right..really dont know where to start!!

my cousin Amber is 18years old her boyfriend is 25 (to which everybody thinks he is 21) she and her boyfriend are living with her sister (my other cousin) her sisters boyfriend and her sisters 5month old baby...my cousin amber and her boyfriend have been together for 7months..

i'l ltell you abit about her...she lives in a total DREAM world! shes always going on about moving to turkey or working in ibiza and all sorts...all these dreams she has ..

Thing is she found out 3weeks ago that shes pregnant...her boyfriend is DEAD against her keeping it...thing is one of the main reasons he doesnt want to keep the baby is because he's not supposed to be in the UK...hes a illegal immigrant (my cousin has only just found out) but amber seems to think she can go traveling with her baby and be a single mum and concour the world..but we all know that isnt how its gonna turn out..if you knew her you would understand abit more.

she half heartedly new she would be pregnant as they didnt use protection one time and didnt do nothin about it..

Shes sure she wants to keep the baby, shes worked out shes ok 10weeks to date...but they we're only staying with her sister temp...they have to be out before xmas, she seems to think having this baby is a walk in the park and is gonna be a breeze...even though its been made clear that her boyfriend will go back to where he is from as he has said he wants nothing to do with her and she will be doing this alone...

not many people know only close family, her mum was supportive...until she found out she also at 41 is expecting her 5th child with her new man, to which now she thinks my cousin amber should get rid of this baby..

she keeps asking me what i think and i dotn wanna tell her what i truely think because i think shes nuts! but i dotn have a clue of what to advice her!

shes booked in tomorrow for a abortion to which she now says she isnt going to..

sorry its so long i just havent a clue what to say to her..i dont want her to do something she might regret eg abortion but i also dont want her to feel like shes made the wrong decision as she has no idea how hard it is bringing a baby up..

That really is a tough situation, but remember that nobody on here will advise towards an abortion. If you read the rules, you'll see that talks about abortion aren't allowed in this forum.

My advice is this: There are many people out there who are waiting for a baby. Adoption waiting lists are huge! If your cousin is really as inept as everyone thinks, I'm sure she can have some sense talked into her that this might not be the best thing for her life right now.

yeah i was thinking adoption...not abortion as i dont believe in them...but adoption seems the bets way for her as she doesnt want a abortion but yet everybody including herself knows she wont cope (not in a horrible way)

OMG, this isn't a win- win situation atall..
i think you should tell her what you think, as maybe you could make her realise that she's in a dream world...

i'm suprised he doesn't want her to keep it, as it gives him citizenship to this country :S

x

he says all his family will disown him as he isnt ment to have sex before marriage his religion...then again should of though about that before they had sex or even before they "forgot to use a condom"!!

true...

is he turkish? as you mentioned she wanted to go travelling around turkey?
xx

nah hes cosivon (sorry spelling :/ lol)

shes just a dreamer...i dont think she realizes a baby is for life...not for just a bit of fun than hand back when your bored..

she gotta relies if she decides to have this baby on her own it'll be her on her own at 2 am with a screaming baby and she'll have to sort it herself as its what she chose!

not sure what kind of relationship they have as he only speaks basic english...not even that!

id suggest some sort of counselling for her ... it was only after i spoke to someone about it i realised deep down abortion was something i could never do. but it took counselling for me to realise that, and i may have done something i regretted if not...
yer it seems a bit of a tricky situation shes in, and hard for you too cos how do you tell her you think shes being crazy ?!
dont know what else to suggest really.. the boyfriend sounds like a loser so take him out of the equation and try get her to realllly think hard about what SHE wants, disregarding him. xxx

If she's stated that she definitely wants to keep the baby, then having an abortion would be the worst thing for her. For some people, the guilt never goes away, and just eats away at your heart. And to have done it for other people, against your own desires? So much worse yet. Why did her mom suddenly drop support just because she's having her own kid? How would she like it if someone told her she's crazy to be having a baby in her 40's and should "get rid of it"? And the boyfriend sounds like an ass.

My friend was like that, thinking that having a cute little baby would be a walk in the park, but reality hit her in the face pretty hard. (Then she had the cheek to ask me if I was really ready for kids- like I didn't know what they were like!) Anyway...! I don't know your cousin, but some people will really surprise you once they actually get used to dealing with their kid. Hopefully, she will love her child so much that she will take care of it as well as she can, and not resent missing out on those pipe dreams of hers. I just hope she finds someone to support her!