i recenlt had a pregnancy 'scare' (i wouldn't call it a scare, because i wasn't really scared. i was excited!) but i've since found out it was nothing more.
i've decided i really want to concive and i've thought reall hard about it. i know it could cause a few problems seeing as im only 16, but i really think it's right for me.
Does your boyfriend want a baby too? I had my first when I was 17 & I'm not going to lie, it wasn't easy. Having emotional support around you is very important.. I was lucky in that most of my family were happy (eventually) about me being pregnant, & that my boyfriend stayed with me through everything. Good luck!
I don't know hon. Is it something you truly want or something that you think you want?
I am not going to judge or criticize but you have so much time to seriously think about having a baby. And a lot can change between now and later.
I remember when I was dating a guy back when I was 16. Man, I thought I'd be with him forever and I thought I loved him. Didn't think about having kids though.
Yet, we started to grow up and each in opposite directions. At 29 I truly found the love of my life and true love at that.
At 16, I had a lot of growing up to do and I look back and I think of how immature I was and how lessons I learned along the way taught me so much. I look back at the love I thought I had felt at 16 and it truly wasn't true love.
I truly think you need to think this through. Having a baby is not like playing dolls....there's so much more to it than that. Yes, children are such a reward to life, but it can be very tough too. The freedom you once had is no longer there and you cannot think of yourself and your needs anymore.
I find it so hard to wrap my head around those who are young and trying to ttc. I have a daughter and I would be flabbergasted when she turned 16 and told me that she wanted to have a baby. I'd look within myself and have to wonder why. Did I not give her the love and affection she needs? Did I go wrong somewhere? And the big question, WHY?
Klaire i had my first at 16 but i in no way was TTC. I was lucky to have lots of support to help me out. I wouldnt change having him for anything but you do really need to think this through. Do you's have your own place? do you's work and earn enough to support a baby? and give he/she the life she deserves?and are you willing to give up being a teenager ?Not to mention not being able to do the usual teenage thing like going out drinking, dancing ect its a huge sacrifice to give up being a kid. Like leeane said at 16 you may think you will be together forever but it doesnt always work, sure sometimes it does,but mostly not. I know i thought i was in love with my sons father but he left not long after i found out i was pregnant and i have only seen him a handful of times since my sons now 7 and his father is now in jail, so things can change hugely when your so young . Having a baby is the most amazing thing anyone can ever experience but you need to be 100% sure that your doing it for all the right reasons and not just because you want one i'm not judging you at all but i have been there and know how hard it is even with support just remember you have your whole life ahead of you to have a family please just be sure before you make any decisions good luck xx
i've decided i really want to concive and i've thought reall hard about it. i know it could cause a few problems seeing as im only 16, but i really think it's right for me.
i hope you dont judje me cos of my age!
klaire xx
I dont judge you TTC at 16 because I have not lived your life but I do wonder how you have thought really hard about TTC because it wasn't very long ago you posted that you need help because you were scared. TTC is a huge decision not something to be taken lightly as it is a whole life decision not something you can take back. Maybe you should wait a few more cycles and see if you still really want a baby, and everytime you go out or spend money or go to school think about how much more difficult it would be with a child. Remember babies are only tiny for a little while then you have a child who will need you. At 16 you could provide your child with love but not with much else. Love wont keep your child warm, love wont buy school clothes or food. How are you going to pay for bills. Here are some things you should get in order before you TTC.
1. Financial security - do you both have jobs?
2. Place to live - do you and you boyfriend have your own place? It isn't fair to either of you parents to live off them if they wanted another baby they would have one their self
3. relationship stability - How long have you been dating is he going to leave when times get tough?
4. Education - Will you continue to go to school? What will you do with your child while you are at school? How will you pay for daycare costs ect.
If you think you are mature enough to try for a child then you should be mature enought to do some research into the cost of babies and children and housing and all the other things you will need to pay for, and see if your job will be able to pay for it.
I have also just finished reading your other post and in it you said
Quote:
Well, im not too sure. i really dont think id be able to abort or put a baby up for adoption. i mean, thats not really taking responsibility. Im moving down the country to live with my mum in august so i know my boyfriend wouldn't be impressed and he probably would want me to abort.
but, i'd probably keep the baby if i was.
If you boyfriend would want you to abort why is he so on board with ttc now. Plus just a few days ago you were scared and were sure what you would do if you were pregnant. You just didn't want to abort or put your child up for adoption it didn't mean you wanted to keep the baby it was just the only option left. Think about it for a little longer. You are still young and have plenty of time to grow up. Be a teenager while you can don't rush into adulthood just because you are excited.
Oh,honey,I truly cannot support you in this decision.I may sound like a b**** but I don't consider this a good idea.
You are SO young.You can't possibly be sure that you'll be with your boyfriend forever.
There is so much out there,waiting for you.You have so many options in your life.
What about education,do you have a job,you'll be living with your mom don't you think that she should be included in your decision?You're bringing a child into her home after all.
Don't you want to give your child the absolute best?The best you can do?
You have to build yourself and live life for a bit before you think about helping another human being live theirs.
Now,I don't want to judge,but my pregnancy is completely accidental and my situation is very good(financialy and when it comes to finishing my education).
Now,you had a pregnancy scare recently and you said yourself you were scared.Your situation didn't sound very good,your boyfriend wasn't happy.
Think about the reasons why you want a baby.Talk to your mom if you can...
Cause I don't think you understand how serious this is with all do respect...
Last edited by nikky0907 : 26-04-2008 at 10:58 AM.
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