ive just turned 17 nd found out just last week tht im pregnant. im so confused with what to do. my bf doesnt want it, he says it will "ruin both our lives". but, i cant go through wiv an abortion cause i believe in life at conception and i kno it might sound weird but i already feel attatched to it? i want to stay on at 6th form and go to university, neither me or my bf have a job as were both still at school, the community i live in will look down on me and there is no way that i could tell my parents.
Even though there is no way that i could kill it, i would never be able to forgive myself for putting my bf through this against his wishes. im torn between what i want and what my bf wants and its killing me inside.
I feel like im being selfish when i tell him i dont want an abortion, but, i dont want this baby either. im too young and i have so many dreams in life. however, i have to ignore what I want and what HE wants. im not thinking about myself or my bf because if i was then i would have an abortion. i want to go through with it because i dont think a baby should have to suffer because its parents are so fukin irresponsible.
how am i supposed to carry on when i cant have an abortion but i cant keep it?
u will probably change how u feel once u start having scans etc, u can still go to uni etc, i suppose u could have baby adopted but do u really want to think that something that is a part of u being braught up by somebody else and possiblylooking for u when its older when u could possibly have other kids. u will be suprised how ur parents react they wont be as bad as u think and ur boyfriend might not want u to have the baby because hes not planning on sticking around or it doesnt suit him, if u feel attatched already u obviously want it but are being influenced by others
follow ur heart and do what u want to do, hope ur ok good luck
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The following user says 'Thanks' to jenny873 for this post:
The decision is yours completely. It's your body. It might be a difficult conversation to have but if you decide to keep your baby you might have to have a discussion with your boyfriend to say 'Im doing this with or without your help' sort of thing.
And don't think about what others might think of you, that doesn't matter at all.
And also as Jenny said, you can still go to university and acheive everything you want.
Ultimately the choice is up to you and I hope you're happy with whatever decision you make
xxx
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The following user says 'Thanks' to Linzi for this post:
I kept my baby because I couldn't have an abortion too.
Now I love her more than anything in the world.
I'm going to do all the stuff I wanted to do, it's just on hold for a few years.
Your life only stops when you have a baby if you let it.
You can do SO MUCH when you have a baby.
Don't let anyone tell you different.
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The following user says 'Thanks' to toriaaaaTRASH for this post:
I'm so sorry you're going through this right now, hun.
Don't rule anything out completely. If your gut feelings tell you that you 100% couldn't live with yourself if you had an abortion don't torture yourself with the thought of doing it, though. if your boyfriend didn't want this he should have thought more carefully about whether he wanted to have sex with you in the first place.
Don't assume you wouldnt be able to cope with a baby - hundreds of us do it all the time. But if you're sure that you can't, and you know you can't have an abortion either, the next logical step seems to be to look into adoption.
Unfortunately you are in this situation so you will have to take one of these options... however unapealing they seem... but your options may be broader than you think. I reccomend talking to someone about it, like a school councelor or your GP or local family planning clinic - in order to help you go through what your options are more clearly.
Wishing you all the best, hun Keep us updated?
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The following user says 'Thanks' to TashaAndBump for this post:
We certainly can't tell you what is right or wrong. But do follow your heart! Don't worry about what other's are feeling or will feel, but trust your own feelings!
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The following user says 'Thanks' to leeanne for this post:
Your BF was 50% in the making of the baby and I could understand the feeling of guilt if you'd got pregnant on purpose and he didn't want it but it doesn't sound like thats the case at all and he could have done as much to prevent it as you. The thing is it's easy for him to say have an abortion because he isn't the one who has to do it. For him it's the easy way out as he'll have no feeling for it & doesn't have to go though the procedure but for you there is no easy way. Don't feel guilty about what ever choice you make and don't be pushed into it.
Have you thought of adoption as a possibility if you really don't want it? As Toria said though you'll probably find your feelings about keeping your baby change as you start having scans, seeing your belly grow and feel it moving.
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The following user says 'Thanks' to anita665 for this post:
thanks everyone for all the advice. adoptions easy to say but really who could carry a baby and go through all that stress nd emotions for 9 months just to give their baby away? i wud be too attatchd lol i love it already so i dnt think thts somethin i cud ever do. the longer i have it the more im gonna care for it nd thts y i have to decide quick but this reli has got to be the biggest dilemma im ever gonna face in my life. what if i dont pick the right decision?? xx
I'm so sorry you're going through this right now, hun.
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