glad things are looking up if nothing else at least its made your mum realise that if things dont change with your sister you and willow will have to go. hope you get to stay hun but friday might be too soon a date do you think can you not convince your oh to give it a few weeks because then it gives your mum a chance to see how things are going with your sister and her oh and then she has the chance to get rid of one or both of them if they are not doing whats been asked

well now i HAVE to move.

we were trying to put our insurance and foodstamps to his sisters case.
because HE wanted to.
he fucked up and told me to give one of the social workers his sisters number..
and her stupidass didnt put her primary number on the case.
so when i gave her the number she found out she was lieing and said theres going to be an investigation on the case.
so basically if they see that im not living there his sisters in some serious stuff.
so now i have to move there for the investigations.

thing is OH said last night that we'd move there until my parents got a new place
and until the investigations were over.
so i told my parents last night and they completely flipped out.
so now i dont know what to do.
i told OH that i wanted to stay up until the investigations were over so his family doesnt get into trouble
but after that i wanna come back home and he wont do it.
swears up and down that things havent changed and all of these different things.
that my family uses me as a slave
he says that because yes i do dishes and i do cook dinner and help with things around the house.
and i dont mind because my parents let me live here FOR FREE.
they work there ass off to provide for me and have never let me down.
they even help with Willows things when she needs them and we dont have the money.
so its the least i can do!

but now he says he wants to stay there even after investigations are done.

my parents are begging me for us not to move.
they love me and Willow and even Felix ( my OH )
they see him as a son!
my parents have brought up good points about moving and OH feels like there "trying" to split us up.

hes always saying how i never do this for his family or that for his family .. BUT WTF!
i was the one who brought them back to miami when they were stuck living over 300 miles away.
with no food .. no money .. no gas .. no electric .. no water .. NOTHING to move back to miami.
my grandma ( whos in a nursing home after having open heart surgery ) and i paid for them to get everything they needed to move back!
yet now he wants to take me away from here when she only has a few weeks left in miami when shes moving to upstae florida .. almost 400 miles away.
and is in very poor shape.
then has the nerve to say my grandma is more important to me then my daughter! UGH!

he hasnt once seen the look on her face when i bring her Willow.
throughout my whole pregnancy she always said she hoped Willow was a girl.
so she could finally have her GREAT granddaughter.
shes done so many things for us.

i mean i dont know what else to do .. or what else to say ..
ive been a huge ball of tears today and ive just been so down.

i know if i move im going to be that 24/7.
i honestly dont know what else i can say to him about this situation.
he says its the best for Willow but its NOT.


im honestly thinking about leaving after the investigations are done.
taking Willow and moving back with my parents.
i just .. dont know what else to do.
his familys place isnt stable for her. they wont be able to help with diapers or formula like myparents can. hes like BLINDED by all this.
either that or theres something else there im missing.

if i were in your situation (this is what id do not what im advising you to do) id say to my oh me and my son are moving back home after the investigations and we would like you to come with us but if you dont you dont and if you keep trying to force me to live at your familys house where im not comfortable and dont believe its the best environment for our son then i wont stay for the investigation either. that is personally what i would say and do he cant force you to go and live there you stay where you are happy and your mum is sorting your sister and all that out so problem should be solved it sounds like hes either jelous that his daughter gets to spend more time with your family than his or maybe hes getting pressure for the same reason from his family either that or really he dosent like your family but then you can just tell him if hes so worried about you all living at yours then he would get off his bum and get a proper job.
hope you work things out hun let me know how you get on x

things have taken a turn for the worst

OH showed up with the uhaul ( moving truck ) tonight
and my parents FLIPPED! they got more and more pissed the more he packed up.
my mom got in his face telling him "oh if your such a man to take my daughter away form me then why cant you talk to me like a man " and then went on to call him a few names.
OH just ignored her cause he knew she was upset and didnt wanna say anything to make it worse. but him not saying anything made it ALOT worse.

my mom told my dad he ignored her and that was it.
he told me as my father he wasnt allowing me to go anywhere tonigth.
he told OH that he wasnt taking me or Willow anywhere
OH said that i didnt have to go tonight but he was taking Willow.
dad said no he wasnt and they argued back and forth and then the cops were called.

OHs sister and mom were sitting out front and my mom went off on them.
OHs family told the cops that there were drugs in the house
mom told the cops OHs family was cheating the system.
alot of nasty things were said.
and the whole time this was happening i was so upset i couldnt breath.
i was gasping for air while hysterically crying
it was so bad that they almost called the paramedics.

the cops talked to all of us alone and then made sure OH packed all his things and left
the cops wouldnt even let me talk to him on the property.
i had to walk down the block to talk to him!

so OH left and im still at my parents house until tomorrow.
tomorrow im moving with OH and his family.
i feel like im stuck in such a hard spot that i dont know how ill ever come out of it without someone hating me.
i feel like my parents are making me choose them over OH and Willow.

i cant believe this has happened. ive never been so upset before.
i dont see how anything will ever be the same.
OH and my dad were like buddies. now my parents hate him.
OH doesnt even hate them. his just pissed off about the whole situation.

i feel like no one cared about what i was feeling tonight when they decided to make a scene.
knowing that kind of a spot i would be put in when this went down.
only ones who tried to calm me down when i couldnt breath was OH and my mom.
but that was only for a few seconds.
im literally writing this with tears still in my eyes.
my heart aches from everything that was said.
my head hurts from all the crying.
my body is so weak and so tired but i cant sleep.

i dont know what happens next .. or where things go from here.
im just numb right now.

Hun...

It's hard, your parents love you and Willow and probably worry that you will be safe and provided for, even if they like your OH or have faith in him. I am going through similar with my parents... everytime I talk about moving out they have to ruin it for me somehow, they act as if I think none of my decisions through, they don't appreciate that I have my own family and I have "in laws" to keep happy too while not diasppointing them, or they act like nothing is good enough for me but their home. They still treat me like a child because I still live at home (like you, rent-free).. and interfere sooo much it drives me nuts.

I honestly think right now that I would want to do the same as you though, live with OH while the investigation is on and then come back home to my parents if it's possible.. just because of the environment at your OHs you described. If I had the choice between my OHs familys or my familys.. I'd chose my house in a heartbeat! (Though obvious preference would be with my OH & baby on our own)

Sorry to say I think your OH is just being a bit selfish.. obviously his family is important to him and he wants to be close to them, maybe he doesn't feel at home at your parents' place, IDK. But he's not considering your feelings or what is best for Willow, like you said it's messy there etc, what about when she's crawling and into everything

Jelix hon - it's time that you looked out for what YOU want, and what is best for Willow

I feel for you, I really do, and all of this is making you SO unhappy

Try writing a list of pro's and cons to both living options .... OK, so your sister smokes weed outside the house but, even if she IS dealing and the cops raid the house, your whole family isn't going to be arrested and jailed and why on earth would Willow be taken into care? - they only have to do a blood test on you and they will see that you don't do drugs

Your parents care for you and Willow - not just emotionally, but materially too, their house is clean, tidy and baby safe and, I suspect, if it wasn't for your OH's concerns, you would be quite happy there.

You taking the decision to go to your in-laws could result in a complete fall out with your own family - I really hate writing that but I wouldn't be doing you any favours if I didn't

I know that the investigation complicates things, but I'm sure that, given your age and inexperience (as far as the authorities are concerned ) it can be worked out even if you don't move in .... after all they are not to know that you DIDN'T move in, make the claim and then move straight back out again are they?

You are past the stage now where everyone can be kept happy so what you need to do is to make that list, weigh everything up and decide what YOU want to do - regardless of what anyone else wants It's going to be hard because you are effectively choosing between your family and your OH but there is no other way now hon - whichever you choose is going to upset one side or the other so it makes sense for you to choose whichever is going to be best for you and Willow in the circumstances rather than being pulled every which way by other people who have their own agendas.

Once you make your own, informed, choice then you WILL feel much better - yes there is still going to be hassle and upset, but at least you will feel in control of your own lives, rather than like a parcel that everyone is fighting over

Sending you much love, dozens of and a ton of strength Sweetie xxxxx

i agree with tatties mum, live where you want to thats the best for you and willow no because your Oh wants you to move, not because his sister has been found out cheating the system, Live in the best place for you and willow the cleanest the most baby friendly, the one where you get the support you need.

To be honest if your OH wants you to move that bad he should have a job and rent a house for just the 3 of you.

Me i would be staying put at my parents to be honest, what ever his sister has got herself into if they find out your lying for her you will also be in trouble, and is it really worth moving you and willow out for what 1month to then move again is not really fair on willow to keep being moved about for what your OH/Oh's sister/Family need.

If you going to be unhappy dont do it its not good for you or willow, Happy mummy = Happy baby..

yeah my mom is completely like that. with the whole ruining it for me.
she claims she'd be different if it was us moving into our own place ..
but i KNOW that wouldnt happen. itd be almost the same struggle.
im her first baby so its hard for her. SPECIALLY with Willow here now.
my dad understands that im going to do whatever i want.
he understands that i need to learn things on my own now.
im not there little girl and my mom still sees me as just that.
i know me and Willow are the only thing keeping her sane here.
but its like .. can i really be here forever?
i wanna be able to have a place for just me OH and Willow.
have our own rules .. be able to do whatever we want when we want.
AND be able to have a CLEAN house for Willow.

im leaving today to OHs familys house.
and i do see this as the best choice.
but if its not the best choice .. in the end.
i'll learn from this expierence.

i cant believe my parents think ill NEVER see them again.
even after all of this OH's mom said she would take me and drop me off to visit my family ANYTIME.
and i have friends that would do the same thing.
plus as soon as i get there and get things situated
im getting my license ASAP.


im just worried now about my moms drinking.
i know its going to get worse after this and my little sister is going to be stuck by herself pretty much.
which i think is pretty sad. cause me and her are close.
shes only 11 and shes also gonna take this pretty hard.

no matter what i choose. im going to be the bad guy

i think u shouldstay at yah moms.yh okay shesruining it4 u blahblah but look at whats shes donefor you.

you say oh goesout with his siteranddoesstupid things to get money, is that gonnachange whenu move in? are u notgonna b in a dirty house cooking cleaning and on your own at his house?

if the house is filthy you can notlive there with your child, because then government WILL take willow off you.

you say your moving there because HE told you to do what ever and so his sisters in trouble. & now hislike his leaving and taking ur baby with him, tbh WHO GIVES A FUCK!

WHY SHOULD YOU MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE BECAUSE HIS SISTER MIGHT BE IN TROUBLEBECAUSE OF SOMETHING HE DID!

(i havent redall post so this could have changed but correct me if im wrong. did you give birth to his sister? did u tell himtosign what over to her house? is it your fault she didnt put her propa contact number? NO! so why should u be put in the bad guy position when it seemslike hes making all ur decisionsfor you.

if his family cant even speak english how much of and outsider would you be?

your poor grandmas moving away in a few weeks and he cant understand? FFS Its not you picking your grandma over willow. itsyou making your grandma have loving last day memorys with her great grandhcild!

maybe im not getting the right end of the stick but i think hes so controlling