well when i first found out i was pregnant, my boyfriend and i wanted it to just be us in dr office for appts..dunno why..but that caused a MASSIVE fight with my mom and dad....well now we are over it and they let us go in by ourselves...now at the beginning, a dr asked my mom if she would be in the delivery room with me and she said yes (this was before our fight). im not sure if she knows that the delivery room is included with us wanting it to be just us. i know she wants to be in the delivery room, but it was something me and my boyfriend wanted just us to be there for....and my boyfriend said if she goes in, he doesnt wanna be there and he will wait in the waiting room and i dont want that...but im sooo afraid to talk to her about it because i dont wanna cause another fight (fighting with my mom is the worst....we were so close and i hurt her enough telling her i was pregnant, i just dont wanna start something else.) but at the same time, i dont wanna go into labor and have to deal with it then whos gonna be in there with me.

Maybe your mum is trying to be supportive because she loves you and knows that it'll be a scary time. I don't think she's doing it to try and make you feel unhappy.
I think if your OH decides to miss seeing his child being brought into the world, just because he can't get his own way then that'll be a terrible shame and you'll both always regret it.
Is there no way you can have them both in there? I don't see anything wrong with it. And it'll make everybody happy.

But also, if you really can't stand the thought of her being in there. Then you need to tell her, and soonish. So she can get over it. You don't want to have to break it to her while you're in labour.

no. its not gonna make every body happy if your mom is in there it will obv. upset you and OH. I would just sit her down and explain you don't wanna hurt her or make her mad. But just come out and tell her that this is the time that you start your own family and its a special moment where your becoming parents. And that you want it to just be the parents.(you and OH) she needs to understand. You are bringing a child into the world, it shouldn't hurt her. And if she is so hurt by the situation in my opinon she shouldn't be included in the birth of that child.

tricky one. tbh i think that your mum should respect if youd prefer her not to be there.
me and my mum are not close, but when i asked if she was gonna be in the delivery room she said "do you want me to be?"
its your birth, it should be your decision who is there!!
xx

I would tell her outright, it's better that way, rather than leaving it until nearer the end and letting her down when she's starting to get excited about being there.

I think if my mum had assumed she would be at the birth I'd have put her in her place despite there being an argument, because omg how rude? It's your birth, your choice.. I'd feel awkward having my mum there, it's going to be bad enough with DH and the midwife etc because I'm the sort of person that gets things done when no-one's around, otherwise I get self conscious and nervous because there are people 'watching' iykwim? I'd probably just say "Look mum, I know you want to be there at the birth, but I'd rather it was just me and (OH) I know that might upset you, but it's a special event for us and I'd feel better with fewer people in the room so I can just get on with it!" Could she maybe be there for some of the labour, but not the actual birth?

xx

I personally would try to see if both can come in, or tell her that you don't want her there, but you want her in the waiting room.
I don't think its fair for your boyfriend to say he won't be there if she is there.

I would just bite the bullet and tell her, she'd be more pissed if you tell her at the last minute and the last thing you need when you're late on is stress and arguments.

My OH wasnt fussed but I insisted on it just being us two in there, you're mum should respect your wishes - even if she doesnt like them xx

Thats all true. Im gonna eventually tell her I want it to be just us....and to make up for it I was thinking she could be the first one to hold the baby when she is born.

If you really dont want your mum there then you need to be telling her ASAP. But I always think that its good to have someone there who has been through child birth before to suport you whether thats your mum, a sister, friend or doula. its always good to have good suport, not saying that your OH wont be but fathers can get a bit over whelmed & not suport you in the right way.

I know when i'm in pain or sick i always want my mum & ask for my mum. May be if you would allow her to be outside just in case & then if you can give birth without her then she can see you straigt after.