My mum had me when she JUST turned 19. She ran away from home to be with my dad(ex husband of hers) and lived with his parents. She had a MC with first baby at 18 and then concieved me. Anyways, in my family girls have ALWAYS had their babies young. About 20ish. Me and my fiancee want to try for one after we finish college. Next year. We have been together a long time now and feel ready.

The thing is, I have noticed here people think that if you dont have a stable income, with loads of money saved up, uni, and a flat having a baby is a stupid idea. Im just wondering on your thoughts. Because personally, I think you dont NEED to have cars and money for a baby, thats what family is for right? and If you REALLY need help there is benefits.

We have just been thinking of the whole flat and money thing because he may be getting a very well paid job with my step dad. but if he cant we dont want to give up having a baby at the age we plan to.

Sorry this is long. First post

Hiya hun, of course you dont need loads and loads of luxuries, all you need is a happy healthy stable environment, a good relationship if you are obviously planning to have a baby and you need to work out how you are going to pay for the baby's things. Of course it is more sensible to wait till you are stable with money etc, so you wont be worried all the time about where you are going to find the money to buy this and that.


I fell pregnant really quickly, accidentely, and tbh i wish i would of been more stable, cause then you don't have the worries of how you are going to pay for the things. You are entitled to certain benefits so go to direct.gov.uk to see xx

Thanks. Its just because my mum told me she would support me all the way, though it would be wiser to wait till after college so I have the time(+job hopefully). Which I am doing anyway, but its SO hard to find a decent job right now with all the recession and everything, and I really want to be a young mum. I think its because I grew up in that environment it feels right + I never wanted children before I met my fiancee, so its a whole new feeling for me and Im so excited!!

I dont think it is fair to think you can just rely on the benefit system to raise your baby. I didnt ttc (well not really) and i certainly never would have done without a stable relationship, all my finances in order etc. Babies dont want or need loads of money throwing at them, but what they do need is a loving stable home with enough money to feed and clothe them. I fell pregnant unexpectedly at 16, i had a job, had a boyfriend, we had a home. I had to leave my job to be near my family as i was really sick in the early weeks and just needed their support, boyfriend left me when i was 30 weeks pregnant..... im on benefits now but it makes me feel so degraded, i feel awful about it, i know i shouldnt be ashamed but i really am, i dont tell anyone that thats my source of income, i tell them my family are helping me out. I know i'll be a good mum, i dont doubt that, but i didnt choose to have a baby at 17, be single, living alone and on benefits...... I dont know why anyone would choose that I definitely think its better not to follow the pack in your situation, get your education and get a job sorted, llive your life a little and then think about babies. Its not as easy as you think, pregnancy isnt a pleasent thing, i wouldnt change it for the world but if i could have changed anything it would just to have had Audie in a few years time..... Think about it sugar

And If you dont have a stable income how are you going to get any money? Benefits I guess...

I mean I understand a lot of the girls on heres pregnancys were unplanned and they are having to rely on benefits, thats fair enough- But its a completly different issue if you are going to be trying and relying on the goverment to support you.

Yes you dont need cars or a flat or loads of savings but it helps!

I can imagine it being really hard.You should not feel degraded at all though. It was not YOUR choice to be on benefits. By the time we try Ill be 18 so im expecting it to be easier getting a job. Ill hopefully be working at the vets after my course, so it will be enough income to get by, and if my boyfriend has a job he will be able to support all of us on just his income. Im just worried that IF he cant get a job, and I dont get that job i dont want to wait a REALLY long time, Im itching to have a baby. I know i have not experienced it etc, but my mom had it REALLLY hard, and she has managed. So many young girls do. I have time though, to think hard about it

how old are you now hun?

17 x

same age as me! Well i'd definitely take some time to think things through..... im not saying that life ends when you have a baby but it definitely changes and gets alot harder. You can try to plan it all out before you fall pregnancy and say you'll get a job first etc etc. But life doesnt always go to plan (in fact it rarely does) And so i'd definitely think about having a social life first, just partying and being a normal 18 year old. I mean do you really want every penny you earn going on nappies at your age, or do you think you'd miss buying that nice dress in topshop? Cos trust me it wont go near you when your preg lol! xx

I would defs suggest you go and experience life before you try and have a baby. Im 20 and stil wish id done things differently, although i wouldn't change bump for the world. I don't have a proper job (earn money by babysitting every other night) & im also on benefits, which aren't really that great!! My social life has totally gone down the loo as my friends are going out every weekend partying. Iv had to rely on my mum quite alot to buy baby things and what i have bought most has been 2nd hand (not that theres anything wrong with 2nd hand)
Do u really want to live the rest of your life by 'just getting by' ? Always having to watch what u buy and how much u spend? X