I am so sick of being wary of asking people for advice on things because im young.
I dont know if anyone else has this but coz im a young mum i feel like everyone has already assumed im not gonna be a very good one or that at the very least ill struggle...and so i spend so much time trying to show how competent i am and how wonderfully things are going that when i do need advice or have a small question i rlly dont want to ask it in case people take it as a sign im struggling!
Seriously if i get one more concerned raised eyebrowed smile when i ask someone a teeny question im gonna snap!
And family asking me 'so who does the night feeds then? You or your mum?'
WHAT?
Yeh sure its my mum, i lend her my boobs, she tiptoes into my room and feeds him for me.

And why? Why, WHY whenever i do go to the Breastfeeding group in my area, which i do very rarely for this reason - if anyone who has just started feeding or is having a problem expressing or w/e asks the group advice as a whole and I answer is my response just brushed aside. But if someone older says the exact same thing they get a 'ahh yes, ill try that thanks.'
In the situation i talking about the mum who said the same thng as me has a baby who is only 2 n half months. AT that point i had a just 4 month old so have been BFing longer...she was planning on stopping when she hit 4 months, i havent decided when ill stop..just i know definatly after 6 months..probably closer to a year or more.
Its not a BFing competition but seriously - how come this woman with a newborn (who is only 24 might i add) felt that the other womans advice was more worth noting than mine? Simply because shes in her 30s?
If i ever have any advice to offer someone, as a MUM (not a teen mum, simply a MUM) is it always taken with a pinch of salt because im younger???
And the amount of btiching about teen parents iv heard over the last couple weeks...people speaking purposely loudly in cafes or on buses or elsewhere - in fact every flipping place i seem to be or go to there is someone piping up with their ignorant "opinions"
And if you argue?
Well hell - we've got statistics!
Have none of these incredibly prepared, mature and educated people ever heard the phrase
"lies, damned lies - and statistics"
no?
And coz im a young mum thats doing ok, because i end up leaving them without any decent arguments, well then 'your the exception that proves the rule'
Im not gonna swear on the public forum but o my god would this be an appropriate place to.
That phrase applies when your discussing the finer points of grammer and spelling. NOT when your talking about how 'worthy' someone is of being a parent. There is no rules, there is no majorities, there is a Mother, a Father and their Child.
And yeh i had my son by accident. It wasnt coz i was sleeping around, it wasnt because we didnt use precautions and 'thought wed be ok', it wasnt because we got drunk and threw caution to the wind, it wasnt because we decided hey if it happens the government/my parents will pay and look after him. It was coz the pill didnt work. And im sorry if people arent happy or dont believe that but thats what happened.
The thng that really really really winds me up is that half these people who like to have 'an opinion' on teen mums or young mums or whatever did have sex as a teenager. They didnt stay celibate till they were in a loving relationship, financially stable, in their own home, wisened and mature. So they could of gotten pregnant too. The fact thy didnt means nothing, what would they have done if they did? Copped out and 'gotten rid' as iv heard many exclaim young people should 'for the sake of themselves, their familys and the child' or flippin deat with it. Had their child, loved them and cared for and raised them as well as they can.
You know what, im 18 and i have a nearly 5 month old son. He is a happy, giggly, cuddly, exclusively BFed baby who has only ever left my side if hes been a corridor away at the creche at a local college or ONE night where i went out for a meal with my OH for valentines and our 2 yr anniversary.
I DONT dump him on my parents all the time because im going out drinking, i DONT expect the government to support and pay for my child - im studying as hard as i bloody can to get a ton of qualifications and a degree so i can support myself and my family, im NOT struggeling, i DONT see my son as a 'best friend' or a 'toy' or a 'fashion accesory'. I have left him a hell of a lot less than some older women i could name, in my life iv spent more time looking after and caring for children that many older women. I have done more research on childhood ailments, medicines, milestones, oppertunities than many older women.
That doesnt make them bad parents but it certainly doesnt make me one!
He is my son, whom me and my fiance are soley responsible for. Whom WE take care of, support and will raise to be a happy and respectful man.

Fact is when your a mum in general you have a million and one things to worry about, to feel guilty for, to obsess about. And ignorant people piping up with stupid and insulting generalisations about teen parents or making it quite clear that they dont think much of u really does not help.


If you actually managed to read all that then seriously, well done lol
i rlly needed to vent if you cant tell
apologies for crappy spelling, angry typing makes for difficult spell checking
o wait sorry, itll be because im too young to know how to spell xxxxxxx

Ugh. nothing drives me crazier than ageist shit thrown at a young parent. *HUUUUUGE HUGS* People are so fucking stupid...

we are seriously name buddys lol
Im Kris, your kris
You want to name your son Calvin Thomas, My sons called thomas and lol my cats called calvin
Sorry lol just amused me xxxx

I noticed the names before but HOLY CRAP! hahaha That's too funny. We actually picked Calvin Thomas because A)we really like the Calvin and Hobbes comics (lol) and B) my dad's Tom.

I'm not a teen mum! I am TTC and I'm almost 20 (hey call me crazy) but whenever I mention to ANYONE (including family) I get the whole "your too young you would be better if you waited" blablabla!! I have so much respect for WOMEN like yourselves that do have kiddies in your teens and I think you ALL make great mums!!

Again even though I'm not a teen mum I ALWAYS seem to stick up for them when I hear ignorant people say things like you have mentioned! Unless people are in the situation you are in they will never understand! I take my hat off to you and everyone else in the "teen pregnancy" section because you are ALL great and probably 1,000,000 times better mum's than most 30 year old mums I know of!

hun keep your head up and be proud, you do not have to prove yourself to ANYONE!! xxx

Thanks noodle
Lol they r both lovely names kris xxxx

lol thanks!

I get the too young thing as well. I am only 20 and we've been TTC for over a year and are finally getting our baby. People keep telling me how immature I am and that I'll just end up giving our baby to my mother. It's stupid, yes, and people don't understand how to shut their mouths...
but at the end of the day, you know the truth and it doesn't matter anymore. I look at my husband and I'm proud of what we've done to make our child and I know I'll be the best mom I can be regardless of age!

I just wanted to comment to show that I read it all

Just kidding... But I was about to go to bed since Riley should be up any time now and saw a new thread by you and HAD to read.. big hugs to ya hun you're doing an amazing job and I've only been doing this whole thing like a week since I brought him home and it's so incredibly hard but looking up to people like you and seeing how you're able to do it all and then some makes me have higher hopes and try harder to be a better mother towards my son

What we need to do is print that speech up right there and hand it out to the masses so they can get their heads out of their a**es. It's kind of like no matter what you ladies do, because of the stereotype people will all assume you are something else. Just know that you are all GREAT moms, and that there are people out there (like me) who think the world of you guys. Maybe I should start talking loudly when a young mom is around to combat other people's comments, haha.

And hey, isn't asking questions a lot better than being too stubborn to be open to other peoples' opinions? That's just me.

Perhaps it's different in the UK. There are a lot less young moms, it seems, at home and in college. But people seem indifferent where I live. I've seen a few people from the UK moan about benefits and thats why they don't like young moms- maybe that's it?

Or, maybe they are all just morons.