gone out the window. Head up my arse moment. Congratulations. I really do wish you both the very best from the bottom of my heart.
Things between us didn't work out how I had hoped. I want you to know I'm extremely proud of you. It's just so amazing.

So i'm not completely furious. Angry that he didn't comment on how beautiful Jude is though

although saying that, i wouldn't expect him to he's never been the most enthusiastic of people... So there we are lol.

cabaretmum2b · Mar 17th, 2010, 11:29 AM

Oh, thank goodness for that. That response could have been a LOT worse, and now you know where he stands with it all. He obviously cares to an extent about you and Jude, even if he didn't before. At least now you don't have to worry about him any more. Well done

Mar 16th, 2010, 18:42 PM	#31
Jadelm Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: UK Posts: 2,678	Oooo I'm curious now too (or just plain nosey ) let us know how it goes honey xxx

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 18:44 PM	#32
trashit Pregnant (Expecting) Join Date: May 2009 Location: YORKSHIREEE :) Posts: 4,745	i'll be sure to, i'd laugh if i get a nasty response, that'll make my day!x

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 18:57 PM	#33
xMissxZoiex Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nottingham, UK Posts: 5,152	I Hope everything turns out ok, i would be nice for Jude if his Father/Sperm Donar would show him the attention he deserves but you are doing great on your own! And all Jude Needs is you! I think you have done the right thing sending him a picture of him. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 19:00 PM	#34
samface182 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: UK Posts: 4,053	i really don't know what advice to give you ellie.. cos i dunno the whole situation. but if he isn't bothering to contact you, then he cant be that fussed only YOU can make this decision, for both you and jude. your doing an amazing job, being a mummy to gorgeous jude i know you have prob bein thinking about this constantly, but all you can do is think about it both ways. will he be a good father to jude? everything will work out hun

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 19:54 PM	#35
cabaretmum2b Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Portsmouth, UK Posts: 3,354	I think you've done the right thing by sending him a picture and the date...now the ball's in his court and it's up to him what to do. If he doesn't reply or he's nasty, then it's clear that that's that. If not...well, you might be able to get child maintenence out of him or something :P Seriously, though, at least you'll know he cares, and you'll be able to tell Jude that, too. You're obviously perfectly capable of looking after him, though, and you're doing such a fantastic job, you shouldn't feel bad about FOB not being there, because it's his own fault!

Status: Offline

Mar 16th, 2010, 19:54 PM	#36
Resplendent Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: England Posts: 31	Don't post much but have followed your story slightly. I think you should tell him he now has a son, what his name is and all the other details you think he should know. I'm sorry but, with no disrespect meant, I don't think it's fair if you are the one who shuts him out of Jude's life. Yes he will probably be fine without a father, but it's never the same. I know you would do whats right for you son, I'm not trying to make you sound bad.. but I think he deserves to know and have the chance to be in Jude's life if he wanted to. No matter how you feel about him, he might completely change towards his son and have a great relationship with him. But obviously if he still doesn't care then I would leave it at that. Then at least you know you tried to give Jude a father. ETA, just seen that you have. I hope for yours and Jude's sake that he pulls himself together and acts like a man and not a stupid boy. xx

Status: Offline

Mar 17th, 2010, 02:12 AM	#37
debsxhim Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 316	Normally I would say that every father deserves the right to know about their children, but from what I've read I really don't think he deserves anything! If he knows your number, or knows where you live, or knows someone who knows you, then he has no excuse not to speak to you. I guess a picture and the name and date of birth wouldn't hurt. You could just say your son, send it, then block him again. If that gets him in a better state of mind maybe he will try talking to you just to see how Judes doing. Good luck, dear!

Status: Offline

Mar 17th, 2010, 02:53 AM	#38
nightkd Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: British Expat in USA Posts: 8,375	Haha! Your brother's comment is hilarious!! Go him!! I think sending him the pic with the DOB is fair enough, then if anything happens later on, he can't say you didn't even tell him he was born - it's given him the chance to see his child and comment. Hope he's not a dick. xx

Status: Offline

Mar 17th, 2010, 10:58 AM	#39
trashit Pregnant (Expecting) Join Date: May 2009 Location: YORKSHIREEE :) Posts: 4,745	i'm not "shutting him out" he left and chose not to be a part of Jude's life, and i told him he can't suddenly jump on back in now, he's made his decision and he'll have to live with it. He's not responsible enough to look after a rat, let alone my son. Anyway. So he replied with- Thank you SO much. You didn't want me to be in touch but I just needed to know that everything was ok with baby. Thanks for that. Is he called Dexter? I haven't forgotten your picture, will send as soon as I have the money. This afternoons works just gone out the window. Head up my arse moment. Congratulations. I really do wish you both the very best from the bottom of my heart. Things between us didn't work out how I had hoped. I want you to know I'm extremely proud of you. It's just so amazing. So i'm not completely furious. Angry that he didn't comment on how beautiful Jude is though although saying that, i wouldn't expect him to he's never been the most enthusiastic of people... So there we are lol.

Status: Offline

Mar 17th, 2010, 11:29 AM	#40
cabaretmum2b Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Portsmouth, UK Posts: 3,354	Oh, thank goodness for that. That response could have been a LOT worse, and now you know where he stands with it all. He obviously cares to an extent about you and Jude, even if he didn't before. At least now you don't have to worry about him any more. Well done

Status: Offline

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