Nothing wrong with opinions, forums will always bring questions - as long as they are friendly opinions not racist, aggressive, abusive its perfectly healthy. Just can't keep eyes shut that it doesn't happen.
None of the girls so far that have commented have ever been seen to be 'nasty' just curious. One of the curious questions was breifly asked and that was the hubby comment and thats simply as easy as curious on top of some of the fact more regular members have seen the liars that can appear on BabyandBump (and other forums) - although you should stop being so paranoid hehe - Anyway what ella170 made said about the hubby comment probably makes sense.
In my opinion what I think is sad -not wrong- is that it's hard for people -sometimes because of their personalities, sometimes because of their environment and sometimes because of young age- to recognize that they need not act on each and every feeling.
Mature decisions in one's life ought to be based in a lesser manner on feelings than they are on rational thought process involving a lot of mental work to envision all sides, answer all questions and prepare for all alternatives.
I think it's sad that feelings can be this strong and then vanish in an instant. We all had those when we were teens. Hate, love, wants, they were all extreme and we don't relate to any of them nowadays and I also (unconnected) think it is immensely sad if one brings a child into the world without the ability to care for it in a proper manner and without any real proper forethought, simply because the extreme feeling a year ago was that they were ready.
who are u to judge that she isnt ready i had kids at 16 i was ready i had 2 by 19 and my kids turned out brilliant why judge ppl its there choice and im sure she will be a brilliant mummy when the time arrives
In my opinion what I think is sad -not wrong- is that it's hard for people -sometimes because of their personalities, sometimes because of their environment and sometimes because of young age- to recognize that they need not act on each and every feeling.
Mature decisions in one's life ought to be based in a lesser manner on feelings than they are on rational thought process involving a lot of mental work to envision all sides, answer all questions and prepare for all alternatives.
I think it's sad that feelings can be this strong and then vanish in an instant. We all had those when we were teens. Hate, love, wants, they were all extreme and we don't relate to any of them nowadays and I also (unconnected) think it is immensely sad if one brings a child into the world without the ability to care for it in a proper manner and without any real proper forethought, simply because the extreme feeling a year ago was that they were ready.
can i please just ask as nicely as i can if you know this girl personally is guess you don't or you don't know many if any young pregnant women personally i would now like to ask why you feel the need to make out that alot of us act on impulse of the "i want a cutie little baby" feeling you get when younger just upsets me that you feel you can voice that about young mothers and soon to be mothers so openly without knowing us....
oh what an idiot lol, i just read berkshire. i think thats in/near essex?
I live in berkshire too.
its not near essex. its about 2 hours away maybe 3.
I dont understand the whole "hubby/wifey" culture thing. im from down south and have alot of friends from south end (closer to essex then i am) and i dont know anyone who uses those phrases.
Im the same as everyone else.
I hope i dont offend anyone by saying this because it is totally unintentional.
But i really really really dont agree with sex below the legal age limit, maybe im old fashioned but i dont think anyone at that age is 100% ready physically or emotionally to deal with the issues that come with having underage sex.
alot of you may say "i had a baby at 14/15/16 and im happy" but did you plan it? and honestly if you could go back and relive your teenage years would you? even just untill you was 18/19 before you had children? Because im sure thier are days no matter how much you love your children where you think "i wish i was a child again" because no matter what anyone says or no matter how much growing up you have to do because of situations your still a child at 16, some at 17 i know i sure as hell wasnt mature enough at 17 to have a child. im still struggling to deal with the prospect of it now and im 19.
Well anyway. im really sorry for the rant and i honestly didnt mean to offend anyone and if i have i give you my sincerest apologies.
I also (unconnected) think it is immensely sad if one brings a child into the world without the ability to care for it in a proper manner and without any real proper forethought, simply because the extreme feeling a year ago was that they were ready.
Quote:
Originally Posted by darkheaven77
who are u to judge that she isnt ready i had kids at 16 i was ready i had 2 by 19 and my kids turned out brilliant why judge ppl its there choice and im sure she will be a brilliant mummy when the time arrives
Quote:
Originally Posted by sao
can i please just ask as nicely as i can if you know this girl personally is guess you don't or you don't know many if any young pregnant women personally i would now like to ask why you feel the need to make out that alot of us act on impulse of the "i want a cutie little baby" feeling you get when younger just upsets me that you feel you can voice that about young mothers and soon to be mothers so openly without knowing us....
Please re-read what I wrote. All of it was intently stated as my opinion for one thing and as generalities for another. It was specifically for that purpose that I stated "unconnected" as in not connected to the case in point.
I do not know this girl and yes, the "right age" when a woman is both willing and able to have a child is a very personal and variable one. It is because I do not know her and because I do not wish to chuck her into one category or another -hence judge she is or is not ready- that I have started addressing her with asking her genuinely curious questions and have stated my opinion on the matter IN GENERAL not her case IN PARTICULAR when responding to other posters.
What I stated is based on research that suggests that in general, it is statistically proven that hormonal changes can and do bring about strong emotions at an adolescent age. That is not arguable. Another unarguable fact is that strong emotions are not the breeding ground for careful rational consideration. What you ladies seem to argue is that there are exceptions to that rule and some women are prodigies ready and able to have and raise children very soon. I completely agree with that and just hope that every woman deciding to conceive NO MATTER WHAT HER AGE IS has thought this decision through as carefully as possible.
With that said, I will bow out of this thread now since it is an intensely emotional topic that can easily spring misunderstandings and wish everyone's dreams come true. Have a lovely weekend ladies.
Please re-read what I wrote. All of it was intently stated as my opinion for one thing and as generalities for another. It was specifically for that purpose that I stated "unconnected" as in not connected to the case in point.
I do not know this girl and yes, the "right age" when a woman is both willing and able to have a child is a very personal and variable one. It is because I do not know her and because I do not wish to chuck her into one category or another -hence judge she is or is not ready- that I have started addressing her with asking her genuinely curious questions and have stated my opinion on the matter IN GENERAL not her case IN PARTICULAR when responding to other posters.
What I stated is based on research that suggests that in general, it is statistically proven that hormonal changes can and do bring about strong emotions at an adolescent age. That is not arguable. Another unarguable fact is that strong emotions are not the breeding ground for careful rational consideration. What you ladies seem to argue is that there are exceptions to that rule and some women are prodigies ready and able to have and raise children very soon. I completely agree with that and just hope that every woman deciding to conceive NO MATTER WHAT HER AGE IS has thought this decision through as carefully as possible.
With that said, I will bow out of this thread now since it is an intensely emotional topic that can easily spring misunderstandings and wish everyone's dreams come true. Have a lovely weekend ladies.
i agree with everything you have said chick!!
i was trying to get across a similar point in my post.
but yes it is a touchy subject and sometimes people can take it the wrong way no matter how nice you try and be about things
I live in berkshire too.
its not near essex. its about 2 hours away maybe 3.
I dont understand the whole "hubby/wifey" culture thing. im from down south and have alot of friends from south end (closer to essex then i am) and i dont know anyone who uses those phrases.
Im the same as everyone else.
I hope i dont offend anyone by saying this because it is totally unintentional.
But i really really really dont agree with sex below the legal age limit, maybe im old fashioned but i dont think anyone at that age is 100% ready physically or emotionally to deal with the issues that come with having underage sex.
alot of you may say "i had a baby at 14/15/16 and im happy" but did you plan it? and honestly if you could go back and relive your teenage years would you? even just untill you was 18/19 before you had children? Because im sure thier are days no matter how much you love your children where you think "i wish i was a child again" because no matter what anyone says or no matter how much growing up you have to do because of situations your still a child at 16, some at 17 i know i sure as hell wasnt mature enough at 17 to have a child. im still struggling to deal with the prospect of it now and im 19.
Well anyway. im really sorry for the rant and i honestly didnt mean to offend anyone and if i have i give you my sincerest apologies.
Lots of love
Charly
xxx
when i had my kids at 16 i was married and i never regret having them i would do it all over again but not with the same bloke
again its people thinking they know that every teen mother has regret or misses going out and wasting a weekend drunk out there faces making a fool of themselves how ever you want to fluff it up its judging a whole group of people as one...therefore stereotyping in one form or another... sad really why not let people do what they want with there life without making out its not right cuz you wouldnt do it....
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The following user says 'Thanks' to sao for this post:
I live in berkshire too.
its not near essex. its about 2 hours away maybe 3.
I dont understand the whole "hubby/wifey" culture thing. im from down south and have alot of friends from south end (closer to essex then i am) and i dont know anyone who uses those phrases.
lol well i was never a good one at geography as u can tell...
maybe she uses it then. i dont talk all that east london slang, but i still understand it and people around me use it- it doesnt mean that im going to use it too though. i think she's referin to him as her bf
even if a 12 yr old wants a baby, just let them. its not like theyre going to take any notice of what people on a forum are going to say anyway. its just that everytime a 16 yr old comes on here TTC, they unintentionally start up a whole debate on the subject and its getting quite boring. we all have opinions on teenagers TTC, but i do just think that they come on here for advice and instead they get 'abuse'.
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